Tag:
Few Days
I’m home alone, the only thing I can hear is the clocks ticking and my heart beating. that’s not entirely true, I hear my thoughts. my awful thoughts that tell me that I’ve had enough. the thing is I’m scared to give in. I’m scared to give up.
I was watching a movie with my family the other night, and I remember what one of the characters said to another, “Fear is what keeps us alive” right about now, I’m assuming that’s true. that’s the only thing keeping me alive. I want to die, but I’m afraid of what will happen to everyone else. leaving behind […]
Counting down the months.. now just shy of two months before my death… ive been planning all year.. sometime in January il be gone, its so nice to pick the day/month or even tme we choose to end our lives… well its almost here and i think it will be FUN to die… im accuallay looking forwrd to it, il post more the next few days
A few days ago i was in choir when my directer told us to shut our eyes and think of something sad. So we all shut our eyes and suddenly a sad memory popped into my head. This is what i thought…
A few years ago there was this really nice family that my family was friends with. There was a Mom a Dad and a little girl named Emmria. The little girls parents would yell some times but not too much. But one day thee were yelling and the mom left. They broke up and the little girl was sad. The dad missed the mom […]
I am extremely unhappy. Whereas a few days ago I had a little bit of hope and miniscule amounts of positive energy, these last 48 hours I have been depleted. My heart has slowed and my body has sunken in.
I am terrified. Today in class I could hardly breathe. I tried to duck out before it started but I ran into the professor. I could barely speak and I was trying not to get sick the whole time. Electric stomach, glass eyes. I had to wait in the building before leaving to go back to my room because I couldn’t handle the idea of people […]
This one’s pretty long, sorry if I bore anyone. I should preface by saying that I’ve been depressed for four years. I was formally diagnosed with major depressive disorder January of this year, but I knew long before. I’ve never had a true friend, anything even close to a relationship (been led on a few dozen times), and I feel alone constantly. Recently my diagnosis was changed to suggest the cause of my pain is ADD. I’m not sure if the doctors are right, but amphetamines are helping a bit lately. This is the story of the last eight months or so, from the first […]
So I guess life is about finding a partner to share your life with, being the partner for somebody and building a life on a relationship, maybe having a family. Sounds nice. Sounds like something I’d like to achieve.
So my life should be about perfect. I just got two A:s so I’m a good student, I live together with my bf and everything seems good.
Let me just say.
Fuck this shit.
Two of his friends came over today. The other one offered me some candy and I said “well… thanks.” What did my bf say? “You don’t have to be such a moodkiller.” Yeah. A moodkiller. And […]
So I consumed alcohol for the first time, for no reason. I’m 14 years old, by the way. For the past few days I have not sense much depression, but mild anxiety. I have not eating that much except being in extreme thirst for the past two days, and today for the first time I had the strong urge to consume a fruity cocktail. (clearly has alcohol) And I’m sort of craving for more, but not going to.
Why is it that I had this sudden urge too? It’s a fruity flavor alcohol as well, and I added it onto my juice…
i am feeling suicidal right now and i feel like i might really end it tonight or mabey just wait a few days to say goodbye and see if this what i want.. i was scared at first because i was scared to die i realize now i am not scared anymore that we are all going to die eventually that we do not live forever but i feel like i have finally accepted that its okay to die and i know how i would die so it would make it less scary <3 can anyone help me right now?
The last five years of my life, atleast since i can remember back till i was about ten, my bother has been abusive to me in forms that over brother/sister fighting…. I have lived with my mother and him my whole life. My mother who is 52 years old has none of him doing this and has not done anything about it. She is very sick and is disabled so she doesn’t make much money. My brother used most of her money on weed and stupid shit. Im still in high school. He’s 19 living with us and has not tried to even look for […]
hia all here to speak about the illness that we all share. i dont believe you are sane or honest if you have not considered suicide. the main reason iv come on here is because in the last few days iv attempted to reach out to many of my acquaintances about life suffering and the torrent of
suicidal thoughts that seem to follow any serious self-contemplation im capable of. Notability i’ve come to the realize that the contemplation of limitations lead to suicidal thoughts even if its just for the duration of one class, being bound to a desk while an innocent teacher attempts to […]
After the little incident, I’ve kind of calmed down. It took me a panic attack and about an hour of biting viciously to calm down. Which sucks. I broke my personal goal of no more biting. :/
I think I’m letting this situation get out of hand. I tore myself up about it and now I just need to let it go. For crap’s sake, it’s college. I don’t understand why I beat myself up over a fucking one night stand. So for a few days, I’ve been recovering from my stupidity and getting back on track with classes. It was going pretty well. Then last […]
I found this website a few days ago when I googled “I want to die”.
I wasn’t looking for something in particular-just some kind of…answer… or help. I’m not sure if I actually want to die or not.
I’ve been reading some posts, but I’ve been afraid to comment on any… I’m extremely afraid of talking to people, especially strangers, even if it is online, but I need to talk about it to someone, or some people, who understand.
I’m horribly, horribly depressed and I’ve felt like this for years. I’ve recently spoken to my doctor about it and he’s put me on medication and referred me to […]
I went to the doctors. They said I most likely have a stomach ulcer from too much smoking and alcohol and pills.
That’s never good. If It bursts well.. I’ll have to get an operation and I could die.
[…]
Although I’ve been feeling better lately (especially last week I was absolutely in a state of frenzy, I was elated to see my friends and everything was amazing for 1 or 2 days) I’ve discovered that my new found ‘betterness’ can be crushed with a few words of discouragement from someone.
A few days ago I stumbled upon a program at my university that offers free counseling if they discover that I suffer from depression.
The thing is that I might not be in a state of true depression right now but I had the symptoms before and felt really horrible. I’m kind of afraid, it took […]
I was doing some reading on Bipolar II, and under the category of “Hypomanic Episodes”, one of the symptoms is “Unrealistic optimism”. I wish I hadn’t read that now. It makes me wonder that this optimism that I’ve held onto so tightly for the past few days now is unrealistic, this dream of finding a job and moving to California.
I don’t really feel like I’m in a “hypomanic episode”. I’ve been there before, I know what they feel like. I don’t have the increased energy or happy go lucky feeling or strange impulses. I’m still struggling every day to make myself get out of bed […]
i’ve just come out of a relationship, and before you all start, that isn’t the reason i’m feeling the way i am. i can deal with not being close to somebody, its the fact that when something goes wrong in my life, i have nobody i can talk to about it? if i tell my mum she just gets the whole family involved, and i don’t want that. all of my friends seem to have turned against me these past few days, and i know break-ups are hard, and it isn’t the end of the whole, but this is so difficult and i can’t express […]
So I made the noose today and hung it in my outside storage. So whenever I’m ready and I feel the urge… I’ve been cutting and purging for the last few days… it seems to help for a moment but not completely. I’ve been in the hospital twice and I go to therapy wkly and am on an antidepressant but I don’t remember a time when my depression and thoughts have honestly been this bad. I dunno how to control my emotions… I’ve been diagnoised with borderlin personality disorder and am very embarressed by what I’m going thru. I dunno if it will be tonite, […]
Hello, my name is Shawna and I’m new here, I just found this website today while looking for some sort of support group. I’ve had been dealing with the effects of depression for around 4 years now, almost 5. Somehow I’ve fought through it that long, but not without having extreme ups and downs, mostly downs. It’s been so long and I’m feeling so tired. I’m a recovering self-harmer, been clean for about 4 months. But I’m having a really really hard time with the urges. I’ve been feeling so sad the past few days, so so sad and angry and just sick and tired […]
i have been feeling very tierd for the past few days…..memories are haunting me…..they are killing me slowly….and making me feel like i am an ignored piece of dried shit sitting at the side of the street……..i feel so tired to even cry…..im remembering everyone who let me down  and gave up on me……i dont know what i have done to deserve this….i am 19 my birthday is next month and ill be 20….im not yet in college i feel like a failure….no body listens…..nobody cares and no body asks…..dad said im cheap….and he also said he doesnt have money for me…..but he does for […]