so more came out. along with the paying whores for the last seven years he had multipul e mail accounts and was sending messages back and forth with people was on tons of sex sites chat sites dating sites getting naked pics from people jerking off to anything anyone any fucking whale or old lady who sent him shit. pretending he was this black guy with a HUGE ungodly moster penis. OMG.. unreal… my life seems so unreal.. like a awful fucking joke.. and I know he has a addiction problem and he is gonna get help but then there is other shit …apparently my […]
Tag:
God
Why do we reach out to those that have harmed us?
Is it somehow an innate desire inside that they will change and see the error of their ways and realize that after years of degrading us, we’re actua lly worth something?
Dad used to scold me for my self-worth being low, but he kept contributing to it by making fun of my weight, or my bleeding issues. Â How could a Registered Nurse be so cruel, knowing, as a biology major, that the health issues I have are pretty severe?
The truth is, they weren’t severe because he didn’t want to foot the doctor bill. Â Years later, they’re […]
Here is my life story and why i want to kill myself.
when i was born i was dropped on my head by my crackhead mother and then because of it couldnt talk right but could still think the same according to the doctors. In my middle school years people started to make fun of me because of that and felt as if there is nothing else to do.
so luckily somebody introduced me to a little plant called weed and i could never get off of it and after a while of smoking that i got bored and started on the acid and coke. […]
This is my second post. today hadn’t been that good. I’ve been floating in and out of sadness and depression. I’ve begun considering going to see a psychiatrist for my problems; hopefully they’ll be able to answer some of my questions because… I don’t understand this…
Each night I go to sleep, hoping I won’t wake up. During the night I wake and watch the shadows drift around me and beg God to never let it end, to just let those shadows stay forever and take me away into the darkness. Then when the sun rises I’m still breathing and I curse my own being. Getting […]
This is the first time I’ve ever publically posted/said that I am in as much pain as I am. I’ve hidden it for years, even when I was a young teen. When I was little I thought everybody had bad days like mine: times when the world looked grey, when even speaking was difficult, when my soul felt sucked from me. I’m too afraid to truly come out and tell anyone around me how I really feel. They’ll all just say “Just put on a smile and look on the bright side” or “It’ll be okay, just buck up”. Can’t anyone see that I can’t […]
I’ve had suicidal thoughts for the past several years now. Especially for the past 3 years. I consider myself a spiritual person, but I’m starting to believe that God wants me to take my own life. Life just keeps on getting worse!
This is my first post, and I am desperate for guidence and help!
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
It had been half a year since I came here on SP. Since then,I have found my true meaning of life. My life,my pain was the same; but I decided to fight and chase my dreams,and that has made all the difference. I have found my happiness and destination in life. There is no place in this world for those who refuse to fight, I say.
Last night my kitty died. I was playing and laughing with him even at sunset, but at night I found him lying lifeless on the street in front of my house. He must have been hit. It all happened so, […]
Though you are my friend
My love for you will never end
Remembering that night
And god it felt so right
Your body pressed against mine
And boy did the moonlight shine
As I closed my eyes
And took slow breathes
You leaned down and kissed my neck
Not to fast
We made it last
There was no rush
There was just us
Every kiss I reminisce
The way your lips
Rubbed against my lips
There was love
I felt this
We took it slow
Not one moment did we miss
As you lay there on my chest
At that moment I felt so blessed
You […]
Pretty sure I’ll be doing it within a month. I’ve decided on a hanging, I’ve looked into the subject a lot and the best options are expensive, and the other options can leave you pretty messed up. Hanging can too of course but has a higher success rate and is cheap to do. I knew a guy who tried shooting himself in the hospital during a previous attempt so even guns aren’t a guarantee but nothing is really. I don’t really expect anyone to read this, I notice most posts on here don’t have comments, so either no one reads or no one cares. That’s […]
my mom and i made up i guess. she started bitching at me after i helped her with video taping something and she told me that she is relieved im leaving. idk it hurt that she thinks that im such a bad person and im really trying… today i started talking about stuff with my friends mom that i used to be really close to. its the first time seeing her in ages. it felt good to talk to someone but i think somehow she knew i was lying about being better and she looked worried when i told her i took myself off my […]
I haven’t written for awhile. Im doing this from my iPad something’s happened. Someones told me again that I mean nothing. I mean he made me get very upset, he wanted to come see me, I wasn’t sure, i told him I wasn’t, because I’m so messed up right now, and he got angry, Â cold, stone cold. But I was crying and looking at the kitchen knives and he practically laughed, and said he was busy, basically that He has a life. I know how pathetic this sounds, but noe Iwant to, I’m thinking of really doing this.
people told me he is a psychopath, that […]
I can’t take the emotional pain anymore. I’ve tried so many different anti-depressants. Do I need ECT? I just want some ******** to leave this world peacefully. I’m never going to accept my sexuality. I have unwanted same-sex attraction and at the same time want a family life. I’m 42 and time is running out. What’s the point of all this? Please god intervene, save this soul from hell and let me die peacefully. Psychiatrists, psychologists, support groups, friends, family, exercise, tried everything but I’m constantly thinking about suicide. Yes, I have some things going on in my life which I appreciate, BUT THE LONELINESS […]
Lately my mother has been trying to take me to church. I’ve tried praying and going to church but in all honesty , Religion isn’t something I’m into. It’s just been a thing that people believe in ,Nothing more. On Facebook I like a page called ” Atheist English Girl” Where she posts pictures about religion and how she doesn’t believe in. I thought some pictures were funny so I liked it. She had posted a picture today about Marilyn Manson Saying “I like the bible , I like it as a book. Just like I like Cat and The Hat” And I thought it […]
My name is John and I and 19. I have no real friends to speak of, I’ve lost interesting in the only thing that has been really keeping me going and I’ve been wishing the past few years for something to happen that would get me killed. I can’t commit suicide because my mind and body physically won’t allow me to do so. I don’t know when exactly I started feeling the way i did, but the feeling has only grown stronger over the years especially in the last few months.
I have no job, no drivers license because i can’t afford the insurance, no friends […]
All the time I see these extravagant programs for Veterans with PTSD, or any other ailment they might have…
What about regular people…there are more non-militants in America that suffer from mental illnesses. About 1 in 3 to 1 in 4 adults suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder or disease in a given year. This amounts to about 70-80 million people out there alone and helpless. According to records, about 8% of American citizens will develop PTSD sometime during their lives. In 2005, 1.77 million American males committed suicide. 450,000 American females committed suicide.
There is little to no help for people in this situation, and I […]
So.
Uh.
Let’s start. I’m Christian. Presbyterian, in fact. I’ve been this way for a while now. Uhm…well…you see…I believe I’m Pangendered. A.K.A, genderqueer. yeah. I don’t believe that I belong to any gender, and am comfortably happy with who I am. Mentally. Physically, I am either gender depending on my mood. I am also Pansexual. I can love anyone regardless of gender (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, asexual, etc.). Herein lies the problem…I’m “supposed to be happy with the body God gave me. Yes. God gave me the body. It’s my choice on what I do with it. I’m not saying I want some big surgery or […]
The history of Earth does not indicate the existence of a supreme being that is worthy of worship.
Religion acts as an obstruction to discovering new truths.
“In the nineteenth century the problem was that God is dead; in the twentieth century the problem is that man is deadâ€
In a world where irrationality is largely the norm, rationality does not often seem to be conducive to happiness.
I don’t know how to make decisions. Even small decisions baffle me so how am I supposed to make decisions regarding suicide (do I really do it? how? when?). How do you make crucial decisions when you cannot foresee the future? Let’s say my future is going to be three more years. I have a wasting condition so those will certainly be suffering years. However, I could commit to grit my teeth and bear it because I know my suffering will be done in three years. That will save my family from the pain of losing me by suicide. That way I won’t have to […]
Dear Readers.
Wow, that sounds weird for some one as new as me, because i tend to not gain attention, Internet-wise or not, but thats besides the point. I am a 13 year old girl, nothing special, and to be honest, i’m not that serious of a case, compared to other people, But what my problem is that i suffer from my negative emotions, and i do mean it quiet  literally. Let me try to clear this up for you. For example, lets assume that you and i used to be really close, but then our relationship… fails. Like i wasn’t as great as a friend then you […]