Tag:

Fear

Trapped.

by Shimmer 5/25/2014

written by Shimmer

This is my depression story. The following is a shortened version of my journals. I was 13 years old when I wrote them.

Journal 2013
On march 2, 2013 I decided to “get better” I don’t know hep else to put it xD
on March 3rd, 2013 I told my mum about the (kinda) cutting but not the suicidal thoughts
4th of March: “I am not happy nor sad right now, I feel almost detached from everything” “I am happy for Nicole (she was my best friend in 7-8th grade) but it feels like everyone is moving on while I’m left behind…I feel invisible, a […]

5/25/2014 1 comment

tears, fears, urges and ramblings

by tylar 5/25/2014

written by tylar

Its hard when you don’t really have anyone to turn to, it can be a lonely existence

Over the last year, I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut when I’m around the people in my life, because I know they are no longer interested in what I have to say, or how messed up I feel, but I guess I can’t blame them, but the one thing that makes me angry is when they say ‘I know how you feel’ or ‘I’ve been through the same thing’ its not a competition but if each person suffered the same, one treatment would work for everyone

Lately I’ve formed […]

5/25/2014 3 comments

invisable

by DepressedGirl 5/25/2014

written by DepressedGirl

i told you i couldn’t hang out, not that i didn’t want to. You wanted to party, i wanted to die. You thought i was happy and so did i. but little did we know happy wasn’t for me. i wanted to cry. i wanted to die. there was always something in me asking me why. i didn’t know what to say but then i realized that it was everything about me. My hair, my eyes, my legs, arms, my stomach, my chest, back, feet, my hands. It was the way i talked, the way i walked. i never thought i was good enough. i […]

5/25/2014 1 comment

I’m here <3

by LovelyDaze 5/22/2014

written by LovelyDaze

Hello all,

I’ve never posted on this site before, but I felt the need to make an account and make one. Â To all that is reading this; to all that feels like no one is there; to all that has contemplated life over and over again and feels the need to end things; to anyone that just needs to share their feelings to… I’m here. Â I have felt what rock bottom feels like and I have been in and out of depression, contemplating suicide a few times in my life. Â I will keep this short and sweet: Â the pain may seem never-ending, but it eventually DOES […]

5/22/2014 2 comments

Live.

by Jane Heperi 5/21/2014

written by Jane Heperi

I know what you’re thinking. ‘It’s another girl trying to stop us from thinking about suicide’. ‘Nothing she’s going to say is going to stop me’. You’re right. There is nothing I can say or do to stop you from this. I don’t know what you’ve all been through; I definitely have no right to tell you that you shouldn’t commit suicide. But what I can tell you is that you’re not crazy. You’re not exaggerating. But most of all, you’re not alone. You’re probably thinking, ‘I’ve heard all this, there’s no point, she doesn’t understand’. You’re right, I don’t understand. But there is something […]

5/21/2014 6 comments

Raw In Sect – Cutting My Skin

by Scarred 5/12/2014

written by Scarred

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g-FcVpg52c

I feared what I love and became what I hate
To settle down the score, I punished me
Young, I started to relate to every inch of misery
Now I’m going to sit back and watch me drown within

Forced myself to fail my father
So called rage has rotten me
Could reach for highs and uppers but still the fool
Down in the gutter embracing gloom

I threw fiction away just to realize there was nothing left
Enlightened by sin
I feel so alive cutting my skin

I don’t know why it takes so long
Just to find where I come from
I’m sinking way too deep […]

5/12/2014 0 comment

Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??

by niki 5/9/2014

written by niki

I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!

Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…

does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]

5/9/2014 10 comments

I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, boring & mundane, nothing that interesting!

by niki 5/1/2014

written by niki

I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!

the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.

maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!

with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]

5/1/2014 7 comments

Logic Of My Friends…. What?

by InvisibleGirl 4/24/2014

written by InvisibleGirl

Okay so this has been bugging me for a while now…. Â I don’t really have people to talk to about it so I guess this is my best place to get it out.

When I was in elementary school I was exactly the same as I am now, passive aggressive though it was probably worse back then. Â I didn’t talk to anyone and I was super shy. Â Around third grade I ended up befriending this girl, lets call her L. Â So L ended up becoming my best friend. Â But around the end of fifth grade she started ignoring me. Â She ignored me for the rest […]

4/24/2014 1 comment

Bus Stop

by DeathFinalFrontier 4/21/2014

written by DeathFinalFrontier

I sat down on the bench and looked up at the sky.

A cloud moved in front of the sun to provide some shade and cool an otherwise warm day. A couple birds passed overhead, and a light breeze ruffled the leaves of the nearby trees.

I was waiting for the bus to arrive. I had picked this bus route specifically. It promised to arrive at the destination quickly, although it might be a bit of an uncomfortable trip. I did my research thoroughly, and this was the best route I could find. I had been planning this trip for years, perhaps a few too many. The […]

4/21/2014 9 comments

I hate this boring, bored reality / real life / real world, I hate this life, this LIMITED world, and I hate people/humans ..!!

by niki 4/17/2014

written by niki

Movies, books, video games, novels, comics, anime/manga, etc etc, basically human’s IMAGINATIONS is a hundred times FAR much more interesting than this very LIMITING reality / real-world / real-life here in this world!

and what’s even worse is that most (about 90%) of humans / people I meet & know everyday are mostly stupid, shallow, superficial, mundane/boring, money and profits and image driven only, ignorant,.. mostly human beings especially today these days are much more bad & hopeless ..!!
(there are -thankfully/luckily?- only FEW humans/people that I like, eg: the very creative/imaginative & ‘other-worldly’ artists who created/made all those awesome fantasy, sci-fi stories, novels, books, […]

4/17/2014 7 comments

3 years later

by Marissa Kresge 4/17/2014

written by Marissa Kresge

It’s been 3 years since i last made a post on here about my depression. Let’s just say I’m the happiest I’ve really ever been. I coped with my depression by exercising and being healthy, doing so I lost 20 pounds in the process which I am happy about. When year 10 of school started I decided I would try something risky and I did. I tried out for the foreign exchange program to go overseas. With the risky decision I succeeded and am now going to Germany in July. And this is all because I found a way to cope with my depression and […]

4/17/2014 2 comments

by TheImmortalYoshi 3/31/2014

written by TheImmortalYoshi

Hey everyone..I haven’t posted in a while..So yeah..I found out along with my severe depression and anxiety..I’m bipolar and they can’t even diagnose what stage because of how fast my mood changes. Plus I am on the boarder line of having a personality disorder like split personalities. So I am on mood stabilizers and anxiety meds..I guess they kinda help, they just make me really sleepy is all I know..I also found out that I’m pretty much disabled from having all my problems with my mind and my nerves and all this other stuff so that is just great, I found that out today..I also […]

3/31/2014 0 comment

Fear.

by purplepain 3/31/2014

written by purplepain

I think I’m on the verge of having an anxiety attack right now, I need to write this down to calm my nerves.
Just when I think things are going okay, everything goes downhill somehow. My classes are going all wrong, I can’t concentrate on my studies, I’m scared of even walking in the streets, I feel watched, observed, I feel inferior to those and everything around me, though I know I’m not.
A few months ago I stopped speaking to a “friend” of mine after she threw another of her little stupid tantrums on me, we’re 18 years old, I’m not a little girl […]

3/31/2014 3 comments

My suicide note.

by kansaswasalive 3/30/2014

written by kansaswasalive

I dont know what to do anymore. I feel as if walls are caving in on me. People hate me. And you know what? I hate me too. People that are around me think I have the perfect life. Im a cheerleader. I make good grades. I make everyone happy. Nothing can be wrong with me! But there is something wrong with me. I feel as if everyone around me hates me. Im not mad at them for that. I dont know what to do anymore. Im just done.

3/30/2014 1 comment

Idk Anymore

by imonlyhuman 3/16/2014

written by imonlyhuman

So basically this is my first post and itâ€™s going to be shitty sorry.

â€¦buuut yeah, my name is Brianna and honestly, I donâ€™t want to be living here on this bullshit planet any longer. Iâ€™m tired of getting judged by the music IÂ listento, the clothes I wear, what I look like the next day, and so forth. My life to me is honestly completely useless. I wake up everyday feeling like a mistake, and that I shouldâ€™ve never been born. Iâ€™ve been called names like slut, emo, ****, *****, and been told that no one likes me, Iâ€™m depressed all the time, I […]

3/16/2014 4 comments

Why not?

by smushpot 3/6/2014

written by smushpot

Hello I am very new to this site but I really just needed somewhere to vent. I have been thinking about suicide since I was about 10 and I would always make myself not contemplate it to grate lengths by asking myself how I would feel if a family member or loved one killed themselves, but recently I honest to god don’t think I would care. I hate my friends and I often think about killing them myself… and for my family, I really just don’t care about them anymore. I’m so emotionally exhausted I will have days where I just can’t even get out […]

3/6/2014 2 comments

translate?

by givin' up? 3/6/2014

written by givin' up?

Today at photography class something weird happened, the teacher made us close our eyes and relax.. the she asked us to imagine the things she said: “imagine your walking ,peace and calm, through valley.. you”re walking to a tree, the only one there… your sitting gown the tree until you see a shadow, a white one. You stand up and noticed that the shadow wants you to follow it… you get close to the shadow and you take it hand and..” then she continue but i couldn’t. As everybody saw a white and friendly shadow.. I saw a shadow that terrified me to a point […]

3/6/2014 2 comments

Why?

by H0peless Wanderer 2/27/2014

written by H0peless Wanderer

I’m not sure what I really expect anymore.
A couple months back, September to be specific, I found myself in a hole. You know it, the black abyss that you stare at day in and day out. The one that never seems to end. I had been looking into, getting lost in the darkness for too long. Years have past since I can actually remember being happy for a full 24hrs. It seems so surreal to even imagine I used to have fun.
Anyways, I tried to take my life. I really tried… pills, alcohol, the whole deal. Fortunately or unfortunately ( I haven’t decided […]

2/27/2014 2 comments

Proverbial Slap

by FindingSalvation 2/25/2014

written by FindingSalvation

I had a friend. Her cell phone stopped working. I couldn’t reach her any other way but through the computer. She lived too far away for me to see in person. She would disappear for months at a time after mentioning how she was feeling down and depressed. I couldn’t take the constant worrying about her. So, in one of those rare occasions when she was actually around, I snapped at her a bit. I let her know how much I worried and how much it hurt, trying to get in contact with her and then- Nothing. I guess she must have understood for a […]

2/25/2014 4 comments

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