I was so done after this veteran was full of crap when I dated him. I even went out of my way to get transportation to see him. That’s how much I cared. He told me he was in love with me and other sweet things. I get too caught up in words. They mean nothing. After seeing him and not hearing from him, I went on the dating site and told him off. I told him I hope someone breaks his heart. He said he couldn’t find my number, but he could have easily found me on the dating site like I found him. […]
Hi. I found this website a few days ago, and I decided to post my story. When I was 16, my parents took me to a psyc for the first time because I was having minor anxiety and attention issues. 1 year later, the side effects had me depressed as hell. I was 18 when I tried to slit my wrists. I failed, obviously. 3 years later I started cutting. If I’m lucky enough to get anyone here before they start, don’t start!!! I was 22 when I tried to overdose on psyc meds. Now, I’m trying to stop cutting but failing. I want to […]
It’s been a very long time since I have visited here. It’s been at least two months since I wrote anything here and since I felt this lost. Tonight however, was the first time in what feels like an eternity that I felt completely lost, alone, helpless, and like no one was ever going to be able to be trusted again.
You see, to understand you would have to know what it felt like to be living a type of Quintin Terentino movie that felt all too much like a dream but one that you could never wake up from. Add to that a movie […]
got to wake up at six this morning to feed the baby. as he fell asleep i’ve noticed that today is the last day of 2015 and it got me thinking what i’ve been through this year. i remember the last day of 2014. i sat on top of the roof and had the same exact thoughts. i remember watching the sun set and thinking the next time i’ll see it it will be 2015. in the evening i ordered a whole tray of pizza for myself and watched “the exorcist” as the clock passed midnight.
in january i moved from my parents’ house for the […]
I got fired today . I honestly feel better . I got fired because I was late . & this is my first time being late . But it’s whatever . I could care less . That place is fucking toxic. I feel like everyone there bully’s me. So I don’t care . I feel like that place was really bringing me down . I need a new environment and new people .
I hope to make a change in my life
I just heard this song for the first time in such a long time . It makes me sad . It reminds me so much of my mom. And I really wish she was here to of help me grow up and see my life and just be here with me . She’s gone forever . But this song also reminded me of the happiest time of my life when I was 15. This was my favorite song . I went to a Pink Floyd tribute concert the day after Christmas with all my friends and I was just so happy and carefree . Triggered […]
for the first time in a long time I feel happy, and it’s not because of anyone but myself. I feel so empowered. I’m starting to wear my tragedies as armor instead of shackles. life is 10 % what happens to you and 90 % how you react to it. I’m tired of being sad and not feeling like I’m not good enough. I know in my heart I’m worth being saved and if no one is willing to save me I’ll become my own hero. only then can I say I made it. I’m half way there and I won’t stop until the life […]
Just heard this for the first time. Thought it belonged here.
The only thing that holds me back is destroying my family and those who love me. My mom would be absolutely devastated. My suicide would probably kill her. And I don’t want to leave my dog either. But sometimes I’m like fuck it all, I don’t care anymore. And then I feel really selfish.
I don’t know if I can take it much longer. I’m gonna tell my therapist about my suicidal thoughts for the first time tomorrow (at least I’m gonna try).
Right now I feel I’m a really weak person. I fucking hate myself.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
So this is going to be long and grammar has never been my strong point. Plus I cracked my screen really bad so it’s hard to type. Maybe getting it out will help, maybe not. Either way I have to try something to help.
I Had a rough childhood starting when I was 6 was when I first remember wanting to die. I never fit in.
Continue on and I never had any friends. Not once did a boy ever show interest in me (even the cute kindergarten crushes). I always felt broken.
When hen I hit puberty I gained a lot of weight and my mom decided […]
I went out on a first date tonight. Which means I left my bed for the first time in a week. I’m not wanting a relationship and even though the guy and I are total opposites it was nice to get out of the house and have some fun. That’s a huge step for me. I seriously haven’t put on real clothes in months and rarely leave my house. Thank god for Chinese delivery. I feel weird coming home because while I did have fun all I wanted was to be back home in my bed with the iPad. It’s my safe place and no […]
and he was online … she was too .. he said “hey” and ever since they are talking on Facebook .. she was having a foot injury out of something stupid that caused a metal piece .. get sticked into her foot .. she told him that , he said ” I feel really bad when a beautiful girls like you get hurt” ..
they kept talking for a days .. and then she said .. I’m going out tomorrow to the collage .. if you wants to go with me give me your phone number .. and he does .. and they kept talking […]
She stands there, the darkness stains her skin, turning it form it’s normal tan color to that of the darkest night. It runs over her skin like droplets of blood. It misses every scar, every last cut on her skin. It terrifies her, this darkness, but that terror is intoxicating, as intoxicating as that first bottle of whiskey she choked down. As intoxicating as her first pill, as her slow fall into this hell. The woman never meant to let this happen, she swore that she was too strong for this to take here down. She was strong goddammit, and she was normal, she had […]
This just came to mind again. The other day, my mom contacted me again. It’s been a long time. I guess she only contacts me to tell me her woes. Several months ago was the first time she contacted me in over a year, since my grandma died. Then, she only wanted to tell me her husband died too and her last German Shepherd had to be put down. Then silence. Then out of nowhere, a few texts at 4am the other day, to tell me her last dog (that I knew) has cancer, and then to tell me she recently adopted 2 other adult […]
I tried to use the Reddit app for the first time last night. I posted some very personal stuff in the Depression and in the LGBT section to see what people would say. The responses were extraordinarily abusive. People blaming me for something someone else did that was out of my control. People telling me to fuck off and get a therapist. I’m actually shaking it was so upsetting. This is why I don’t try to make friends, whenever I reveal anything about my depression to punish me for it. When I deleted my account there was a question of why I was doing this […]
so it’s my first time here…I struggle with depression quite a lot and since a lot of time…it doesn’t even matter whether everything is right or wrong…the episodes just come randomly…
I get into the self destruct mode…I will do anything to harm myself and my relationships with people.
I am tired! Right now I feel I do not deserve to live as I only bring in problems for everyone….
I was smi King for the vert first time…for w dwke
I’m not really sure what to say im new to this googling suicide crap. All night I been thinking about ways to kill myself how to do it. This isn’t the first suicide attempt. There’s been a few but overdoses never really work I end up being sick and well I failed. But tonight I just can’t cope anymore. It’s getting worse and worse I don’t get any help with my depression. I even told my support worker I’m going delusional. Funny thing is she thought it was nothing and signed me off that day! Tonight I even written a suicide note. First time and […]
When I was last on this site, I was on the brink of committing suicide, as I had been for, in retrospect, about five years. It was an awful period of my life, and I would never like to revisit it. However, I feel that it is necessary for me to come over here because of how this site effected my life.
After I had a particularly painful episode, during which I threatened to drink bleach and simultaneously overdose on various painkillers, I conceded defeat and got put on an antidepressant. For many people, these medications are rarely effective the first time you take them. […]