i dont know how i can go through days anymore the friends i suposily know are all smart goodlookin talented at somethin they always have a girl chattin em up and shit sendin them calls texts while i have barly any girls who would even look at me in the hallway iv left my phone on for few days to see the loser who i really am not one single female texted me or “friend” calld me. i used to be great at sports was startin linebacker got respect from fellow men around me and varsity wrestling and used to be outgoin wouldnt care then […]
Tag:
Few Days
Reached the last straw today. Gonna do some self-immolation on the ex-wife’s lawn in the next few days. I’m going to get so fucked on coke and heroin that I won’t feel it. Just don’t give a shit anymore. So what if it “proves them right.” I’m sick of being homeless and I don’t want to go to jail. I can’t pay her anymore. The bank is dried up. Just going to take my life-long indentured servitude forced upon me by this great country and shove it up the establishment’s ass. They got nothing else to […]
i dont want anyone to kill themselves. not me nether
like i said in a previous post “i dont belong”
wondering what life would be on the other side. lay down all my burdens. i picked up a knife and i cut my wrist so deeply i ended up in the hospital for 3 days. im now not even aloud to handle a butterknife without supervision so to speak. im not suicidal for god’s sake. im tired. if people would let me. i would leave. if people knew how i feel. they would know what i mean.
its like jogging for miles and stop and you have no […]
I’m scared of my mom’s reaction to my scars when I go to see her. I’m leaving in a few days and I’m just wondering if anyone has advice on how to adress this situation?
just a few days ago i came very close to killing myself… ive been in some very dark places lately, my boyfriend broke up with me over text message and ive been very broken down and in a lot of pain lately…its very hard fro me and with my depression and suicide problems i had enough going on so one night i just lost it. my best frienf taylor was at my house to talk me out of it. ive had so much going on i just didnt see the point in living anymore…al i wanted to do was die, go to sleep and never […]
So guys I know most the stuff posted on this site is depressing but I wanted to tell you about a friend of mine. He shot himself point blank in the forehead. Luckily people found him just a few minutes later and he was still alive. He was rushed to the hospital and put in ICU. Somehow either miraculously or whathaveyou he survived. No, he is not a vegetable either, actually now that inearly 6 months have passed, he is having conversations, standing up, solving difficult puzzles and going through physical and mental therapy. I hope to god […]
Ffs. I havent wanted to actually end my life for a long time now. Not until these passed few days. Iv’e got a place to end it.. A note in my head… I just have no idea how many and what type of pills I should take. I mean.. Even if I knew what to do, i wouldn’t even know where to get them. God damn it. If anybody wants to talk, please feel free to email me.. Please. zoebear_1@hotmail.com
~Zoe
So, I’m going to be on therapy soon. For years I’ve been trying to cope with my past psychological traumas with heavy alcohol and drug use, had various sex partners I barely knew, nearly got killed several times, got injured heavily and got myself even more psychological traumas and now it seems they have reached their critical mass.
Worst is that I wanted to spray some positive graffity on the wall of my room and I googled “love” and ended up crying after seeing a whole lotta couples. But deep inside myself I am laughing about myself still being affected by my classmates making fun of […]
few days back i wanted to quit it with car exhaust- carbon monoxide.
but now, i want to do it the hibachi style..
i even  ordered from ebay one old japanese hibachi, just for this. i like japan, so yea.
and imagining  the whole process, i really adore it. i dont know yet where im gonna do it, but i have few nice choices to pick from.
i dont know when, i’ll see when the hibachi arives.
sorry for my bad english. peace.
It’s not at all that I may be having second thoughts, contemplating whether I have made the right choice or not. It’s just although I don’t want to be here now, I feel sad that the old me can not continue living. I guess I just wish that the events leading up to my decision had not have happened. I could continue to live my innocent and naive life, unaware of its dangers and pain. Should I do it tomorrow, why not in a few days? I don’t want to be here anymore, and I am 100% sure of that.
Things couldn’t have turned out better, I have been ill these apst few days and was prescribed pennicillan. But they just make me feel worse so i’m thinking about saving them for tuesday…
I can’t believe how quickly my birthday has came around, The only problem is that my dad is coming down for the day. :/
I want to ask the guys something, For you see whenever I want to stop one of my routines I usually asked a guy if everything would be ok and if it was safe to do so.. But I don’t really have access to my usual suspects. So i would […]
My bad attitude caused by frustration and self hatred has pushed those who used to care about me far far away. I know we’re all alone no matter what, but it kills me not to have at least that illusion making us feel as though we are not alone. I started cutting a few days ago and each day the  cut gets a  little deeper. I was just looking for a distraction from my emotional pain. I haven’t felt happiness all year. I’m beginning to question if there even is a possibility for me to feel happiness again. I used to rely on strangers to […]
I grow tired of the repaired, reconstructed, and rebuilt. I envy many of you who have faced your challenges (depression, suicide, overdose attempts, and so much more).
In all those moments you have made your life easier.
In these comments I commend you, but for many of us the battle of psych freedom is a road longer, darker, and perilous.
I am not trying to compare who is more ill (or was) but staying “just pull yourself out of it” is like a blind parent talking to a child who can see, touch, and taste the sorrow around them.
I am older than many of the […]
I cried for the first time in almost 10 years. It was only like 2 or 3 drops, but for someone like me who thought his tear ducts dried out years ago, it was a real relief. I have been contemplating suicide for years now. But only recently have i reached my breaking point. I have no real friends, only acquaintances. Im a 20 year old virgin, who only had one girlfriend, but i never met her in person. Had my heart broken more times then i can count. I learn the hard way that nice guys finish last, because im hopelessly to nice for […]
the past few days have been a blur really… like its all just a dream.. tho i know its not.. my brain is all jumbled up.. i try to think and i freak out a bit becuz it just get worse.. ugh life.. i go to the doctors today for my seconds check up about my depression.. hopefully it goes good… i feel so lost.. so very very lost in this world… i have no idea where im going..
-RawrImaTurtle…..
… ive been cutting since i was 12….when i was little….my hole family got torn apart…my sister died…i was a year old thats when everything fell apart my dad got aressted and my mom left a year later to go run off with a guy and do drugs…year after that my sister was born and then a fews later taken away and put up for adoption…ive been living with my grandma since i was two…and then…my being picked on…really started about say…1st grade i got called ugly and stupid and frizzy haired freak….all names you can think of…and i belived them…i used to say i […]
8 Months since my first suicide attempt (overdose), 3 more overdoses and hospitalizations added and the last few weeks more and more time spent at the psychiatric unit, so many weeks I have spent there and nothing helps.
I am really sad now, but I see the end. Have cleared my office out, written some lines to explain my pain (though I never thought I would do that) and now spend the days crying even more because I know that I really only have a few days left. This time I am not going to go for the OD, even though I should have died already. […]
I’ve been wanting to address this idea for at least a few days now. I know that I am not going to recover and that redemption is not by any means guaranteed. I almost feel sorry for people that feel that way since it can be a real set up for disappointment and for me not worth pursuing. Truly I can’t tolerate any more disappointment I’d rather just be satisfied with the beating I’ve taken, the fact that I lost.
I would just say “Yes, Steve, you lost.”
What if the kids from school read this?
Will they make fun of me more? Will they beat me up?…AGAIN? Will they think I am just a poser? What will they think of me? If they think I am a poser, they can go get in line. I have my scars for my proof. I have too many scars to be a poser. And no they are not just bike-crash scars. They are cutting scars. I have been cutting my self for a while, trying to work up the nerve to just end it. End my suffering. End the sad thing I call my life. Too […]
I’m one from a very good life. I’m 20, been in a good relationship for going on 5 years. I have friends who love me and a family that’s never split up and always been tight-knit. So, what’s wrong? Why do I just want out? I’ll go long periods of time where I feel okay. (No, not great and not bad. Simply okay. Like I know I exist and I’m fine with that) yet when I break, its hard. I’ll have the worst mood swings, going from absolutely rude and waspish to bawling my eyes out and feeling alone. Incredibly alone. The past few days […]