Tag:

Fake Smiles

Feelings

by HurtsButHelps 5/20/2013

written by HurtsButHelps

I snapped.
I confided in you my deepest secret.
I trusted you.
But, I was wrong to do so.
You twisted my words.
Made it sound worse than it really was.
Then, you told everyone.
Don’t you know?
I still have feelings.

I thought you were my friend.
I thought you were the only one who cared about me.
But, I was wrong.
You didn’t care.
Others did, but I turned my back, and now they don’t.
It was all you.
You spread the rumors.
You talked behind my back.
Don’t you know?
I still have feelings.

I showed you my scars.
I showed you what I […]

5/20/2013 3 comments

Not good nuff

by kidsuicide 5/7/2013

written by kidsuicide

If I was just a bit skinnier.. Just a bit smarter.. Just a bit funnier.. Maybe, just maybe, she’d like me more then him.. But I’m not. And she doesn’t.
Just the thought of her with him makes me wanna overdose on my antidepressants. She is my world. My everything. And my everything has left and now I’ve got nothing. Which leads me to believe there’s nothing left to live for. Nothing to let go. So why the fuck is it so fucking hard to do so?

Why can’t I walk away from nothing when my everything just walked away from me? Why can’t I just […]

5/7/2013 2 comments

The mess in my head.

by RodMar 2/28/2013

written by RodMar

I don’t like my life. I don’t like the fact that there is a daily routine which I dont like, yet I am forced to follow because of society. I can see most people are not happy, and only pretend. I’m sick of fake smiles and all the judgement. School is very stressful, I hate it. The only reason I think of college is not to study, but to have a new beginning elsewhere, no school and no stress.Yet that life seems somewhat impossible. In school everyone “grows” intellectually, yet our being is deteriorating. My suicide thoughts lately have been very strong. There was […]

2/28/2013 0 comment

Why?

by hazelleyes 2/17/2013

written by hazelleyes

I can’t believe this is where I end up.
This shouldn’t be how I live – or better yet, how I don’t live.

Wasted opportunities, fake smiles, I’m getting too good at pretending.
I’m sick of this all. I’m so fucking sick of this all.
No one even cares.
I just want to curl up and die. Why can’t I?
Everything is just so dark and wrong. Why can’t I just die?

And my sleeping pills don’t even work anymore, last week I’d sleep 16hours a day, now I’m sleeping about 4hours. I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted from having to pretend that I’m alive.

2/17/2013 29 comments

why

by barelythere 1/30/2013

written by barelythere

I’m 13. I am severely depressed. Have been since kindergarten. No joke. I fake smiles every day so no one will realize what’s going on inside my head. I have 1 thing keeping me alive right now. His name is Monte and he is my boyfriend. I love him so much. And I owe him everything. If not for him I would be dead or constantly cutting. I have cut three times, times but they weren’t deep. I just recovered from two eating disorders. Anorexia and bulimia. I’m on medication for anxiety and depression. But all I want to do is take the whole bottle […]

1/30/2013 3 comments

my story

by sinful desires 12/29/2012

written by sinful desires

well as start i never thought that what happened to me exceed others pain,always seemed to me meanless and i always say,for God sake why i’m depressed

my depression came from my past,cuz when i was a child i always been sexually abused by my uncles,i felt dirty and sick,i always tried to tell it to my family but they never cared(until now i’am still being abused)and like this i started to have feeling for girls because everytime a guy touch me i feel disgusted and sick but with girls it was the apposit of it,well i won’t say that i’ am lesbian it was just […]

12/29/2012 2 comments

No Clue

by Miss.Mayhem 11/20/2012

written by Miss.Mayhem

I guess I didn’t notice I loved you until you held my hand. I didn’t know you loved me until my friend told me what you said. But you don’t know me. You know me….but you really don’t. You think I’m perfect because that’s how I display myself. I make sure I smile and laugh. I make sure not to show any emotion I would regret latter. You just think you love me. You don’t, truth me. Once you find out, you’ll change your mind…they all do.

But if you want to know the truth, fine:

Yes, I do have scars I hide.

No, I’m not the girl […]

11/20/2012 0 comment

Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety

by SilverTip 10/15/2012

written by SilverTip

I have to go back to work today after two weeks off’ and I’m so terrified to go. Everybody is going to look at me with those questioning eyes, smile their fake smiles, talk their small talk, ask how I’m feeling…

What do you say to them?

Thanks for asking!

“I’ve been off for two weeks because I can’t handle life. And when I get to this point I like to hurt myself, so I needed this time to recuperate from the demon emotions that overtake who I may or may not be, oh and I binged this weekend like a fat kid in a candy store only […]

10/15/2012 0 comment

Fake Smiles

by abt1212 9/4/2012

written by abt1212

I went to school today. I waited for a few minutes before getting out of the car because i saw someone who might be my friend and I wanted to avoid talking to him. I got into school and in one way had all these thoughts rush into my head but also felt numb. I almost stared hyperventilating. When I saw my “group of friends” none of them even got up to hug me. I hate how I feel inadequate to the people who are supposed to be my close friends. i can’t even talk to them about anything even a little negative because it […]

9/4/2012 3 comments

Never Good Enough

by Ren, The Riddle Queen 7/21/2012

written by Ren, The Riddle Queen

Rachel Ferguson- Never Good Enough

The story of me. I wrote this after my first hospital visit, it was going to be my suicide note but a close friend of mine found me before I died. He has an uncanny ability to call me whenever I’m seriously debating suicide even though he’s moved all the way across the world from me.

Born to the urban monster,

Raised to be mindless,

Her curiosity brought pain,

Tears of blood shed in silence.

Ostracized by her peers,

In the shadows she played.

Her â€œfriendsâ€ cruel like the rest,

As she was bullied there came no aid.

Fragile, she often wept,

They laughed and pointed.

Ridiculed and mocked into […]

7/21/2012 2 comments

Going blindly

by TarotXIII 6/5/2012

written by TarotXIII

Right now I’m only living because I am alive.To not waste what I consider a magnificent oportunity to discover,feel and enjoy everything that moves your heart.Yet no matter how hard I look,no matter how hard I search,I can’t find the rope to guide me trough the maze.I feel so alone…Everyone around me seem so far away,like I was in a different dimension overlaping his one but I couldn’t be touched.I can’t find what moved my heart anymore.Everyday seem wasted.I think: “If I was going to do nothing again,I should have stayed in bed”…Worthless chatter “It’s finaly geting hot outside!”…”I love the cold…”.Everybody looks at me […]

6/5/2012 2 comments

birthday.

by stubborn 5/21/2012

written by stubborn

So today was my birthday. I wanted one and only thing to be left alone. Did I get it no. instead I had family come n wish me the best. I know they care but its like everytime I smile its fake. I hate giving out fake smiles but what do I do? Tell them how I feel. Depressed. If I do then I get endless questions. Maybe today wasn’t one of the best days. Idunno. I guess I’ll just try to keep going even though sometimes…those thoughts come back.

5/21/2012 7 comments

Hey you! Out there in the cold, getting lonely getting old, can you feel me?

by Helix 2/18/2012

written by Helix

It’s so strange… I mean, the way I feel… Am I depressed? I would say yes, but I ain’t that sure thats the right word to describe it. I got problems, many problems, but I’m forced too much to hide the real me and the things I really feel and I end up thinking that pretending it’s fucking okay for the sake of everyone keeping his quiet balance in his life. That’s fucking unfair, I can’t sacrifice myself just to prevent the people that surround me from breaking their peace.
I can’t convince myself that this is simply my life and this is all about […]

2/18/2012 1 comment

i’m dead but still alive.

by 1327 1/7/2012

written by 1327

i’m staring at this blank page waiting to type something but ii have no idea what but i have so much to tell about..so i guess i’ll just start telling.

I’m a girl 15 and last year i tried to commit suicide by cutting my wrists,I survived . I have scars on my wrists and thigh,i used to had more but they fade away, I did a lot of self-harm cuz that was the only way i could feel some relief.My mother heard me cry almost every night,she saw my scratches Â on my arm but didn’t do anything about it.I’ve tried many times to tell them […]

1/7/2012 6 comments

….

by emily25 7/20/2009

written by emily25

I’m 17 to start off with. My parents are divorced and my mom remarried. I am depressed. I don’t really “cut” or anything. Though, I don’t stop from letting an accident happen if it would hurt and make it bleed out. I could most of the time, but I just don’t. I kind of just get really relaxed when something like that happens. It’s proly not good, but oh well. I have ODed once not too long ago and was sick for like four days. I didn’t think of anything though I did feel like shit. It was my fault I did though. I thought […]

7/20/2009 2 comments

all in all

by sion 5/30/2009

written by sion

i’m seventeen, my mom and dad are the only reason i wouldnt want to die, i would like them to understand i need to die, cos i’m no good, i dnt get good grades, i’m not nice to most people, i mean i dont know how to fake smiles, i cant make many friends and i havent learnt not to care about that, but i love my mom and i wouldnt her to feel sad, i wish they didnt love me, that way i’d be free to do what i know i should, if i died it would be one life’s pollution less, not much, […]

5/30/2009 6 comments