I’m fed up of broken promises of ‘when you move to X, things will get better’. I moved schools three times (once in year 8, then again in year 12). It never got better. Now I’m at uni and I was lured in with that same stupid lie. It isn’t better here. If anything it’s worse. I’ve already overdosed here, unfortunately failing. I’m just fed up and lonely and at the end of a thin rope. I’m ready to snap.
Tag:
Friends
I used to think I would find love one day. Now I just think I’m unfit for it. I’ve never had a boyfriend, or a first kiss, or anything. I would even settle for a girlfriend at this point, if she cared about me. I’m not sure if I’m a lesbian. I’m so confused. Whenever I look at other women I think they are prettier and more appealing than men… but I still am attracted to the opposite sex. Does this make any sense? It doesn’t matter though, because I can’t even make friends. All my friends last for one semester of college, then I don’t see them again. I feel like […]
Alone In This Cruel World That So Many People Call Home While My Thoughts Brutally Attack Themselves
by Miss.Mayhem
written by Miss.Mayhem
I’ve attempted to write my suicide note. Or notes I should say. I’m not even done with the one to my love. It’s like 4 pages long already and not even close to being finished. Do I know if I’m going to commit suicide? No. I just want everything ready for when and if it does happen. I see it being a 30 to 70%. 30% being I won’t attempted it. The other 70% is I will. Probably not now but latter.
Tomorrow and Thanksgiving and I’m not sure what to be thankful for. My family resents me. My friends will eventually turn their backs on me. What’s […]
Just want to say to all who is in hard time at the moment, STAY STRONG, you were born to make a diference in this world.
You are just so much better than those people or things that upset you, who ignoring you, who or what makes you scared… There are people who love you and who DO care for you, they may be near, or you’ll meet them later in your life (you sure will), and they need you. Think about them. Do not be selfish. You are wonderful, beautiful and this world needs you!
Believe in yourself! I DO!
Read some books, look for answers, talk to somebody, look in to yourself, try […]
I guess I didn’t notice I loved you until you held my hand. I didn’t know you loved me until my friend told me what you said. But you don’t know me. You know me….but you really don’t. You think I’m perfect because that’s how I display myself. I make sure I smile and laugh. I make sure not to show any emotion I would regret latter. You just think you love me. You don’t, truth me. Once you find out, you’ll change your mind…they all do.
But if you want to know the truth, fine:
Yes, I do have scars I hide.
No, I’m not the girl […]
Okay, nothing is working. I’m always sad even when I’m happy, I feel empty. I stopped cutting. although it sounded like a good idea, but I can’t not cut. cutting was my way to release the fucking pain I feel inside. and honestly, I want to start smoking again. I want to smoke and just forget about everything. I’m such a failure. my friends don’t want me to smoke cigarettes anymore, but they have no problem trying to pressure me to smoke cigars (no not those big fat ones that mob bosses smoke all the time) where is your logic??
So, my question to you, where […]
I truly don’t know where to start; what I feel right now is from years adding up. It is from everything I have delt with and truly feels like nothing is ever enough. Please bare with my bad grammer and sentence structure I am typing as it comes to me and I’m a little shoken up at the molment.
Ok background I have two brothers who are older than me the eldest we will call Nick the middle Kevin. I am a gay male and I know the fact but have never accepted it. If you ask me I will tell you truthfully I am. If […]
I’ve written my suicide note before, but a lot has changed since 3 months ago. I have more to say. I’m not saying that I will kill myself but if I do, I want people to know how I felt about them.
Often times I wonder how I reached this point. This point of no return. Of an endless repitition of internal suffering. I can’t really think of an answer. Perhaps that means that I was just destined to be this way.
Many different people think the solution is simply, talking about your feelings or seeing a shrink or just looking at life at a different angle. But they’re all wrong. Because no matter what people say on the outside, you’ll always be that suicidal kid (no matter how old you are, actually) and despite all of the nice things they’ll say, no matter how much they tell you that they like you or that you […]
I don’t want to see anyone go through the hell i had to. I want to help.
by Daydreamer
written by Daydreamer
I am an 18 year old boy graduated from high school not too long ago. My first suicide attempt was after the first semester of Sophomore year. Drank half a bottle of rat poison because i was too chicken to hang myself. I never felt so alone as i did then. I was a ghost, my friends would talk to me but they didn’t care about me. They tried, but they never got me. The people who i loved the most my friends my family, it felt like i was nothing to them. Wen’t walking around everywhere with a hole in my heart wanting something […]
im depressed. usually i get out of it for awhile and then it comes back for a little. this time i cant seem to get out of it. i dont have any motivation or self confidence and self worth. im not doing anything, im failing my classes, i cant look at my friends anymore. when i do i feel ashamed and disappointed in myself. no matter what people say it doesnt seem to help. i talked to my mom about some of this but it didnt help and it seems she forgot about it. im scared to tell everything to the people i know. im […]
I’ve gotten to be very good at hiding what’s inside. Whenever somethings wrong or bothering me, I can usually hide it really well. I have several different masks though..
Home/Family Mask- When I’m home and just around my parents i usually just chill in my room and act tired (which i usually am when im upset). I curl up in my sweat pants and wrap up in blankets so they can’t see if I have hurt myself in anyway. But I havnt done that in a while. This mask is usually just hiding out and being tired.
Dance Mask- When i’m at dance, i just try to act goofy […]
well i know my friends okay. physically. and for now. the next few weeks will be really hard.. but hopefully we will all get through it.. but now i only have to worry about how she handles everything, and what she does day to day.. i will have to be patient and make sure that she knows im here..
I am the world to my parents. Everything they do, they claim to do it for me. Maybe it’s an Asian thing. Maybe it’s just a devoted parents thing. I don’t know. I’ve been wanting them to come to terms with the fact that I want to kill myself since I first decided to tell them in April. I hoped that with enough communication, they would understand the amount of suffering I’ve been enduring. Of course, no, they think I need a change of scenery, a change in lifestyle, pretty much a change in everything. Think that that would solve my problems. No. They even […]
Dying has never been easy for any human being, at least for any of the human being I’ve met throughout my life. The idea of leaving the world for visiting some unknown existence is just scaring. But, for me, the worst thing about dying is never have the guarantee of seeing your loved ones again.
I said before that one of my friends, one of the important people in my life, was trying to hate me but he wasn’t able to. Well, now I know he hates me. I know, this is my fault. A friend, who I really trust, told me that he hates me. When […]
Sometimes I like to think that things can’t get worse, but then they always do. College is a miserable experience… I have no friends that can hold me together. My family is unsupportive of me ever since I decided not to be religious. I’m not even sure whether or not I’m going to be fired from my job. My car is now not running for the second time this month. And worst of all, my fiancé left me 5 months ago. I was sure this was the lowest point I could get to. And then tonight, the only friend that I had left to really […]
I don’t need you advice! I don’t need you sympathy! I just want you to LISTEN!
I don’t do this ’cause I want attention, well not from the world, but from you.
I just want to hear you say “I LOVE YOU” and mean it with all your heart!
Did you know that every time we talk on the phone I can’t wait to hear you say “I LOVE YOU“.
Sometimes that is the only reason I call, but sometimes it never comes.
People say that “Love” is thrown around so much that it means less.
Not to me!
Every time I hear […]
The reason my sleeping fucked up in the first place is because I’d spend countless nights awake, convincing my friend not to cut her arms, or take too many pills. I never wanted to wake my mum, brother and sister, so I’d hang out of my window to keep it quiet, this didn’t help the fact that the conversations with her were extremely triggering, and I’m already suicidal, and sitting in an open window. bad idea, right?
I skyped with strangers, making sure they were okay, friends from my area would tell me whats wrong, and I’d rush to their house to make sure they were okay. […]
I hope everything is alright with you (whoever is reading this), or at least I hope things will improve for you at some point in time, hopefully soon.
I’ll try and keep this relatively short so I don’t take up too much of your time if you choose to read this. Also, I’ll understand if I don’t get any comments on this because I know the stuff posted on this website is usually hard to respond to. That and I usually just write random crap that doesn’t really make sense to anyone. This probably won’t flow very well, and for that I apologise. I find it […]
Alright. Never thought I’d post anything here, but after reading a lot of your stories, I feel like sharing mine. Please bear with me.
Where to start? I’m 27, have the best parents in the world, a great brother and a bunch of friends that I could hang out with. I graduated last June, but haven’t looked for a job, I’ve done nothing with my life really. I’ve just been depressed, scared of the outside. The thing is, I always saw it coming all along.
Basically I’m “afraid” of people and what they think of me. The fact that I studied journalism doesn’t make it any easier, […]