I got home from school to see that no one was home. Tears were streaming don my face as I made my way to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed  in deep thought. Why do I have to be so ugly? Fat..worthless..stupid? I feel so alone-my friends..suggested we stop hanging out. I’m not a lesbian by the way. I may be a tad bisexual but so what? I’m not fully gay. And to anyone who IS gay, don’t be ashamed. My brain was clouded with thoughts. I screamed out in frustration and practically tore apart my room. Stuff was strewn out […]
Tag:
Frustration
I am so sick of the ups and downs…. Make a plan to kill my self … Pray for a reson why not Tooo….. Gets the reson…work harder to better life ….Turn happy ….think about it deeply on accident …. But keep trying to be happy….minds starts to collapse in thougths…. Start to cry….. Work harder to keep my self from thinking… Began to fail at any activity at hand…. Decides to take a nap…..can’t sleep….stuck in thougth… Crys my self to masturbation… Hard to mesturbate…..fall to sleep in frustration…… Restart for the next day and repeat
I have always been a lost child in the wonders of how this world work, felt different, alone, unwanted. My perception of life was so different from others to the point I was unsure what the definition of life was… to me life was what we based it on what we create of it, not repetition and constant drills to form us into all similar beings. I never understood peoples fascination with money when I was younger, it was paper… why did people fight over it. As I grew I started becoming more frustrated with the world in lack of understanding the point of it […]
dont know when you will actualy read this but i need to talk to some one i hope your willing to read and listen. i;m desprate i need something not sure what i know i tell you not to talk about killing yourself but i know how you feel for diffrent reasons.  im not sure how much longer i can hold on staying alive so i dont hurt my kids isnt enough of a reason any more staying alive because its a sin to kill myself not sure about that. ending the pain sounds real good right now. ending the frustration the hoplesness  the uncertany […]
I feel so much anger and frustration I feel like I have tried everything to help myself but nothing has worked so I Â don’t even want to try anymore I feel like a failure and I’m fed up after so many failures ….. I don’t feel like living
Do me a favor. Right now, wherever you are, get up, look in a mirror, a window reflection, even a spoon would work! Just take a look at yourself. I don’t care if you’re about to drop from the rope, ready to fall asleep after you downed hundreds of whatever pill, or if you’re just sitting in bed silently killing yourself. Get up, look at yourself and smile. Ask yourself, do you remember them? Do you remember happy? Sometimes, I don’t. Sometimes, I look at the stranger staring back at me and say “How do you know me?”
Tonight, I didn’t know the stranger. But the stranger […]
Red.
Red like blood.
The blood that caused the scars on my wrist.
Red.
Red like the peircing evil in the eyes if the monsters in my nightmares.
Firey red that pulses in their orbs, taunting, teasing.
Red.
Red like fury.
The madness and frustration I feel towards everything.
Red.
I’ve been reflecting on a friendship that I ended 11 months ago due to my depression, at the time I thought that I was doing what was best for me while trying to keep them in mind but now I realize the effect it had on them, at the time I made the decision to end our friendship because I felt like I didn’t want to bring my negativity around them and bring them down but now I realize why it hurt because they felt like I didn’t like them I made a promise to myself that once I got rid of my problem I […]
I have no outlets to let my stress out or whatever negative thoughts I’m feeling about myself that day, what happens to me is I find distractions through: surfing the internet,watching TV,etc. and at some point everything feels like a distraction because you go to sleep with all those negative thoughts and you just bury them and the pain is still there and it and the next day the cycle repeats, and the days seem to be shorter and everything seems to be moving fast and you feel like you’re being left behind. I’ve read that with depression you lose interest in activities you once […]
Darkness… thats all I see. It swirls around me growing and growing. It twist on itself like a dark flaming torrent. It gets bigger and bigger. All I can see is this abomination of a thing all around me. I am horrified. “what the hell is this!” I scream. Thats when I hear the laugh, and as soon as I hear it I realize something. The darkness is… my soul. Its whats left of what I used to be. It has rotted inside of me. It has grown like my rage, frustration, and deppression. Then I start to laugh with it. I laugh and laugh. My laugh […]
I have tried for a long time to break out of this.
Hey
This is my first time doing something like this. Not sure why I’m doing it, but yeah.
I’m 20 and live in England. Ever since I was young I’ve been different. I’ve always had a different outlook on life, and people, and so on. I try to be a nice guy, just like everybody else, but people never seem to do the same. I’m quite an anti-social person, so there’s that, but I always have time for people if they need me and never close the door on anyone – until they walk all over or something equally depressing.
Like most people on here (I imagine), I’ve […]
I tried to be productive today but I failed. I had planned to do things like be creative and make a moodboard and draw but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, whenever I tried I just felt the frustration of failing I really can’t explain it. I haven’t really done anything productive in a while the last time I did I wasn’t really passionate about it like I’d like to be. The reason I wanted to be productive today was because I’m on break and have no school so I thought it would be a good idea to do something I enjoy but […]
This past month ive had a relapse of depression. I was depressed as a kid (age 7-10) and now I’m depressed again (age 15). The reason for my relapse is frustration and stress at school with grades and such. It has escalated so quickly. I think of suicide most of the time. Today at school when i was walking in the hall i saw a sign out of the corner of my eye and one of the words read “Suicide” and did a double take and the word was gone. I guess i hallucinated. Anyway, i was never diagnosed with depression and i want to […]
I woke up today and wished again that my attempt had not failed. The meds make me feel fuzzy, at times they make me shake, people looks at me and despise me because they think I am on drugs or alcohol. I am tired, but jittery all the time. I hate the meds, I want my life back the way it used to be or I want out. This frustration is unendurable.
Hey everyone! I just wanted to share something….
Lately, I’ve been wishing for my death whenever I’m irritated. I’m sort of easily annoyed. Little things get under my skin. Like, whenever someone comes into my room and leaves my room without shutting the door. That really pisses me off. Whenever I try to get my uncle’s attention and he takes forever to respond (He deliberately does that) because he’s focused on his iPhone irks me, too. I dislike going through the trouble of doing something for someone else because they choose not to do it themselves (Referring to family. I am the youngest, so I’m ‘bossed’ […]
My mind has a never ending cry for help. I suffer in silence and when I speak people think its just a phase. I hope they’re right, I hope I’m wrong. I always say there’s always a limit for everything, it’s come to the point where the most important people in my life have turned their back on me. It feels nasty, I have disgust in my heart and tears want to flow through my eyes, I want to scream through the walls, yet I keep myself from doing this, I don’t want people seeing my pain, my suffering. So I keep that anger, that […]
Me?
I am a 14 year old girl in the verge of giving up her whole life away. I don’t seem to sound like Amanda Todd or any other teenage obsessed love seeking little *****. But there’s nothing left in my life I can hold on to. Everything around me feels so bland. I don’t tend to have reasons for what I do. There is not purpose left for me. I am tired, and lonely.
I am a child abuse case, ever since I was 9 year old my parents started abusing me. Beating me up to shreds, channel their frustration in me. I lost my […]
My boyfriend and i are together for the last 4 years(long distance relationship),very very happy,but 6 months back he told me he will not marry me,since then i feel very insecure and immensely fear losing him.Even though i’ve always been sure he loves me a lot,out of frustration i’ve been yelling things i shouldn’t have and hurt him,hes been very forgiving all this time but last night he said he couldn’t bear it anymore and told me not the contact him in anyway.I can’t control myself what do i do?I really never wanted to hurt him,but hes the only one i feel i own,which i […]
I know this is ridiculously long and most of you won’t care about what I have to say. That’s okay. I just needed to release some depression somewhere. I’ve been feeling worse and worse lately even though I know I’m trying to head in the right direction. I just needed to vent some frustration. I always say I’m doing this for me, changing for myself, but it still kills me when my family shows me how worthless I am… so here are my thoughts for the past week.
I’m amazed at how well I’ve become at wearing a mask. I’m able to conceal my emotions so […]