They add up, one on top of another. Dirty house, little free time. Debts that you can never seem to get started on. Between two jobs, make too little. Things breaking down. Costly repairs. Faraway dreams that never gain traction. Faraway friends. Lover growing distant. Nagging mother. Fear of loneliness. Fear of other people. An inability to face the past or the future; maladjusted in the present. Knots everywhere – in my mind, my relationships, my soul. Can’t cleanse it. Feel like roadkill.
Tag:
feel
There may come times when we are lost
It will make us want to break free at any cost
There may comes times when life is sad
It makes everything look and feel bad
But even in all this pain and chaos
There is still some hope in all of us
It gives us the will and strength to live
Even when we feel life has nothing to give
We feel fear, we feel pain
It can make us go insane
It can make us do things we think that might be right
Endless tormenting us with nightmares at night
We feel all is […]
Can’t take feeling this anymore. Unacceptable. Gotta change something. Do something.
So, what’s holding me back from living a worthwhile life?
Well, superficially, there’s all the minor health issues. Just enough to make me uncomfortable most of the time, without actually being severe enough to deserve medical attention (not that most of them are curable anyway.) Either my skin problems are flaring up. Or my stomach problems. Or my allergies. Or my insomnia. Or my back problems. The combination means I never feel well.
On top of that, there’s all the little embarrassing physical inadequacies (both real and perceived.) Because I need more reasons to feel inferior.
But let’s put […]
Well today is another day and I still feel just as bad. No day is getting easier
You wake up in the morning and the first breath you take you can feel the sadness fill your lungs. You can feel yourself gasp for air as it completely consumes you. Leaving you just laying there praying you can make it one more day. One day without the thought, sadness, or confusion of why you belong on this earth. What is my purpose?
I always have dreams about a friend who killed him self when he was on lsd. He took it and walked onto the interstate and ran in front of a car and died later in the hospital . We all knew he committed suicide . He always told us he wouldn’t live to see 21 but none of us knew he was depressed . But in my dreams he’s always giving me life talks and cheering me up . I really feel like it has a meaning. I really think he’s visiting me in a way .
Started with a new psychiatrist recently. When I told her I couldn’t stop thinking about killing myself she immediately started me on anti-psychotics. I’ve never been on them before, and I have to say I do feel a little better. And I couldn’t get what I needed for my plan anyway, so the plan is on hold. For now. We’ll see how long this medicine works.
Dreams better than reality? Why Dream is better than reality? Why is Dreams better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
As I am getting close to another decade milestone, one I hoped I never reached, I feel like giving up.
I don’t feel sad. I just feel empty. As from many years ago, I have come a long way from the severe depression I used to have. (http://suicideproject.org/2009/12/perfect-life/)
I know what it is like to hate living life every second.
I don’t feel that way anymore.
I want to love people more who care about me, and check up on me. I want to have more sympathy for those people and their hard times.
But I’m like the Benedict Cumberbatch Sherlock. He doesn’t care about […]
Hello everyone. I am new to this site. I wanted to share my views on suicide, as I feel very uncomfortable discussing this kind of thing with people I know in real life. I don’t want them to worry about me. I also don’t want them to try preventing anything that might prevent me from doing the ultimate deed. I felt I needed to at least share some of my views with others, so here I am now.
I guess I should tell a bit about myself. I am a 23-year old male nihilist, that is someone who believes there to be no inherent objective value […]
I’m a doll. A toy. I am not alive. I have no emotions. I feel nothing. I am nothing.
If I keep telling this to myself, I wonder, will I finally stop hurting? Will I finally stop being so sensitive? If I keep telling this to myself, will I eventually believe it? Will it become true?
When will it end? Can’t I just become nothing? Can I not just be empty?
I don’t want to feel pain, or sorrow, or disappointment. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to feel lonely anymore. I don’t want to feel joy and happiness and excitement, when it just ends […]
Why do i feel so alone. Alone in my opinion and views and alone in my problems. 3 years i have felt this way, been on all kinds of medications yet nothing helps i am just broken inside. i have such little faith in this poisoned deceitful world we live. everyday i lie to people tell them i’m OK, tell my psychologist and psychiatrist the many many many of them that i don’t think about death, when everyday its all i do. death cannot be any worse than this bubbling cauldron of pus. I have been hurt to great extremes by s many people – […]
I really feel the need to talk about this. I’m in tears right now because I’ve just realized a lot .
This world has fallen apart, and it’s getting worse…
I think humans have lost what life is really meant to be.
What have we done to ourselves ?
lemme emphasize better:
So since I was born I was taught that I needed to be smart , so I could get a good job one day to make lots of money , so I could have kids and feed them, then some day I would die .
everything revolves around economy . All we do is work work work! It’s one […]
Her long body made an indent upon the small bits of clover and grasses as she propped herself up on her elbows. What in the actual fuck is she going to write about today? All her brain is shooting are blanks, and her fingers feel awkward as they hit each computer key. It’s like trying to thread a tree trunk through the eye of a needle. “O” by Coldplay blares into her ears as her brain desperately tries to make something beautiful, something stunning, just something… But that’s the thing about making something beautiful. You cannot force it. Beauty comes from patience and time and […]
Its funny, because I don’t even feel it coming on. But then, within a week, it has become me, stripped away all of my qualities and replaced it with a boiling, putrid rage. My parents physically repulse me. I see people only as opportunities, for my own gain, without feeling or empathy.
Hello,
Ill start this post off by descriping what type of person I am. Physically fit person who never judges and always forgive. Always going out of my way (physically & emotionaly) to see people improve in there current situation. I act as a theorpist to people who need someone to talk too, giving them good advice making them feel like they have a chance. I would say im that person you would always smile at, never fear. Extremly logical, always keeping my self in a realistic and calm state of mind. With every person meet I would gain […]
Oh how I love manic episodes. You feel as though your soul is going to crawl through your pores. Everything you see is in HD, and if you drop something it’s as if you’ve dropped an atomic bomb on your toes. Yay bipolar
Just a rant. Sorry it’s so long. Read it if you want.
I think it’s time for me to go. I cant take this. Everything I do. Every single thing I do. Is wrong. I’m really tired. I really.feel like I don’t belong anywhere. And that feeling is trapping. And I hate feeling trapped. I can’t trust anyone. I’m always afraid of what everyone thinks of me. I’m tired of being judged. I always feel like I’m being.judged. it’s time for me to go. This whole “staying positive ” bullshit just isn’t for me. I’m feeling sick. Like I want to break down. […]
Well, hello again. Not completely sure what I want to say to be honest. I guess, firstly, thank you to those who read my last post, and to those who commented, I’m sorry I didn’t reply to any of you. I wanted to but I didn’t feel up to it for some reason. Anyway, yet again I have something I would like to share.
So, my parents went away on some trip for 4 days. My youngest brother and I got to stay home alone, whilst my other brother went to our grandparents. Anyway, my little brother (let’s call him John for now) and I had […]