I’m so tired of this! I’m so tired of being treated like trash! I broke up with my girlfriend cause I wasnt happy. She’s now putting me through hell and making me feel horrible. I’m tired of my family being horrible to me. I’m tired of being made fun of. I’m tired of not wanting to go home. I want this to be over but I’m trapped. I cant get out of here alive. I just want to die and get this all over with. I dont have a special person I’ll be leaving so that wont hold me back. No one cares except my […]
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family
… Numb.
Just got news that a guy we attended university with passed away. Car accident. It’s weird. He just qualified. Only started working on the 4th of Jan. Hasn’t even received his first paycheck yet. Now he’s dead.
Another guy died in a car accident last year. He was in his final year as well. There were 5 of them in the car and only he died, the others survived.
I don’t really know how to feel. I’m just numb. It’s sad really. People who really deserve to be around are dying. Just when his life was about to get better. The 6 year struggle at Medical […]
I am literally at my wits end. I can’t do it anymore. Why even live if you can’t even live your life? Literally stuck and not having a say. My dad has Alzheimer’s and he has to have care 24/7 and since I just got done with my classes and moved home (until I do my internship) I have to stay with him while my mom goes to work. She’s always like well you can watch him until I come home and then you can go to work. I would be fine with that but since I have been watching him for the past 4 […]
This urge is getting stronger yet my family doesn’t understand why I try to fight it. So what if I’m “useless” by not driving, would crashing into a traffic pole be better? Time after time, I’ve proven I would let everyone drown while watching… Friends, family, every single person… If being human means being empathetic than I’m not human. I’m a monster and I’m done repressing it. Not that I was ever good at repressing it… To be honest, I don’t understand why anyone would be sad at my death. Sorry, everyone. I just needed to vent very badly today.
In less psychopathic news, Alan Rickman […]
Quite surprisingly, I have survived my suicide attempts 12 times over the last seven years. Though this is not necessarily something to be boastful about, I believe that things happen for a reason; even if the premise behind my repetitive failures is unbeknownst at this particular time.
I am eighteen years old, and this dark phase of my life began seven years ago subsequent to the loss of a an individual who I considered to be more of a mother to me than that assigned to me biologically. Subsequently, I lost the only real paternal figure I had two years ago. Between these two losses, […]
I’m asking this because I think this is why everyone in our neighborhood hates my family. This is why they harassed me and ended up killing my brother.
We are pretty much the only decent and properly groomed children in my area. Kids younger than me have a kid or 2. They are school dropouts with no future. They are drug addicts and so on.
In my family though, we are all going to school and making a name for ourselves.
My father is the breadwinner of the family. He needs to retire now. He has been working too hard. My mother is a housewife. She had to. […]
I love you all,
But you never cared at all.
Sometimes you all show your fake love,
I always hide my tears with smile.
Amnesiac me, remembers few things,
But you even forgot me.
I dreamed your dream coming true,
But you never ask what I like.
I was with you in your bad times,
You deserted me in my wrost.
I LOVED YOUR LIKENESS,
BUT YOU DIDN’T EVEN CARE FOR “MY LOVE”.
People don t understand how much I hate my life, I have secrets about it like how much everybody treats me like I don’t mean anything. I wasn’t so coward and went through with my suicide, I would have been the first person in my family to commit suicide. I’ve cut, I’ve tried to commit suicide over 5 times One day I’m going to I don’t know when or how but its going to happen.
For me : My love cares for me alot, alot.
But before she came, I also used to think that no one cares which lot of you guys think and feel.
And I know this for certain that we(SP) care. We(SP) care when any member of our family feel low or go thru any horrible situation. So don’t ever think that no one cares.
How ironically hopeful and beautiful, it is ? 🙂
Let me start from the beginning. (I’m now revising this and this definitely did not go in the order I thought it would)
I don’t want to reveal my identity too much so i’ll play this safe and call myself Kai.
I’m seventeen years old, eighteen in March. I’m a transgender boy (born female) and i’m gay. My mom’s side of the family is one of the biggest group of unsupportive close minded people you will ever meet. Ever since I was young, I knew i felt different than my siblings and cousins. My family tries to look like your average apple pie and a […]
Hello everyone. I’m new here. I’m almost 24 and my native language is not english, so excuse my poor english.
I have been dealing with anxiety and depression (i guess it appeared later) since the age of 15/16 i guess. It started after my dad said yes to a surgery to my kidney( i didn’t want to do it cause i knew it wouldn’t fix anything, it was’nt a matter of life or death, not anything closer to that, just to fix a congenital problem). But the only thing it brought to me was a psicosomatic disorder and later anxiety and depression.
I’m telling you […]
Your words eased my pain in my time of need. I missed visitation with my son again today. Partly because of my reactions and anger.
Sorry to my parents that I’m angry. My family was taken from me and you’d rather judge me for my faults than be happy that I toughed out this loneliness as long as I did. I miss my son, and I miss my pug.
Sorry, I guess I’m just a coward, but I give up. I hope you’re all proud of what you’ve done.
Loaded Sig Sauer P250, hollow point 9mm Luger round, aiming for the roof of my mouth/tonsils, wish me luck. […]
don’t try to act like we’re pals. i don’t even know you. who the fuck do you think you are, waltzing into my life all of a sudden? you fucking stranger. you’re not welcome. i bet you think you bring redemption upon me. well it’s too fucking late for you. you were never around when i needed you. now you can politely go fuck yourself. don’t act like you’re a big shot. you’ve had your whole life to make everybody hate you. now suffer. and stay away from my new family or i’ll cut you to pieces i swear. i’ll fucking kill you.
For those who want to leave this world, for those contemplating suicide but are to hesitant to go through with it, theres a reason for that. Something is holding you back. I think when you love something or love someone, that is the reason for you to stay. I thought long about this as I sat in the shower remembering the period of time when I felt very suicidal. I imagined in it in my head, my suicide.
I take the handful of pills I had prepared nights before from the cabinet. Tonight is the night. I write a letter to each family member in […]
I was having a blah day yesterday. Wasn’t horrible so I guess that was a “good” day. Then at night as I was heading to bed, I just somehow started thinking about my family (which is *never* good) and all the sh*t they did to me and I just got so angry and so sad and started crying.
I’m wondering how many people here on SP have a good family and yet still suffer from depression? I feel like most people who have depression have their depression stem from having a bad family or a bad childhood.
Let’s do a tally.
__ Good Family
__ Not Good Family
“IT”, is something that I think about all the time. Every day and every night IT is on my mind. I’m not sure if IT is something that I want to do, or something that would help relieve that darkness that I feel. IT, is a word that I can’t say without feeling sick to my stomach. I want to cry whenever I think of IT. But just for your information, “IT” = Suicide.
I’m not too sure that IT is something that I want to do. All I know is that I want to disappear. I want to disappear from my family, my friends, my […]
It has been ten days since i moved back home. i don’t know what i feel right now. but my head keeps trying to find ways to escape from here. i was suppose to see the person i can talk to 10 days ago.but they were out of town. and i don’t want to text them and bother them during the holidays. i know they can help figure me out right now. i don’t want to go back to college. i hated college. i never wanted to go in the first place, but i had to. if i didn’t, i would have no […]
This is embarrassing for me. I feel weak and pathetic and I have never shared these feelings with anyone (except for my boyfriend a long time ago who says I need to stop being so dramatic) I don’t have any real friends and have a difficult time getting close to people. My ex of seven years left me right after I had our twins. I haven’t seen him since they were born. I am a failure as a mother, too impatient and stressed. I get no break from parenting besides work, which fails miserably at supporting me and the kids. I am disgusted by my […]
The sadness is a heavy weight in my chest, a deep empty feeling.
It’s better than being angry, I think, but this pain is so consuming. If I’m not actively distracting myself (and even sometimes when I am) I can just feel her absence, the loss.
I don’t want to feel this way. I’m so tired of being sad. And even worse, I think I’d be happy if my heart wasn’t broken. After ten years I finally feel like my depression is lifting, but I still feel incredibly sad anyway.
It still feels unreal, that she left. She’s my best friend- I was her best friend- and I thought […]
Despite the fact that I hate Christmas, I was somewhat having a reasonably okay day yesterday. That was until my biological dad decided to harass my mother and I during the afternoon. After not hearing from him in 6 months, he sent awful messages to us about how I’m a disappointment and useless (after understanding how bad my mental state is when he first got back into contact, he decided he couldn’t cope and thought it was best to tell me how he’s better off without someone as ‘insane’ and ‘unstable’ as me). After getting no response from myself and minimal from my mother, he […]