I honestly thought this summer I would be able t talk and hang out with my friends. My best friend said that no matter what I needed, she would be there for me. This morning I got in a huge fight with my mother, she threatened to hit me which made my dad step in and tell her to back off. I’m honestly lucky that he is there for me. But even though the fight was over, I still felt horrible. The things she said hit me like a bullet to the heart. Reality hit me, it hit me hard. I felt like […]
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horrible
The past few months have been utter hell. The love of my life dumped me and since we have the same friends, they all dumped me too. I used to live in a house with all of them and now I am out cold on my own. I have done absolutely nothing to my friends to hurt them, yet they have been cruel to me for no reason and ditched me. They were my friends first. They ditched me because they couldn’t be assed to help me out, he wasn’t hurt, so oh let’s all side with him and leave her for the rats. I […]
I have considered suicide and homicide intermittently for years because I have trouble living with the knowledge of how horrible people are,and the despicable things they do. I feel more homicidal tonight,but thats a Good thing..its much less painful,and its pretty fucking fun,too.. If you could take a moment to consider my note,id appreciate it immensely. Has anyone ever heard of a song called “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang”? Well,look-if not you need to jump over to Youtube and witness the spectacle of a loincloth/ bikini clad Ted Nugent wearing Uggs (of course I know theyre not real Uggs,duh.they werent IN back then,but it sounds funnier.he […]
I have to leave this area. I live in East Greenbush NY and I have to get out. This is a horrible area to live in. To live here you either got to be rich and snotty or a druggie. The people here have bullied me all my school life going here until I transferred to an alternative school. I’m to the point I don’t talk to anyone from here anymore. I use to have friends who were decent and pretty cool. I knew there were rumors about me going around but recently, not too long ago I found out about some other rumors besides […]
As I read the stories about all the horrible things some of you have experienced, it makes me think about why those things have happened. It is NOT because you are ugly. It is NOT because you arent worth it. It is NOT because you aren’t kind, or smart, etc. There are people out there who are just bad people. They see your sadness as a vulnerability and take advantage of that to poison you with hatred. Do not let them win, do not let them turn your sadness into bitterness. Love always stands strongest in the end. This will be the last time that […]
So I’ve been trying for so long, but literally every breath I take hurts. Every time I see him smile at another girl it kills me. Every time I see my ex-best friends laughing and smiling, I catch my breath and I want to crawl into fetal position and cry. I miss them so much, and they all knew my darkest secrets. They knew just how much they meant to me, and they left me in the fucking dust. I became the girl who never said a word in class because if I did I might just spill my guts to everyone. I went from […]
I can’t take this hospital. I’ve tried to hold it together, I’ve tried to be strong, for you guys and for my sister, but I don’t know if I can anymore. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’ve had a complete 180 turn since I was admitted 2 days ago. I feel like there isn’t hope anymore. I just can’t live with my past… it’s too horrible. The only reason why I’m wondering if I shouldn’t is because I don’t know how my sister would react. I think she’d blame herself, and I don’t want that. I just want her […]
How did i find this website? umh yes i was looking up overdose options. idk i’m at the point of my life that even though im so young i’m kinda ready to throw in the towel, i’m pregnant and i’m being forced to have an abortion, i dont want to cus its just horrible, but it that happens i rather just go with the baby too. maybe im over reacting im not sure but i feel too depressed.
I dont know what to do with myself….i feel so lost…ive given so much to accomplish something, and it lead me nowhere… now im back to case 1 and i just feel like shit…all i can think about is death because each time i think about doing something else and moving on with my life … i get this horrible anxiety feeling and it paralyze me to the bone… if anyone wants to talk to me on skype…maybe it would help, i dont know how to get out of this mess…planning to stay at my parents house hidden in my bedroom until i die or […]
no one cares, so i dont even know why i need to write this. (i wish i could get a horrible disease and be gone!….it is so unfair that people that are loved, needed and wanted get these horrible, incurable diseases….while, i who have no one and wants to die…stays half-way healthy. I’ve never understood this miscarriage of justice!!!) the thieves (my deceased sister’s young adult children) need not ever show their face around me.(dead or alive) i would like to think, as i did discussed with my brother’s daughter and her husband (man! he is so great to me!…as much as he […]
Well lets start with this. My first suicide attempt was when i was 12, its only gotten worse from there. I was so horrified from even the thought of ever wanting to hurt myself. Then my mind just got so damaged with my own horrible thoughts. I tried to hang myself with a belt in my bedroom when no one was home. Back then no one knew about my depression. Not my family, friends, no one. Yeah, life sucks, right?
Hey everyone. I’m 24 years old, currently in grad school. I lead a relatively comfortable life except for a few cases of domestic violence (from family and partners) and a sexual harassment experience. I work, and I volunteer, and I have a few hobbies I enjoy.
But something I’ve been feeling lately leaves me hopeless, stuck, and miserable.
I’m working at an internship I hate. I thought I’d like it but I hate being in front of a computer for eight hours a day. The thought of working hard through college and grad school to just sit at a desk for the rest of my life sounds […]
Everywhere I go people have something horrible to say about me, whether it’s that I’m an idiot / retard / moron / ugly or disgusting… they just never have anything positive to say and lack the empathy or sympathy to understand how much it hurts. I have no chance of survival because is no way for me to escape emotional pain. Some people would laugh at me behind my back or right in my face and say things like “he’s the ugliest person I’ve ever seen” or “he’s a worthless piece of shit” and some things that people have said have really stuck with me […]
I don’t want to die. I really don’t. Except everyday I go to sleep I wish this is the end. I wish I wouldn’t wake up. And every time I wake up I’m disappointed I did. And then I feel horrible about wanting to die when there are so many people who would give anything to live. So maybe I do want to die, but I just don’t want to kill myself. It’s why I had to stop the cutting, if I kept at it I would have killed myself.
There is a pit in my stomach and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I […]
Finally I can have this back. Finally got *him* to leave this alone. God where the hell do I start? I was in the bathroom one day and I just filled up the tub. No bubbles. No nothing. It’s not like I was trying to have a bubble bath. And I got in and went underwater. As long as I could. Knowing that I’ll struggle and finally come up for air once I can’t take anymore. But I wanted to suffer. Feel me black out. I sat there for 2 hours of just complete silence. I’ve had a relapse and it’s horrible.
I really should be studying for my history exam but I can’t seem to stop thinking about suicide. I don’t know what to do ,I’ve been like this for so long. I’m scared of my own mind , I’m afraid of what I’m capable of. I’m only 14 by the way. I just feel horrible about myself , I try so hard in everything I do but it’s always not enough for some people. I push everyone away from me I’m so isolated in my own little world. School gets out Friday . I guess I made it through my freshmen year. I wasn’t at […]
Hi
I’m completely new to this site and I’m not really sure what kinds of things people post but here goes.
I am 23 years old and people think I’m a happy and normal person but I’ve been suffering from bipolar disorder for 5 years. The depression I experience in cycles is becoming too much and I can’t hide it anymore. When I’m like this I am such a drain on my family and I just don’t see an end to it. This is why I want to end it all.
There is one thing stopping me. Despite being completely non religious, I keep having this horrible anxiety […]
Hi, me again. I don’t know what I am really saposto post on this but I do know that what I have already had people say, and the advice they have given, that this is a good community, like no other I have ever seen on the Internet, or even in real life. Call me morbid but I think to be in a community and act the way that I have seen so far, something must have gotten fucked up in your life, but that dose not make you bad, worthless, or less meaningfully than anyone else in the world now dose it. Now to […]
So, only 2 tablets for depression and the rest for other things, but they aren’t even making a difference…the doctor says ‘no amount of dosage is going to make this go away so you need to figure out what it is that’s really bothering you’ um, I know full well what bothers me but most of the things that do are beyond my control and I cannot change them. I just don’t belong here you know?
I have online therapy because that was the quickest form of help they could give me…I have been feeling so anxious this week:( I’m not even really sure why, I […]
Recovery is horrible….. I managed to get myself trapped in a downward spiral towards hell. During this spiral, I let myself become a monster, a monster who found relief in a razor and comfort in rushing blood, more than human contact. My cravings are a battle. Everywhere I look I see failure and relapse, sharp edges and broken skin…. I find myself thinking back to the nights I would stain my hands crimson and tear my soul apart, piece by piece. Sometimes I catch myself running my hands over the bands of purple covering my thighs and arms, remembering exactly how it felt to […]