I don’t know who I am anymore. It’s like my oldself escaped somehow. Is that even possible? Or am I still me but its hidden really deep inside. I don’t feel like myself when I’m alone. I don’t even know who I am. Everyone knows that happy girl because that’s the act I put up for people. Or is it..? I wonder and question about my life. A lot. I have family and friends who love me. I still don’t know why I feel so empty, this isn’t the first time. Actually I been feeling like this for a while. Putting up a past on […]
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Happy Girl
I look up and see the clouds above me. I feel pain and only pain when the rain falls. It feels like acid eating at my skin.
I feel pain with every key stroke on this post. I know you don’t get it. IT ALL HURTS.
I feel pain when see my phone, a piecing pain that shoots through me for every text from my so called friends.
The fake smile I put on for the world to see pulls on my heart telling me to cry. I stay dehydrated so IÂ don’t cry so none knows.
I stay strong don’t let it show. I see the faces of […]
So i was a happy girl, and i had friends, best-friends infact, i was chubby and proud, and never wore make up and honestly could’nt care less..and then when it hit year 9 everything changed, i got fed up of the ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ comments, and could’nt take it anymore, i went on the laptop alot and looked on websites like tumblr, but more importantly i looked at blogs like thinsperation. Â At first i just looked but never did anything, and then i started to starve myself in crave of a thigh gap and collar bones. I stopped eating completely and gave up on food. […]
I’m sick. Can’t stop coughing. Hoping I might die in my sleep. Not sure if anything is real. I’m ready to die. I know I am. But I’m scared. For what reason I don’t know. Of the pain maybe. The love of my life is oblivious to me. He doesn’t even care. I’ve posted things on Facebook, pictures describing how I feel, directing them to him. Even though I have always been there for him. He doesn’t care. He pretends to. But if i died today. He wouldn’t care. I’ve been waiting. Singing my songs forever. But its just a game. Let the games begin. […]
I’m 13 years old, turning 14 in March 13. I’m here again. Alone. I’ve been sexually abused by two family members and physically abused by almost every single person in my family. I’ve been beaten with objects. I can still taste the blood inside my mouth when it got busted and bruised. I’m insecure. I have cuts all over my legs and arms. And I have P.E too, we’re forced to wear shorts, I have to run everyday in the lockers and change as fast as possible making sure no one is able to see. I keep my razor inside my phone case, just in […]
there’s always been this feeling inside me where its like i want to crawl out of my skin. nobody knows what i’m truly thinking or how i feel about myself everyday; MY LIFE. i’m known for being a happy girl and i guess its just this front i put up, but deep down… i don’t want to be here anymore. i feel like its such a selfish thought but im thinking it..and I don’t even feel like i have good enough reasons to end my life when i hear about other people who have it much worse than me. i guess i’m just weak
WEAK.
UGLY.
STUPID.
LAZY.
FAT.
nothing will […]
(Sorry 4 my english i’m chilean) Why is always my fault? The answer from my parents always is “all these problems are your fault” really? Because all the problems starts 3 months ago when i played truant and i admit i play with my parents trust but they took off everything, i can’t go out, i can’t use my 10 ear rings and they say that ALL my friends are bad people and influence… I was desperate i was always wrong and always in a fight with them.. And i cut my veins by the first time e 3 months ago. Now only 3 people […]
i think that it is very sad to see people going through these rough times in their life and i can relate because im one of them. my name is faith and this is my real story. my depression started when my parents put down my dog, they didnt realize how strong my connection with her was. after that my depression got worse and i resorted to cutting and trying to kill myself. i wasnt happy anymore i wasnt that happy little girl who loved life and would help everyone else before herself. the only part of that little girl that is still alive is […]
My name is faith and I haven’t told anybody about my real story I’m not sure if i know it very well myself, anyways it all began when I was the happiest little girl you would have ever met. My best friend was my dog Zena she was always there to listen and she was always by my side to protect me she actually saved my life a couple of times. And then she became sick where she needed to take pills for medicine and everything was fine until one day where I knew something didnt feel right the morning of a school day but I […]
My life has been getting harder and harder. I’m completely fucked up. I’m sadistic.  Corrupted as a child, and now completely twisted inside. I’ve seen too much for a teenager. My family is the exact opposite of your typical white picked fenced happy-go-lucky families. My Dad a bipolar screaming gym head with horrid anger issues. My mother, too physically impaired to even care about anything but going back home to her “Real” family. I have no siblings. I have no friends. It’s hard enough that I’m extremely timid and shy, it upsets me to an extreme to simply look someone in the eye. But also people don’t […]
When I was a happy girl with no trouble everyone said they loved me, everyone wanted my company, but I started falling down, I didn’t do anything wrong it was just “life being a *****”… now I’m so alone… When I said to my friends “I’m sad” I cannot do this anymore” they freaked out and their only answer was: “Stop being so negative” “Don’t ever talk like this again”
So I come here… Lovely poem @sleepykarie91, nothing worst that the feeling of your friends  throwing you to oblivion
over the last couple of weeks, ive been depressed, i don’t know why and i dont know how i’ve gotten this way, i sit there and cry, i feel like nothing to anyone, i give up and just want to die all the time. Most people say i shouldn’t think that, because i’m 13 years old and i shouldn’t waste my life away, suicide isn’t the way to deal with it, i’ve cut myself, wished&cried that i didn’t want to be here so many times, people just don’t understand how i feel.. about anything? No-one knows why i’m like this, i don’t even know, i […]
I’m 26. Bipolar, student, mom. When I was a teenager my father shot himself and survived(thankfully) in our home. Every since that day my life change forever. I wasn’t the happy girl anymore. I thought as I got older things would get better, but my husband recently left us. I was abused in just about every way, but I am beyond sad over this loss. I constantly think about death and suicide. I also feel like a horrible parent. I wanted nothing more than to have a happy family for my son, but our home life was a nightmare. But now I have no one […]
I’m the type of girl to put on an act to keep the world off my back. Even when I’m trying to push them away, I actually just want someone to stop me and tell me I don’t have to pretend anymore. I’m the girl who sits in her room crying, thinking back to the past and wondering how I ever made it this far.
Everyday I go to school and pretend to be that happy girl you’ll find in every class. Everyone buys my act and they think I’m happy, that nothings wrong, but they’re all wrong.
There will never be a time where I’ve never […]
Hey my names Jasiel and I’m 12 years old. This is going to take me a lot of guts because I haven’t told anyone about my problem…it all started when I was 9, I was a happy little girl just walking by her self like always, the day was pretty and perfect. Until…all of a sudden everything changed to black. I wasn’t scared because I was used to the dark. But then something got my intention, it was just laying there hopelessly without any movement. It looked familiar and so I walked towards it, I turn it around so I […]
they say im in “la-la land.” i like it here, nobody’s mean to me. am i the happy girl everyone thinks i am? or is that just a shell that covers whats really there. do they think i dont care about not having friends? they could never be more wrong. if anyone knew i was really a depressed, suicidal, freak, than the rejection would be so much worse. i would love to kill myself and see if anyone noticed. even if they did, they wouldnt care. nobody cares. my whole life feels numb. i never really thought of myself as a cutter. i guess i […]
Okay, So I’m 15 years old and my depression all started near the end of summer. It all started a few days after my girlfriend decided to take a break. Just for a week. I lasted about 2 days, Then I gave her a choice. Get back together or never be together again….She told me her friend said that she shouldn’t have to choose if I really loved her. Well She couldn’t have been anymore wrong. I went on with my normal day after that, Got high, ate, then chilled with some friends. After the high wore off I started feeling lonely. I then turned […]
I used to be a happy girl that is contented with what I have in life. But not anymore, I’ve actually grown kind of tired living in this horribly morbid world. I have just turned 23, and for the past 22 years or so at least since the day I could remember, I give my best in everything that I do. Yes I admit that sometimes I am lazy and all but when it comes to work I make sure I give it my best.
There is something I never understood though – I offer the best that I can to my family and friends and […]