swearing helps yr.tolerance for pain physical or emotional explains alot. i love getting my frustrations out through writing. cheryl from wendys yr and old.ugly.masculin twofaced ****. mary who is debatable “nicer” is a crater faced ***** enthusiist who loves grease! she acts all friendly to the customers and then to you shes overcompansatingly mentaly sedistic with her “intimidating manner” s this **** loves being incharge. i sentence her to get her eyes poked out while getting it up the ass by cheryl. these two lowlife useless pussys can rot in hell while going thru what i had to endure […]
Honestly. I have such a broken heart, even if I’m 13. Who the fuck cares? I can’t feel loss at “such a young age”?? You try living my life, see what YOU think this is. I’m not weak. I was weak once. But I grew up. That’s right. 8 years old. My grandpa died, I had to grow up. Within 5 minutes, I was completely mature. I had to be. My grandma just lost it. I had to take care of my little sister. Of course, I was barking orders, but I had to. I pushed the feelings down. I was a drill sergeant for […]
I want to die. I want to escape this place where I get screamed at for being angry, where doors slam all the time.
Will someone hold me quietly, save me from this place? Can I even risk that?
I am cursed. I cannot have anyone love me. Or I will be trapped in this hell called life.
I need someone. Just someone. To talk to, to listen. To respect my decision.
And to not say that he will miss me.
I’d rather be nowhere than here.
So, I feel better every time I get on here, but I still feel terrible nonetheless. I’ve never been called fat or ugly or stupid in my life until I started hanging out with Emily. She puts me down constantly. I can’t stand it. I’ve told her to leave me alone, but she won’t listen. I do have some friends, but I don’t trust them. Not with everything. I can’t trust anyone anymore. And no, I’m not doing this because so many guys have been mean to me; I’m doing this because so many people in general have given me reason not to trust them. […]
Have you ever felt loss?
Like completely losing something or someone?
When everything you cared about was connected to your heartstrings, but it’s being brutally ripped away?
Like you’re being completely isolated from everything worth living for?
Have you ever truly experienced it?
Loss. Honestly I think it’s the worst feeling you could ever imagine.
Your whole body tenses and you just want to scream. And die.
You wake up in hell, and it’s not a dream.
It’s not possible to escape.
It’s fears favorite tool. Complete and utter loss.
You’re afraid you can’t survive on your own and you’re only breathing if your taking […]
I gain hope. I gain strength. But what do I not gain everyday after I cry and keep from cutting myself? A promise. I guess that’s okay, considering that promises mean nothing anymore, but still. They kick me down, I get up, they do it all over again. Harder and harder each time. Every. Time. Â It never fails. Trevor won’t even look at me anymore. It seems like no one will. Or they do, but every time they do, they laugh. The girl that was my best friend, Emily, turned on me. I’m talking complete 360 degree circle. She acts like I know nothing, mean […]
Ok here is the thing…i have a great family , they love me totally..my hubby is kind and understanding. I have reecently been blessed by a baby boy hwo is just a bundle of cuteness. I am inconstant touch with my parents an brother who care for me deeply. I had a great job..which i hated hwne i had but now that i have been kicked out i realise how good it was. With all these gods blessings…i am totally a fucked up loser. I hate the fact that i cant find another job. I hate my son when heis needy and cries for me. […]
Okay, so I was on Yahoo! answers or whatever thats called, and this girl’s question was “How can I become an Insomniac?”
What. The. Hell. Is. the. matter. with. you?
She said she wanted to be an insomniac because she doesnt like sleep and she never sleeps.
Okay, you moron, Ima tell you what I know about sleep and insomnia: (some are personal experiences)
1.Sleep deprivation cam KILL you.
2. Insomnia is HORRIBLE.
3. you are a moron
4. People with insomnia are tired as hell, but can’t fall asleep
5. without sleep, you can begin to halucinate and have suicidal thoughts.
6. a lot of other boring facts that no one cares about.
BOTTOM […]
I don’t want to live anymore. I hate life, I hate everything. I really want to take my life away but I can’t. I’m a Christian and believe in God. I don’t want to go to hell. My life is pointless. I go to these “special” classes, only two and I hate it. I was doing bad in school and got put there last year. That’s like telling me I’m dumb or something. I get a headache when I get there, I’m not the same. I tried asking my mom to put me in regular classes like the rest of my friends. I’m not dumb […]
Face it, friends want something. Whether it’s companionship, belonging, someone to talk to, someone to drive them home when they’re piss drunk, someone to borrow money from, someone to move furniture for free, or whatever, they want something. A successful friendship is based on a fair balance of giving & receiving these things. But some of us don’t want and don’t need any of those things. As a result we end up giving everything and receiving nothing. Friends serve no logical purpose. Oh but try going through life without friends and society labels you a freakshow, a misanthrope, a socially maladjusted head case. So every […]
I’ve found the holy grail of suicide methods, as it is apparently called. Painless, quick, easy. Only hard part is of course that you can’t get hold of it anywhere in the developed world. But now I know where to get it and I’m going there in a month. I just don’t know if I can go through with it. I imagine how devastated my mother would be and it makes it extremely difficult.
I’ve thought about what I would leave in a message to her and I think it would be like this: She always said she wanted the best for me and the truth, […]
The majority of the posts that I have read are from people in High School. I get it high school is rough. Other students are mean. And you feel Your teachers, parents and family don’t understand you. I was there too at one point in my life. I am hoping that by sharing my story I can give others hope for a better out-look on life. Now before I continue with my story I need to say that I have thought about killing myself, I thought about pain less ways and painful ways. I also thought of ways to make it seem like an accident. But […]
I die inside so you can smile
I limp to my room so you can run a mile
I wear rags so you can have style
I cry inside so you can play outside in the leaf pile
I can break this family with one phrase
I could end their naive daze
Mom won’t think its just a phase
and it wont just be my heart set ablaze
But quiet ill stay for the sake of them all
I can take the pain no matter how big or small
I can “Trip” down the stairs and fall
I can get hit in the face with a “Soccer ball”
I live in hell so you can live care […]
This is me.
This is how I feel, how I am.
Yet, when I put this as my facebook pic nowhere close to halloween…
No one asked why.
No one understood.
In fact, I got a few likes..as if people would appreciate me dying.
Currently in pain from physically fighting my ex boyfriend yesterday. My whole body hurts and it’s kindve hard to breathe.
I sit here in pain and still cant help to think that emotional pain is so much worse. Like I’d rather cut my skin than experience more of this emotional hell. Now I dont […]
Somebody in my philosophy class last semester suggested that maybe life is hell. She said, look at all the suffering and pain, doesn’t it seem sort of hellish the things that so many people have to go through? I didn’t know what to think then but now I believe her. This feels like hell, it hurts like hell. The emotional pain I have experienced as a result of depression is absolutely indescribable. There are no words. The feeling of wanting to die is so strong at times that it terrifies me. I know I am capable of acting on it. But I can’t, because I […]
My mother pushes me to the point where sometimes at night, I grab a kitchen knife and head towards her room and stand there, and watch her sleep…I feel the urge to stab her, and just end all the misery she gives me….but cause I’ll be studying law soon, my legal sense kicks in…and I do not want to spend 25 to life in prison….maybe I should murder her, then commit suicide…pondering many ideas….but haven’t chose one yet..
And just now we were in the car…and she was yelling at me, because she wanted to go somewhere and I didn’t know where it was but some how […]
I like how I can vent about how I’m going to try and suffocate myself tonight. Nobody on here knows who I am. I have the perfect life. Loving family, no real reason to kill myself. Yeah,but I’m delusional. I Am insane. My parents think I’m the happy perfect child with straight A’s but no,I’m not. I have no friends and I barely am able to get up in the morning and go to school another day. I don’t live,I survive. So I decided to die.I’m not sure if ill go to hell or if atheists are right. I’m a very messed up person. My […]
At Age ten I lost connection with the world when I started talking again to my father who was in jail at the time and I haven’t seen in person at the age of four before we moved from our Arizona home all the way to North Carolina. I was told but my mom that she can’t trust me and that I had betrayed her. Our relationship has plummeted to the ground. As I type this shes sitting across the room looking at me every once and a while at me wondering what I’m typing, and she’s probably thinking real hard about something stupid because I’ve lost the love towards her. My step dad whose been put trough […]
I don’t know if this website is for this type of comment but I’m going to post it anyway just to empty my head. I have seriously been pondering suicide for the past few weeks (again) and have gotten down to a few ways to do so. My dilemma is my precious dog, who is my companion and that I love more than anything. He is so very dependent on me that he will not leave my side for any reason. My problem is what will become of him if I leave this ugly world? I don’t know anyone who would give him the love […]
I swear, I have lead bones. they weigh me down. I promise you, I have water in my lungs. I drown all the time. I don’t know why I feel this way. I’ve never known why and that is the worst part. I live in a happy family and i’m the dark cloud. i’m the rain on their parade. I guess you could say I have a great life and looking at it from another point of view, I can see how that would be true. but I feel like I am dead on the inside. and I wish I was on the outside. I’m […]