I use to be haunted by my dreams and thoughts. Now I embrace them and love them because I always die in them and they always offer peace. That’s all I want. Peace. I’m not scared of death, I’m scared of what comes after death. I’m starting to just deal with whatever happens afterwards cause I’m done with this life. I think I’m finally getting the courage to hang myself. I’m trying to learn how to tie a noose. The thing is, I don’t care about me. I care about random strangers that are on this website that feel like me. There’s a whole website […]
Tag:
get better
I’ve attempted suicide over ten times.
I’ve never been raped or lost someone close to me to death. I’ve never been homeless or starving. I’ve never run away or snuck out.
Instead, I’ve smoked and drank. I cut and I burn. I think about my death often.
I remember when my parents found out how suicidal I was. My mom laughed and then continued smoking and my step father joked about keeping me away from his tools. They never put me in a hospital, and only took me to therapy once.
They put me on a bunch of meds, […]
What are things anti suicide people say to you that piss you off the most?
by wndozh8er
written by wndozh8er
I been suicidal for over a decade. I talked about it often with people but luckily was never institutionalized. Here are some of the things people said that got under my skin –
1. “Give your life over to God” – ok first off I’m a hardcore atheist so that doesn’t work. I was also severely depressed and miserable as a Christian as well so going back wouldn’t change a god damn thing.
2. “If you commit suicide, you will go to hell” – wow really? Is God that evil as to torture someone for all eternity because they wanted there sufering to end? Again I don’t […]
Hey guys,
Honestly, i am not suicidal right now, but generally i feel empty.
I am 17 and there is very little good about my life right now.
Academically i have detoriated.
I have literally no friends, i like a girl, but she doesn’t like me.
Nothings going for me right now.
So ill be blunt,
DOES IT GET BETTER?
Do things become better. Does not getting into a good college mean the end of life?
Second post. Spent all day yesterday planning my death if my trip abroad didn’t work out. Realised it was really bad.
Realised I have to go on proper meds or I will do it. Am not afraid of death but don’t want to fail at it and think the process would be uncomfortable.
Cried and cried and realised only answer was to get proper help. Went in first thing to docs to book an appointment and said it was urgent. The receptionist asked me how long I’d had symptoms and I said depression a long time suicidal a few months now. I thought she would realise this […]
A few years ago, I was just entering middle school. It was a strange transition for everyone, I think. I remember looking around the classrooms and seeing how different people were.
For a while, it was just me. I was very shy and quiet, seemingly closed-off. I made a few friends during that year. We weren’t best friends but we were okay. You see, I moved around a bunch so making friends was difficult and made me feel awful because I just kept thinking that I’d move and never see them again.
I used to bring lunch and eat it in the school cafeteria; it was very […]
Do you ever hear people say, “It’s okay. It’ll all get better.” Or “It’s only temporary.” And “Stay Strong.”
I’ve heard those phrases so many times in my life, it never really motivates me at all to keep going. Honestly, I feel like people only say that, just because they don’t have anything else to say that’ll actually make a difference. I’m glad I’ve found this website because, writing how I feel is far better than telling a “friend” how I feel. I’m about to be a Junior in high school and sometime during my Sophmore year, I texted a friend that I’ve known for 4 […]
I just want to die today I’ve been hit with the most painful
Feelings, I can’t keep this up, I can’t keep feeling life is not going to get better. I would prefer to be dead. I can’t eat barely sleep, I’m so distressed I did yoga before and all I could think about was please let me end this. I’ve got no stability , no security, an addiction, one that won’t leave its grasps. I know the reason why I want to die is because of the addiction. But I have tried hundred of times to give up, I’ve been to countless rehabs , […]
Its funny how ones mood can get better so fast for a moement. I went on a trip to a water park yesterday with my sister and a few friends. Found out from one of my friends that my recent ex tried to sabotage me publicly and his planned backfired on him badly…. Just because I spoke about the bullshit hes done to me behind my back on social media. I havent felt so good in a long time. XD
Now off to work for the next 6 days off the day after then traveling for 2 days after that.
Just wanted to share some love to all of you who are struggling.
Maybe you feel like you can’t go another day. You feel like taking your last breath. You feel the weight of the world on top of you, caving in on your chest. You feel it so much it’s went from just being mental, to a real physical pain. You feel you don’t belong or have a place in this world. You cry yourself to sleep some or most nights. You have suicidal ideation. You think about what this world would be without you, and probably feel it wouldn’t even notice your absence.
I’ve been […]
I haven’t been on this site for a few years. I was on it then because I was really suicidal, I worked through it that time and now it’s back with a vengeance. The last two years have been the worst two years. I’ve been waiting for it to get better but it doesn’t seem to be. My story’s about loss I guess. I’m a real survivor, I ve lived through sexual assault, violence, drug addiction. I’ve come out the other side on a couple of ocassions. I had 7 years off drugs and alcohol & 3 years but I’ve had these relapses and they’ve […]
i have been suicidal since i was honestly 8 but i had to take care of my mother and now shes fine and i want to finally fufill my wish to die but i dont know if i could do it alone or at all, i keep hoping things are going to get better but they never do, am i crazy? i dont know but if anyone in the texas area is looking for a possible suicide partner im here. i keep switching between wanting to do it and looking foward i need somone to do it with me for me to be able to […]
No more heart or diabetes meds………..time to let nature take its course. I flushed them all down the toilet.
I’m not angry or seeking to hurt anyone. What I am, is lonely to the point of exhaustion. There is nothing out “there” because there is nothing in “here”, no value, no worth and no reason to exist. I know it sounds dramatic, but I just want to rest, to sleep and be at peace.
I could be here for days, weeks, months or even years more. I don’t know.
There was an actor named George Sanders. His most famous film, I would say, was All About Eve, which […]
I am such trash. I just got out of a treatment center for the 7th time for my anorexia and you know what’s changed? Fuck nothing. In fact, I want to end my life now more than I have in then before I went. I am fine during the day because I have things to distract me but once I am alone, the creeping reality sets back in.
I am never going to get better. I took this treatment more seriously then I ever have in the past, was completely open and honest, and tried harder than ever before. But nothing has changed. I STILL want […]
Its sad to think about, but so many of us are alone.
And we can not expect help to fall at our feet.
But from what I’ve learnt, only you, can save yourself.
How are you? Are you okay? Are you safe? Are you questioning yourself? Questioning your sanity? Deciding if you really wanna live on this shitty ass planet?
Well welcome to the party.
A party where lonely souls are never fully understood but voices are always heard.
You’re in pain? Can’t take it anymore? So sick of your life?
I understand. She understands. He understands. We’ve all been there. He’s there now. She fighting […]
There won’t be anyone home besides myself. Friends and loved ones have been pushed away. I’ve been trying to use this time to think about ways to get better. Ways to change but something inside puts a halt to those thoughts…
I don’t want to get better. Things just need to cease going on. Whether it’s the world or just my world. Because the colors been drained, there is no more energy to care. Taking something hot or sharp to soft skin is all I really put effort into. If not that then other ways to wind up hurt. Brusies and scrapes, nicks and cuts…never have […]
Before I start, I guess I’ll preface by saying that I’m not really used to doing this sort of thing—that is, writing out my problems to anonymous internet users. Hopefully it is way better than talking to my phony therapist, getting paid 100 dollars an hour for absolutely nothing.
Where to begin? I guess I’ll just say I was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, or BDD. Except that is hard for me to believe when I actually show signs of ugliness. If this phenomena of BDD didn’t even exist, I doubt I’d be writing this now. There would be nothing for doctors to pawn off as […]
I’m tired I’ve been tired, I’m a walking fuckin skeleton with nothing left to give you can look at me and see I’m no longer here anymore. 24 years old or 4 this is all I’ve known, a never ending black hole I’ve gotten fuckin stupider and have ultimately fucked myself up even more. I’m sicker than sick, I’m fuckin sick and feel like nothing in this world can “fix” me. I honestly believe this is it no heaven or hell we had a choice to make this world our heaven or hell, the more I look around and the longer I choose to stay […]
Fine.
When the world come crashing down, don’t you dare cry to me, don’t ask me why, we tried to tell you, you wouldn’t listen, now you can face the consequences of your ignorance and inaction.
If you have the ability, you have the responsibility, each and every one of you, you really blew it.
You never fought for what you had, now it’s disappearing, little by little, and because nobody’s shot anyone, nobody’s dropped a bomb, and nobody’s taken to the streets to protest, you’re none the wiser, and you’ll refuse to give a shit even when you’re dragged off in the near future for even a […]
Dear Unnamed fuckface who threw his tray across the room and tried to play it of as an accident when he realized his favorite housekeeper was there,
you piss me off. Stop asking so many personal questions. Let me do my job and leave. It’s bad enough that I scrub toilets for a living. You really REALLY don’t have to make it any worse. I’m stressed enough without people like you making my job more difficult than necessary.
Sincerely,
Samantha. The very angry cleaning lady.
In other news, my head is pounding and I’m exhausted. I’ve been asking myself the same thing all day.
Do I really […]