I can’t stop feeling like a freak…
Everyone around me, including family, constantly make a fun of me for who I am… to the point where I meltdown… and all they do is laugh at me…
I constantly get abused emotionally and physically… For no fucking reason… and I feel like nobody wants me around…
What the fuck is wrong with me…? I’m really nice to everyone… and they still treat me like shit… and now… I can’t stop feeling like a mistake…
I can’t stop thinking about suicide… I tried hanging myself with an extension cord once… and I can’t help feeling like I […]
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family
I 100% want to commit suicide. Â This is not a new thing, I’ve been feeling like this for a very long time! God and my family has prevented me, now for the last 2years, the only thing preventing me is my parents, the rest doesn’t matter anymore. Yes, I’ve been for help, psychiatrist, doctors and psychologist. Been on meds. But i’m going to try and live through until my parents are gone, then me. I just wish it can be sooner!
I’m a 13 year old girl in 8th grade and 2013 was a hard year for me along with the start of 2014. I had already had problems in my family before but all of this made it worse. My parents got divorced when I was 2 and while I was growing up, I was told that they just weren’t happy so it was the best thing for them to do. Around this time last year my grandma told me that my father had been cheating on my mom and got another women pregnant. I grew up thinking that my father was some great guy, […]
Can you hear me? Not many can. A year ago, I became depressed. Life just doesn’t  make sense anymore. I could hear the whispers behind my back, and I saw the looks I got. I got pretty nervous; I was always checking my back. I stayed up for hours at night, writing letters and wanting the courage to do it. I wanted to kill myself.
I lived in fear. I wanted to leave this world; I was so tired of living. But I was scared of the consequences. I hated my mother, we always fought and I did not believe she loved me. I don’t think […]
Well, this is my story. My first attempt to suicide when i was 16+. My true suffering when i started my IGCSE studies at the age of 15. According to my seniors, it was a year that supposedly has no room for fun and games. So i studied and really put in a lot of effort to work smart. Unfortunately, i was disadvantaged due to the fact of not having friends to support you when you need them the most and having a family that ask’s too much of results from you not knowing that they hurt you psychologically and physically. Meaning physically by the […]
Came across this forum while researching things related to suicide and the reasoning behind it. I’ve had a good life, and I’m still young with lots of potential but things seem to just keep piling on, the puzzle pieces never quite fitting together. Last night I had it in my mind that it was the night I was going to see what was on the other side because whether it’s better or worse it should at least be different. The one sad thought I have is that I always wanted my death to count for something, to either give my life for someone else or […]
I am 19 years old and I have an eating disorder.
Two weeks ago I was admitted to hospital for an overdose and for self-harm. My normal weight before the eating disorder was 73kgs but now I range between 59-62kg (which is on the brink of unhealthy for my height).
Between the ages of 8-12 I was continuously sexually abused and when I was 12 I was taken from my house by child protective services because of a FALSE allegation against one of the male family members in my family.
Since that night I was forced to live away from home. Luckily I was allowed to […]
I am 19 years old and I have an eating disorder.
Two weeks ago I was admitted to hospital for an overdose and for self-harm. My normal weight before the eating disorder was 73kgs but now I range between 59-62kg (which is on the brink of unhealthy for my height).
Between the ages of 8-12 I was continuously sexually abused and when I was 12 I was taken from my house by child protective services because of a FALSE allegation against one of the male family members in my family.
Since that night I was forced to live away from home. Luckily I was allowed to lie with […]
So i know i posted something but heres something else.
If you ever need someone ill be here. Ill help you through anything. You just have to leave a comment and ill give you any kind of advice you need. Ill help no matter what. Ive gone through family abuse verbally mentally and physically. Ive gone through bullying still am. Ive gone through abusive relationships. Ive gone trough drug abuse and drinking. Ive gone through losing friends from suicide and getting killed in front of me by other people. Ive lost family from suicide. Ive gone almost everything and im only 16 others start early or […]
So me and my dad don’t get along very well…..we never have. I love him and he loves me but unfortunately I inherited too many of my mom’s genes……too many for him I guess. We’ve never really had time to bond, especially not in a family of 7 or what once used to be a family of 7……Don’t worry, nobody died. My parents just got divorced a couple years back that’s all. But anyways the point is me and my father are 2 completely different people. Sure I’ve got some of his genes in me but not enough to show. I’m a really calm, easygoing […]
I was named after my father, but have always been called by my middle name, Jay. I am the youngest of 3 children born to Walter and Jackie Hale in 1955. I was raised on the road as my father worked for a major construction firm building pipelines all over the country (and world). I have driven through or set foot in all 50 states and have lived in Canada. I was closest to my sister and mother. My brother and I might just as well have been the Hatfields and McCoys. My father and I never really connected. Mom and I were so alike in […]
Off to the Wacky Shack in an hour, good bye to all you beauts and thank you!
by Shootyhoops
written by Shootyhoops
Pretty soon i’m gonna get sent from my doc’s office to a “long term intensive care unit”. Looked it up and it seems like the loony bin which I guess is where I belong. Guess I should explain why I am in this predicament. Two weeks ago I got home from a party where some things had gone badly, read the posts here of course looking for comfort that never comes, as we all do. After reading it was about 4 in the morning so I just figured now is as good a time as any and I slit my wrists (heavily fucked up on […]
so I’m gonna do it tonight but I feel like I’m being selfish to my family?? The whole town knowing and friends family but should I care cuss I’ll b dead or am I trying to find an excuse out????
Looking around at friend’s and family I see a cycle, one I don’t want it makes me depressed. Everyone grows up and lives in cookie cutter homes has kids and slaps on a smile. I don’t want that, I don’t want to get sucked into society’s vortex. I want to be a nurse and work all the time. I feel like since i’m girl my family has the same expectations, grow up, get married, kids. I just want my cat and me, and to help people. I don’t want anyone’s expectations. I feel like i’m a burden to my boyfriend, a disappointment to my family. […]
Why am I so mean? Hm, let’s revisit that topic again, friends; I don’t know. I don’t know why I can be so nice and friendly one second, only to turn around and state things that I hate about you. I don’t know why my natural instincts are to push people away and to be alone.
I’m strong? Well, maybe I am. I don’t get too sensitive about seemingly “hurtful” things anymore. I push through problems and life like I was built to.
Why am I like this? Maybe it’s because I dislike life in general. Not because I’m an “attention-seeking little girl” as I’ve […]
I feel people get hung up on the reasoning for killing yourself more than the lack of desire to live. When you look at it that way, then you can appreciate the motive.
Where else in life, outside of work and certain family dynamics, are you forced to do something you’re obviously not wanting to continue? Everything has an exit door, life isn’t any different.
is so important. You have to appreciate what you have and be thankful. And being/ feeling appreciated makes a life worth living. Usually it is the family and very close friends who appreciate you and who show you that need you and love you and will always be there for you.
In my case – since I wouldnt put any of my friends in this category – it has always been family that made my life somehow worth living. I would even call them the only reason why I am still alive. During the last few weeks I started to realize something though, and I have […]
You keep saying that you want a relationship with me and Jordi, but the thing is you ruined your relationship with us when you put Jodie before us.
You say that it kills you to not have a relationship with us but how do you think it makes us feel to know that we never have/ will be Daddy’s little princess.
You once said you would do anything for us, but you forget that it was your decision to marry her that made it that you lost us.
If you didn’t let her keep trying to weave her way into our relationship then you might […]
We are all put on the earth for something. Why give up now? Yes, your weak, you got fired, you hate your job, your significant other left you, your family doesnt listen to you, you get bullied, you arent good enough, etc…But does that mean give up? Today? Right now? No. You wake up with a positive attitude, Â say I am going to be strong if your weak, Put on your best outfit and find a job if you lost yours, Go to work and kill them with kindness if you hate it, say Fuck That ***** if your partner left you , if your […]
Depression is not a heavy dissatisfaction with life. It is not a physiological cry for help. It is not an extreme form of sadness. Depression is the result of losing a beloved aspect of one’s life. Whether it’s one’s loved one, or a prized possession, or a concept… the loss of that which is loved causes the depression.
Our identities only fully exist in the hearts of those who care for us. We exist in our own bodies, but who we are is what we place in the consciousnesses of our dearest friends and family. Losing someone that important–or even losing something that important–feels like […]