I’m 23 years old. Female. Hispanic. I’ve always had suicidal thoughts for as long as I could remember. I know it first started when I was 12. Broke a pocket mirror in my mom’s car and tried to cut myself with the broken pieces. I remember taking a sewing class in school and I would pierce the needle in a pinch of the skin on my left forearm. After a while it didn’t hurt anymore. Being a teenage girl I understand my reasons for not feeling a ton of pain with my self inflicting pain. I was a constant victim of bullying throughout my entire […]
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feels
I want to fly off the side of one of these beautiful mountains cause Neverland lies at the bottom and for a brief moment I’ll remember what it feels like to be free.
I haven’t been around here lately… I haven’t had much to say… Not sure what to say.
Life is complicated as fuck! Bad things seem to happen but my mind won’t hold on to them like they use to. Little things don’t seem to bother me. Good things are happening, but it also feels like a big void. It’s almost as if I had some big plans but suddenly I can’t remember what they were. And I feel the uncertainty of not knowing if I should care or not. I’ve been thinking about killing myself lately, but not out of sadness…almost as if my mind […]
Sometimes I have off days but tonight I feel a surge of energy and hope. Every day is a blank canvas to rejuvenate your life, edit your story. I have an agenda for tomorrow which probably contributes to this new-found optimism. I’ve forgotten how rewarding it feels to set goals, actually work towards them, and obtain results. The most crippling thing I can do to myself is sit at home and give in to lazy indulgences. I’ve been putting off my responsibilities for far too long.
I’ll start my day with a cardio workout in the morning. I’ll reply to my little Brother’s email from BBBS. I’ll start […]
so today im not shure good day yes frat with sreess
me and mum fell out over nothing i cut badly im worry about my gf cheeting on me and not talking to me and why is she not talking to me i take £5 and gtfo find a frend to bring me up met a girl robyn shes nice iv helped her befor she was going to this party that i had beentold by mum not to go to i think to my self for a secions you whent to jamaca so cal and colarado (sorry to any ameracans for buchering names) and all befor […]
The truth is she’s a mess. Once so well put together. Once was that happy girl that smiled twenty four- seven. The girl that had great friends and was nice to everyone. She was complete with joy. That girl faded. That girl doesn’t exist anymore. A gloomy depressed girl now exists. Battling for her life every day. Battling with life. She went from going out with friends to staying up all night crying. She shut down. No words spoken. But she woke up the next day and painted that smile on her face. Look in her eyes and you will see a world filled with […]
I don’t form connections with people easily and when it rarely happens the other person runs a mile because I don’t deal well with it. But this time with this one person she didn’t turn her back on me. She listens to what I say for the most part, doesn’t just ignore me like everyone else did and makes me feel like I exist and matter.
I haven’t been coping very well with living lately. We work together in a high pressure environment which has me stressed out for most of time. And the past few days we’ve been arguing which I NEVER do with anyone. […]
i feel so alone.everything i do feels wrong the only thing that helps is to sleep and drink.to be honest i just want to sleep,drink,and have sex.i should be dead i deserve to be dead but only the good die young,i guess ill be loving forever.please help
Everyday at work I come here instead of doing what I should. i love to help people, I really do. I think that we all deserve kindness and patience and love and respect but don’t give it to each other. Life seems shitty.
I’m living with someone who use to be one of my best friends and someone who I thought was my friend. The former BF slept with someone I was sleeping with. It makes me angry yes, but what makes it terrible is that we had a conversation about their desire for each other where I communicated I would be uncomfortable with them sleeping […]
I feel like I’m only attractive for mosquitos, right now. I’ve been having a terrible day. But who cares ? Really. Nobody does. When I don’t have any specific drama to tell to people, I have no right to be depressed. I probably invent myself a mental illness just to get attention. Yeah. Why not.
I’m kinda drunk. I know it’s dumb. I don’t even like to drink. It a self-destructive pattern. I wanna be damaged enough so people will say, “right yeah, I understand why you would give up, I would too. “
lol. Like it’s possible. People are all liars and they try to make us […]
Certainly not the spiritual kind, just an emotionally and physically abusive, narcissistic and controlling human woman.
It feels like only one of us will make it out of this war alive. On nights like tonight I often think about taking the situation into my own hands and exiting this war on my own terms. I’m tired and I’m dreary.
Then I’m reminded that I fight back harder every single time. Tonight, when physical abuse came at me, I did not allow it. I fought back, I defended myself physically. That was my first time.
There must be something in that, I wouldn’t be fighting so hard if I […]
I want to die. No, I want to be brutally And painfully tortured and murdered. This is how much I hate myself. Everyone else pretty much feels the same way and there’s a reason for it. I’m a completely unlikable person. A mess that could never be loved, pity is not even reserved for people like me. I’ve even turned the person I love more than anything in the world, my best friend, my ally, my partner, completely against me. He can’t even summon up any type of positive feeling for me. I feel so lost, I don’t even know how I’m still alive. He […]
“God, did you see Susan today? I swear, that woman should get a clue when it comes to makeup.”
“Lol, u kno she ratchet asf. Dat ***** is FUGLY.”
“I’m tired of seeing all these homo-faggots around here. It’s a sickness, I tell you.”
“She wears black all the time, doesn’t talk to anyone, and looks like a *****. I bet she’s a satan-worshipper.”
“Look at how fat he is! And that face…..disgusting. I’ll get him Proactiv for his birthday.”
“Those damn rag-heads in the Mid-West worshipping Muhammad. God’ll take care of them.”
“Non-believers are so stupid.”
How do these statements make you feel? For anyone reading, you probably recalled a time […]
Been here many times talked back by Samaritans which is no use to me, I’m bad to the bone don’t need anyone to tell me I can be forgiven , if I can’t it don’t matter , disabled now after always working and have a body that Wong work so the man part of me is no use anymore my wife says she love me but you can see the desire and attractive ness has gone, the odd time things work she don’t wanna know, still at least this post should give you a good laugh I’m ridiculed all the time anyway , so all […]
I am tired of being an incest survivor with no family or partner
Watching myself age alone
Feeling helpless and trapped
So much pain, no God to care, no man to care,
Nothing but SHIT
Worst of the worst
Never did drugs either or drank to excess
The world is nothing but PAIN
My heart feels like it is bleeding inside and out
Yes, I want to die, all the time
I am just tired of it all now
Life is hell with ptsd
HELL
Forgive me Lord
Oh yes, religion if hell too and the guilt
All
I don’t know why I continue living this pointless existence. I’m an idiot, nobody gives a shit about me if anything they hate me, and things will never change. I went through all of my previous facebook posts and conversations and I feel like everything I’ve said is just so fucking stupid and judging my the number of likes (1-4 max) everyone else feels the same way. This is the 3rd or 4th time I’ve been seriously suicidal and now I don’t see the point of taking medication to hide my idiocy from myself, I’m never going to have a worthwhile life. It’s only fear […]
I’m new to this so I don’t really know how to start out but I guess I will try my best. All my life I’ve delt with hardships but who hasn’t? My parent were divorced when I was 6, my father was a drunk, my mother was a partier. An when they decided to split it wasn’t peaceful. They didn’t care about us kids they just cared about the money that came with the kids. And this is still going on till this day, I’m almost 22 now. It’s hard going through life knowing money is always more important than your life. And I’ve had […]
I feel like I don’t want to keep on trying anymore, it’s hard to explain but I feel like I have finally achieved everything I’ve ever wanted and still I don’t get any joy from it. I still have some things that I have to “fight for” but I already know that when I finally get them I wont feel anybetter than now.
It feels like even when I got what I wanted (to have friends, and family and succeed in what I do) nothing is real, I feel like it’s all in my mind, I don’t think anybody actually loves me or cares about me. […]
When you sort things out, when you sort your life, when you think this time it’s going to be alright, you say: you made it!; something awful happens. It throws you out of your course and i know these things happen daily. I just can’t stand when someone thinks you don’t care, when they think it is easy.
I am not making any sense but i am a little bit teary so i can’t find the words to describe how i feel. It’s always thinking about the future that makes me sad. I reached an age in which it is not yet too late to change […]
Growing up i believed that if i didn’t have enough i could work harder
if i wasn’t smart enough i could work harder
if i wasn’t pretty enough …work harder
if i wasn’t talented, i just had to work harder
When i was younger i believed that if i work hard enough my effort would pay off, that makes sense. But this world isn’t about making sense, instead of being awarded for my effort i had to confront reality.
Working hard is tiring and all those who have intelligence, looks, and talent who never had to work as hard don’t know how it feels to try so […]