I feel like I just need to scream. I need to just scream and just keep screaming to get all these feelings out. I just want to be happy. After all my years of dealing with depression I’ve never wanted to be off this earth as much ad I do now. You’d think I have a good life, I work a lot, have honors and ap classes in school. But everything’s fake. I’m so fake. I wake up for school and put on a smile.I am abused. I’m a senior in highschool and Im being mentally abused by my freshman brother. I have this personality […]
I do but then again I couldn’t care less. There’s just so much pain behind the fake smile that I put on my face every morning in order to “fit in.” I’m just tired, can someone come and shoot me in the head? I don’t deserve to live anyways, I want to die.
there are an awful lot of stories on this site, but every story is different right? the base feelings of despair are mixed into all of them, but how you came to be there and what you plan to do is always different. most of us are suicidal, hence the name “the suicide project” i suppose. i am no exception. but maybe it’s time i told the whole story of how i came to be here and what i plan to do.
my story is not filled with rape or abuse or anything like that. ive never been the loner at the back of the […]
You
know when u really trusted someone and then they say they trust you and all of
a sudden they stop talking to you because of someone else. Honestly I don’t
know what to do anymore. Im getting attacked left, right and center, by this
girl. I trusted him with things that I would never trust anyone with. He played
with my heart and said he was only talking to her because he was trying to be
the good mate. Now I feel like I was used just for his pleasure.but now I feel
down because I really found out who it was attacking me. […]
I was born into this world because they wanted me.
They dont need me anymore.
To that little girl, smiling from ear to ear, with no worries on her mind and no demons in her head? Where’s the girl whose smile would light up a room, who laughed like there was no tomorrow, who would spend hours jumping in the rain, where’s the girl who enjoyed life?
What happened to me, what’s wrong with me? Now I am waiting to die, every second of every day just waiting. I’ve been waiting for 4 years now, when will it finally come to an end?
“When you grow up, your heart dies.”-The Breakfast Club.
It took all i had to make this. I couldn’t be any more proud. Days are still hard but I’m happy I reached this point.
I don’t really know what else i can do anymore. Cameron died almost exactly a year ago (September 8 2013) and I am STILL not over it. I’ve gone to all the groups, I’ve been hospitalized for PTSD, I’ve got a new boyfriend who treats me like gold, I go out, I don’t talk about it all the time anymore. What else can I do to make it feel better.
The thing you have to know is Cameron and I were very much in love but […]
Is not that i hate life , or that I hate living, not that I want to kill myself.
I mean I’ve thought of it and I’ve tried it, but I just can’t.
There’s something I just can’t take out of my mind, I really don’t understand the meaning of all that. I just don’t know what to do sometimes, I am lost, but not sure why. I mean, I’m good at school, I love my career. I have friends, but to be honest, I don’t share thoughts or feelings about this, ‘how I feel’ with them, not even with my family, not even with […]
I promised myself I would kill myself before I finish high school (I’m in 9th grade) but I keep on postponing it…sometimes I wish I had enough courage to do it but I don’t want to die alone…I hate it when someone asks me why I want to kill myself… I can’t describe my feelings with words someone would have to feel what I feel to understand…everyday is a struggle to keep myself together , sometimes I feel so alone and unwanted…everyday I wake up I just want to crawl in a hole and die…
I also feel so stressed out when I go to school and it doesn’t make […]
Today I’m going to kill myself. Â I’m going to finish my day at work and when I’m done, I’m going to kill myself. Â I’m going to take the bottle of muscle relaxers and drink the bottle of wine and die in the spot that the homeless man sleeps when he’s drunk. Â When they take my body, they will have to clean the area and that will be good for him.
Alex will be so sad but she will write great songs about her feelings and go on to enjoy lots more success. Â She will meet someone new that will love her better than me. Â Her life […]
I haven’t been on here in months and I won’t deny that things have actually gotten much worse. I mean one minute I’m saying “I got this, I can make it” and the next I’m saying “okay I’ll just end it all on my 21st birthday.” My feelings go back and fourth. And now it’s just all coming back. My plan was to end it all on my 21st. To see if things ever get better. I realize that im still young, and all that, but some people just weren’t meant for life. Sometimes I feel bad because I wasn’t put through so much torture […]
I have so many thoughts in my head right now that I can feel the weight of them pushing me down. There is so much going on at one time in my life right now that I don’t know how to sort it all out or how to even begin to deal with it. First there is all my friends leaving; I knew this was coming but for some reason in my sick and twisted world I had made myself believe that I had so much time to say goodbye and that summer was just going to last forever and no one was really going […]
Has anyone ever kept years worth of emotion bottled up to the point where you’re afraid to release it anymore? to the point that you feel every ounce of rage you can muster suddenly flare whenever the slightest thing irritates you?
This is my third post. It’s been a couple weeks since my last and I’ve gotten a bit better; my first two posts would’ve persuaded any psychiatrist I was ready and willing to commit suicide. I’ve gotten better. Things have started looking up a bit. But that pain still lingers. And with it, an anger I can’t even begin to describe. All my life I’ve […]
It’s always the same.
The feelings of being lost, worthless; having no purpose in whatever life I’m trying to create. Trying to feel alive again. Begging to feel happy even just content. Why must everything feel so cold and dark? When did my view become like this?
My skin holds my confusion, pain and frustration. Every notch on it reminds me of the lost soul I am. Yet it makes me feel like I can be found. Is that even possible? So many question but they cannot be answered.
I need a release, to feel like I am here; that I have emotions. My smiles never hold true, […]
these feelings, these horrible feelings, they haunt me, taunt me, scream do it, its ok, take more, take em all, let go, it’ll be ok, everything gets better when you’re gone. i loved her she was mine, only mine i thought she loved me but apparent not on the night she tried to take her own, i love her still do, the place they took her changed her, she left me for another and they look happy in love almost and it crushes me everyday, i hate this, i hate it all,these feelings are ridiculous, why must they be i want them gone, as well […]
Can’t take it!! I feel like a constant failure all the time, everybody tells me that I’m great, that I’m awesome, brilliant, smart… My family loves me, my brother cares more about me that I do, my friends always bring me back up, but I just had lost it…
I suffer from anxiety and depression, I went to therapy when I used to cry every single time at any hour the second I got up my bed, it helped a little, but to be honest I never told her my truth feelings, then things at home got bad, my thoughts about family went from ‘amazing’ […]
ok so first and foremost im going to tell you a little story about my life.when i was in my elementary years i was being bullied by everyone i always feel like nobody loves me and i know it’s not just a feeling i know that is real.everyone said that i stink i have body odor,bad breath and a loser and other stuffs that can hurt my feelings i was always so emotional way back my youth and now that i am 17 i am contemplating about my childhood,reminiscing that eventually i figured out that i never really had one.and now that i’ve grown it’s […]
DON’T YOU DARE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJxgrSCZJ1s
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother, father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts […]