I’m probably not your typical person on here. I am 27, good looking, smart, funny, outgoing, have a wonderful family who I know care deeply for me and who have and would continue to give the world to me. My parents are still together, I was never abused or neglected. I have 2 sisters who at the drop of a hat would stop whatever they were doing to be by my side. I have a good job. My co-workers turn to me for everything. I am an aspiring musician and have had songs on the radio. Yet I feel so empty. So lonely. I delt […]
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everything
Here I am writing again.
Trying again.
Feeling pain again.
Suicidal again.
Hearing voices again.
Everything is happening again.
How can I stop it again.
Is it possible again.
Will I end up in the hospital again.
Will I ever be okay again.
I have discovered that I don’t want to die, I want to live but just can’t bear the reality I’m faced with (having no redeeming qualities and having no place in this world). I didn’t understand what it actually meant to die and that scares the living shit out of me. To think how close I came to jumping from a skyscraper and being sucked into a vacuum to never feel or experience anything ever again… it’s hard to believe it’s what I wanted. It was only in coming to close to death that saved my life. But my life is still shattered and I […]
I lost my eldest son to suicide 7 years ago. Since then all the hopes and dreams I had have gone to hell. my daughter-in-law can’t admit to me the problems she has coping with me and the hurt I have to live with so she ignores me. This wouldn’t matter but it means I don’t get contact with my grand daughter and she doesn’t see how that hurts me. But wait there’s more: my only other son suffers from borderline personality disorder and takes everything that goes wrong in his life out on me. I lent him money 3years ago to get him out […]
I have no one in my life. My best friend, doesn’t make me feel like he gives a shit about me. He doesn’t even talk to me some days, but he talks to other people. It hurts a lot. My family isn’t here for me, they’re all to busy with themselves. My other friends don’t care about anyone other then themselves or their boyfriends/girlfriends. I want someone to come over and sit in my room with me and watch a movie and we can just talk about everything. How I feel, how they feel, what’s going on with our families just anything and everything. Just […]
It’s never ending. Every time I recover I get hit with another blow. I’ve made it through trial after trial, never knowing how I ended up on the other side alive. I’m not going to tell my life’s story in my first post on this site, but I will give some insight. I’ve lived the majority of my life alone. What time I was around people; “family”, shelters, fosters, etc.; I always felt different, unwelcome, crazy. I’ve contemplated my death since the beginning of my memories, in a way it fascinates me. I’ve just never had the balls to actually go through with it, I […]
I met her on this thursday … My best friend and my friends given me suprise by taking her at my home … when i seen her , i get shocked. I was too happy and excited when i seen her , it was just like i get my breath, i get my life… i cant tell how much i was happy…. And then she ran to me and hugged me tightly.. i just get another big shocked… it was like i get my life ,i get my everything…. and then i hugged her tightly…. and holded her hands …. we were walking together by […]
I often find it humorous how people say that suicide is permanent solution to “temporary problem” when life itself is merely temporary. Everything you do, every objective you attempt to accomplish, absolutely everything you do in life will mean nothing when you die. This is the joke of life. You spend your entire life setting all of these arbitrary goals and objectives to achieve, and yet it means nothing. Most humans simply survive to survive, which is meaningless in itself. Why do you survive to survive? What is the point of simply continuing to exist for the sake of the continuation of existence when you […]
Heart Broken peoples please Try to live, change your life style if not you will die mentally or may be you’ll commit suicide like my friend did.
I prefer dont do it just dont PLEASE DONT LISTEN these tracks, they are really killing depressping suicidial song.
Radiohead-
CREEP
MOTION PICTURE
LAST FLOWER
NO SURPRISES
My friend use to listen this song when he got depressed.
One day the girl he loved he lose her he loved her like mad, she was really everything for him. She was the reason he was living, totally broken without her, girl was in love with another boy, but he […]
I’m doing this today evening. Don’t know what to do now. I packed everything I’m gonna need (not much, I won’t have a lot to carry), now I just need to get dressed and then I’m leaving but I have no idea where and how should I spend all those hours until evening. Can’t talk to anyone today because I have a big mouth and I’d just tell them everything. I regret not finding a suicide partner a few days earlier, when I was thinking about it, a day spent with another person wouldn’t be so long and boring. I miss my friends so badly […]
The relative anonymity of this site makes this possible. I have a soul that thrives on confession and a mind that recognizes when that’s a bad thing.
A month or so before finding out I was pregnant with my second son I attempted suicide. I was in a very abusive relationship and I felt trapped. Looking back I am aware that wasn’t the case but it felt like it. On top of the abuse I dealt with a lifelong sense of worthlessness and insecurity.
I consumed nearly a fifth of cheap vodka as fast as I could and ate 20 percocets. My boyfriend found me […]
every single time someone looked me in the eyes and asked me why I couldn’t do it, I would tell them it was because of you. I couldn’t imagine putting you through that. I never wanted you to have to worry about me. I was suppose to take care of you, I was suppose to be the one burying you, in many, many years. but here I am, the rope already tied. I’m going to use the chair I’m sitting on, it’s from the kitchen table I hope you don’t mind.
don’t blame yourself because you did everything you could. and please don’t mourn because we […]
Well everybody has a story to tell, and I feel like I should probably put mine out there somewhere, if for nothing more than prosperity’s sake.
I guess my real story starts at age fifteen. I was a sophomore in high school. I never really had many friends, only one or two that I would call friends, and I never really had a girlfriend, even though I was always told by the girls that I was good looking, I guess my personality just wasn’t what they wanted as I tended to be quiet, and introverted. One day I found myself sitting next to a pretty girl […]
That’s how long she’ll be in England for her internship. Just why. Every freaking time we went jogging it was more fun; and today was so great too, we ran together the whole time and laughed and had fun. And afterwards when I said goodbye and wished her luck for her trip I asked whether she was going to go jogging with us again when she’s back from England. She said “yes, probably” and that it’s 12 weeks until she’ll be back, as if she was expecting me to ask for her number or email or anything so we could talk or chat when she’s […]
Just like everyone else i guess i have a heartbreaking terrible life story that everyone should feel bad for me for. There’s always someone who will have it worse, who will have it better, who will be poorer, who will be richer, who will be worse off, who will be prettier, uglier, smarter, dumber, funnier, the list that goes on and on. were all different but one of the few things we all have in common are that we want to be heard, to be noticed, and to be loved. thats why most of us are on here. so here it goes:
as far as things […]
I have to leave this area. I live in East Greenbush NY and I have to get out. This is a horrible area to live in. To live here you either got to be rich and snotty or a druggie. The people here have bullied me all my school life going here until I transferred to an alternative school. I’m to the point I don’t talk to anyone from here anymore. I use to have friends who were decent and pretty cool. I knew there were rumors about me going around but recently, not too long ago I found out about some other rumors besides […]
I was happy everyday I would be happy playing with my friends and family then things changed I went into care and I just felt so lost???? I didn’t know what to do I was in year 5 when I begun cutting it tore my family apart and they would check my arms for cuts they wouldn’t check my legs though in year 6 things became a lot better I was bullied for a while though in year 7 my depression took over I would cut until my arms and legs were red I smoked and did some drugs I didn’t know how to stop […]
Let me start off with the basics . I’m 13 almost 14 . I have 3 brothers ( my older brother is my half brother ) I’m the only girl . My dad wishes he never had my brothers and I , and his life would be so much better if we weren’t in it . He was an alcoholic and a drug user before he had us . He did a lot . Him and my mother were together for 17 year and are in the process of spilling up . My mother has walked in and out of our lives for the past […]
I fell in love at the wrong time. Sometimes, yes, id love a rewind. I say all the bad made me good. But now it’s just bad. And Im bad. I dont trust anyone anymore, im falling away from them on purpose. Too scared of myself to let others in. A feeling akin to a state of dreaming, but Im awake. I feel submerged under water, I like it because nothing can sink as far as I have. Solitude is heaven. Im trying to start anew but everything is too wound up to undo. All I’ve got to trust are my subconscious thoughts.
You know how odd it is, whenever i cry over you .. you text me? Like is this some sick joke? All i want is to hate you but seems to me that will be impossible. I’m so unhappy with life and you just make it worse.. Well today i told Rj i’m tired of being there for everyone else but no one is there for me and i listen to EVERYONE, but yet i have no one? All he said was ‘You need to let people in…’ How can i let people in when my best-friend’s cat scratched her one day and she was […]