I want to die. All I can think about is that, and how I have no friends (save for a few I have online), how I have never had a boyfriend (except for an online one), how I won’t ever be able to make friends or get a boyfriend in real life, how I’ve been sitting around the house doing basically nothing ever since I dropped out of school in March, how I won’t be able to start some (online) college classes this semester, how my parents have forever been disappointed in me, how I can’t get a job because I can’t drive yet, how I feel completely unmotivated […]
‘Pearls Before Swine’ by Stephan Pastis (May 6, 2012)
I’m not looking for advice at all since I have zero motivation to improve my lot in life. I’m merely writing this to ***** and vent and commiserate with any potential like-minded souls that might feel the same way while I’m still here.
I have no money. No job. And only got a high school diploma. I am 34 years old and am living with my parents, whom I […]
Lost all motivation. Don’t care about my life. Only care about my cats. Battling mental illness for three years. Invested a lot of time and money. Ruined my successful career. Keep deferring start of graduate school at one of the top universities in the world because I can’t find meaning or purpose to it. Totally black-balled in my line of work. For my last job interview, a former colleague was asked to inquire with me as to my “mental state” right now. If one more person tells me that I have so much going for myself, I will just lose it. My entire family (except for […]
I used to have such a passion for life. It breaks my heart every time I realize the extent and speed in which it’s dwindling away. What a waste. Agony grips my form when my thoughts turn to the past and I see what I once was.
All I want to do is go back, because I don’t believe in my future and I don’t believe in myself.
I like this song, listen away.
31 years and still nothing but wasted potential. Â A jack of all trades and a master of none. Â Still no purpose no sense of worth, a burden at best. The worst kind of person there is a liar, a thief, a disappointment, a complete fucking waste of life and space. Â A coward with the face of a bull the mouth of a lion and the bite of a tiger, Â for loved ones only of course. Â Who else exists my world is a small one. Â Ruled by vices, hopeless, hopeless, hopegone.
I am a waste…
I am not very good at this anymore but I didn’t know what else to do so here goes. I have spent the better part of the last 15 years thinking about suicide everyday. When I was young I actually attempted it a time or two. I used to talk about it, I used to write poetry and letters to deal with it, until one day it all blew up in my face. My “friends” Who “understood” all of a sudden didn’t anymore, my parents tried to have me committed, and my poems and letters were used against me. It all went to hell in […]
Since when did life become working 5 or 6 days a week. Sitting in traffic an hour each way mind you. Despite living less than 15 minutes away from work, it takes a miracle to get home in under an hour most days. All that just to barely make a descent income, to support myself, pay bills, and whatever is left that the government doesn’t take from me I save some and spend the rest on gas and groceries. It’s like an endless cycle. There’s no denying I’m depressed and in need of serious help. And I’m not talking about the help that comes in […]
We, people who lack strength, keep doing the same things repeatedly. We’ve forgotten the feeling of being alive. We can’t tell if we are living or dead. Do you feel that you are “alive†now? At this stage, only a thin line separates living and dead.Therefore the sayings, “life is valuable, you should not commit suicideâ€, “if you stay alive, everything will have a turning pointâ€, “your friends and relatives will feel sad for your death, so you have to stay alive†can all be put aside; these are not convincing anymore. The convincing words which can stop one from committing suicide vanish; the signal […]
I am 19 years old, have been suicidal for about 11 years, and seeing therapists for 7 or 8. I have also tried several different antidepressants with no results. It seems that it has gotten to the point where I just don’t do anything anymore, and frankly, I’ve become a complete waste of space. My parents and entire family have given up on me for the first time in my life, and I suffer from thoughts relating to solipsism non-stop. I am at the point where committing suicide is all that I care about, to the point where I would get rid of anything in […]
Everyday I wake up, hoping, today is going to show me something to live for. I feel like it’s groundhog day. Heh. Tuesday, after Tuesday, after Tuesday. Everyday, I wake up with hope, it’s the only thing that get’s me out of bed. Every night, I go to sleep, dead inside with tear stained eyes; because I live a life without love. My sister, always turning a cold shoulder. My mother, working as hard as she can to feed us and keep a roof over our heads, no time for me. My friend/the renter, going through emotional troubles herself and everyone always asks her for […]
I get tired of hearing that things will get better, just give it time, etc. Maybe they will get better or maybe they won’t, none of us can tell the future, but what about the time in-between? What about barely getting through the days and the nights, constantly hurting and wanting to die?  What if you just can’t take that anymore? I have waited and waited and waited and nothing has gotten better. Just when I think that it will get better for once, it all gets taken away.
I can barely get through everyday. I am constantly on the verge of tears. I cannot take this pain […]
Its been a really long time since I posted here. I thought, maybe I was getting better or stronger, but I was kidding myself, pretending to be happy in case the semblance eventually turned into something real. I try to be rational and tell myself I am not worthless, I am not ugly, I am not stupid, and I actually believe myself for a fraction of time. Then I go outside and try to interact with people and am reminded of how I have nothing to offer anyone. What am I missing that makes someone appealing to another human being? How did I get to […]
How on earth could I be fair that a 17 year old girl who is doing her trial HSC exams get pregnant, that’s not the unfair part, the unfair part is that she was so happy she realised that this child would be her reason to live, this child could save her, she was so happy, she was so ready, she knew she would probably be a single mother, but that was ok, she had support, she wanted to keep it, but no, she miscarried, she was so distraught that her depression became worse than ever, she began a month long bender, during which she […]
There is just simply no joy left in my life.
I’ve been in therapy a few times. And I eventually do see improvement, but it takes years of work; painful work. And it’s expensive, it sucks to throw a lot of time and effort and money into this just get up to a baseline where I can function.
I have cycled back to hopelessness, despair and a deep depression again. I think this is the worst yet. Added to my black mood are some financial hardships that are becoming overwhelming. We can’t register the cars, our health insurance has lapsed. My husbands’ income is commission only and […]
I see absolutely no point of being around.I just keep forgetting that and end up backing out of suicide before its to late.I cant keep doing that.Im not meant to be was never meant to be.My oldest sister will be leaving soon off to college i will never hear or see her again.I cant deal with that.
If i continue to live i will be homeless or institutionalized.My best friend says shell take care of me but she cant take care of herself let alone can i.I dont know how to survive this world.I cant survive this world.Ive thought of seeing if i can hang […]
I’m scared to get close and i hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher i get, the lower i’ll sink.
I can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety issues, as well as PTSD a few months ago now. I’ve had a doctor, a counsellor, a psychologist and a psychiatrist all working really hard with me to try and straighten some stuff out, and we were doing really well for a while there. I took all the meds, I answered all the questions, I attended every appointment, I talked, I listened, I did everything they all said. But I am so tired and so worn down, that I think I’ve finally had enough.
I cancelled my psychologist appointment this week. She is an incredibly talented woman, so good […]
I hate it when people try to cheer me up, yes, I know, it’s instinctive- they probably don’t know what else to do. But it kills me inside when they talk about hope, the future, what good may come. It kills me. It’s just digs me deeper.
I’m so tired of no one understanding, Â of being so alone.
I know I’ll never be able to move out, I know I’ll never be able to have a successful life. When my mother can’t support me anymore, I’ll just have to live on the streets.
I can’t imagine myself being old, I’m too much of a defeatist that I’m prone […]
I’m 18 years old and I feel trapped in my life. Every single day since I can remember, I’ve woken up miserable and hating myself. It started when I was 4 years old and my parents got divorced. My dad got married a few months later and I lost almost all contact with him aside from our three hour visits each month, which are forced and I dread going to. I grew up living in an apartment complex and my family was in a horrible financial situation. My mom would yell and complain and take out her depression on me and my siblings every day of every year. She and […]
I fell like there’s a stone destroying my chest..
my body has banned me cry..
I refused to look sad at school or in front of my friends..
I have to be a support to my friends
I have to stop cutting
I’m the only who want to scream?
my world is in other dimension..
please just tell me that I’m not the only one feeling like that right now
nesecito contarle a alguien mi vida pero tengo tanto miedo de darle mis problemas a otro, ser feliz no era lo mas importante? no tengo corazon, estoy sola, me siento asi pero me da miedo […]