I wish to terminate the continuance of a certain existence,
though it is obvious that the identity is of someone regarding myself,
I do not wish to expose the exact identity of the person[s] involved.
So I will simply yield this Inquisition:
Why not?
The hour grows short; hasten your responses
It all started on the 25/08/13,
I had just gotten home from drama eisteddfods, which I had been placing in really well and winning majority, my weekend was going great, I also for once had a boy that was interested in me! I know can you believe it me!. When I got home I started talking to that boy and he was having a hard time with his depression and I was helping him. And then it happened. I logged onto Facebook and I see a post in a secret group that I’m in, (my acting class) and it says that Sam Cannon has […]
I have a stepsister who goes through all the shit I do and shes my only family I have left. Shes 17 and just found out that she wont be able to leave home cuz of legal troubles my stepdads fault but I walked into our bedroom and found her sobbing on her bed. Her wrists were cut so deep it was scary you could see the bone only a little bit but still the cuts went the whole way up her arm. I ran out of the room to get a towel and gauze I was gone for like 5 minutes and when I […]
As of right now, I’m at the bottom of the pit. If you look at my charts, I should be doing okay. But I feel so utterly depressed. I haven’t smoked weed or cigarettes in a month, and I’m not abusing my medicine. I’m also seeing a therapist and have hung out with my friends more often. Well, my clean friends that is.
Of course there’s a dark side though. I started drinking again. It’s not a lot, but I know it’s not good for me. Honestly though, if I don’t have a piece of the old me, I fear I’ll go insane. The thing is, […]
For a long time now I’ve been subconsciously planning my suicide. My main reason for this is this ever growing sensation of “weltschmerz” – feeling the pain of the world and the uselessness of existence and living.
I have a good job that pays well. I am married to a woman that loves me, I have two beautiful and adorable children and still these aren’t good enough reasons for me to keep on living.
For as long that I can remember, I’ve been trying to live life, but never really knowing how. On the outside I’m am successful, but on the inside there is only this […]
My dad hung himself on March 18th, 2013. Actually it could have been the 19th no one is exactly sure. It was my spring break and I was at the beach with a few of my friends and my girlfriend. I didn’t find out til that Thursday which I think was the 21st. My phone had been dead for a day or two and I didn’t bother to charge it, I guess I didn’t think anything important was going to happen. I finally charged and turned off my phone and saw that I had received a text from my rabbi and a woman in my […]
I’ve tried and failed and I want to do it again i cut everyday and the only one how is stoping me is my friend I have been called a disease a parasite ugly fat and that I should kill myself one of my best friends hung himself and I want to die to every day I think about it and I even find things I would do it with I’ve tried hanging and it dissent work so have any other ideas of how to die
fourth grade and things didnt get better. People didnt really talk to me and if they did, they never had anything nice to say to me.I constantly got called names; Fatty, little miss piggy, worm (because i had my hair braided and they looked like little worms), four eyes, book worm, slob, ugly etc. I became very drawn back and I started to write poetry. My first poem was called no one cares about me. its a self explanatory poem. the names got to me. they weighted on my heart so much. I became bitter towards the world. I started to get a really bad attitude. I fought back […]
I still remember it.
As if it was just the other day.. But it wasn’t.. It was a while ago. But I still remember. My first kiss.
We hung out a lot that summer.. Doing a whole lot of nothing.. But just being with her gave me a good feeling.. Sometimes we’d play video games, listen to music, watch movies.. Or just sit and talk.. I miss those days.. Before everything became so complicated..
She had a thing for bitting.. She bit my ear a lot.. Eventually moving onto biting my nose.. When ever shed go to bite my nose, I’d tilt my head up slightly to […]
No one has any idea how completely suicidal I am. I know everyone out there must think I should get help. But I do not want help. I want to kill myself before anyone realizes I should get help. And now again, I know what you must think, well why would you be posting on a public forum? Well, I have just bottled up everything for so long without being able to tell a soul. All of my true feelings about everything have just been trapped inside me. I have to lie to everyone about everything all the time. It’s horrible. I literally refuse to […]
I’m only 17. I am going through shit right now. Exactly a year from today I was on this site. A year ago i felt like killing myself so badly that it had never got to me like that.
I will try to make this short and summarize everything.
My life began taking its downhill when i was in 6th grade. My parents got divorced and it affected me. I hated my dad. I never hung out with him unless my mom made me.
My dad always called me a hoe since I was in 7th grade. He never felt proud of me really. I […]
Well, There was a boy and a girl, they’ve met once before about 6 years ago now, I believe, anyway they had lost contacted until last year when their friends had  told them about each other. Now, they started talking , and talking they both knew what they have been through and they both knew how they felt, if one was not happy the other one wasn’t well it toke a few months until they started dating, but when they dated, man were they cute, they did have there ups and downs but they go through it, until he had to move, his dad had died and his grandparents so he had to move somewhere far, they didn’t see each […]
It all started at the beginning to high school, 9th grade.
I fit in perfectly, I made new friends everyday, hung out, went to parties, dated. Normal stuff that people would expect a normal teenager girl to do. But…I wasn’t exactly happy. Sure during the moment of all those parties and drinks and even experimenting with weed a few times (nothing I’m proud of anymore) I was happy. But after that adrenaline rush went away, and I sat in my bed looking up at my bedroom ceiling, I knew I wasn’t happy.
I guess I could say it started when I met Joe. He wasn’t someone that went to my […]
Life is so impossible. I mean you look at other people, and their lives seem so great. But then I think about myself…I have nothing to live for. The feeling of worthlessness and feeling inadequate follows me everywhere.
Is it fated that I won’t be happy? All I really want is to be happy. I’m hung in a bad place, where I can’t get down from and the outlook is horrid.
So I made the noose today and hung it in my outside storage. So whenever I’m ready and I feel the urge… I’ve been cutting and purging for the last few days… it seems to help for a moment but not completely. I’ve been in the hospital twice and I go to therapy wkly and am on an antidepressant but I don’t remember a time when my depression and thoughts have honestly been this bad. I dunno how to control my emotions… I’ve been diagnoised with borderlin personality disorder and am very embarressed by what I’m going thru. I dunno if it will be tonite, […]
So lastnight, i had a dream i hung myself, mabe its becuase ive made attemps already, and soon another, anyway.. i know thats how i will die, its just a matter of time, im thinking now what day i will try again.
I tried this time I really did, but it seems no matter how hard I try I can’t be happy and slip back into depression harder than before. I hide behind a fake smile, I always have, but now I can’t even be bothered to put that mask on anymore. I genuinely tried to change my life and be happy but it hasn’t worked, just like the previous times I’ve tried. Therapy has never worked, pills have never worked and trying to be proactive has never worked. Maybe I’m just broke, but the problem is there doesn’t seem to be a fix. I tried to […]
Growing up, I was that girl who always believed (and had been told) I was fat and ugly and that even makeup and surgery wouldn’t fix that (still have only worn makeup once in my life, and that was for a performance). I also embraced the label the perfectionist “nerd” and girl who hung out with the “weirdos” of the school (I love them <3), so I know what it is like to cop a lot of crap and be bullied. And even though I consider myself someone who doesn’t let verbal abuse affect them, I know what is is like to feel like crap […]
In 8th grade, I was 13, I was 5’5″, and I was 125lbs. I was teased for eating too much and being overweight, when in reality I knew I wasn’t. I knew at the beginning anyway. I’d been bullied my entire life, and I could shake this off easily.
For a while.
My eyes were convinced first. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat girl. An ugly girl. When I looked down at my stomach, I always sucked it in for about an hour afterwords.
My mind followed suit. I thought I was fat. I looked at every meal I ate and started trying to leave some every […]
she was like a mom to me, a figure i never had before,i loved her when she was gone, and i hated her when she was around, she was either in an over protective mood were she drove me crazy, or in a cool person mood, were you could tell her anything and not be scared,i was never use to someone being so protective over me, i was always use to being kicked out of the house and left to sleep out side under a pine tree,where noone wondered or cared if i was even alive,but with her,if i came in the door a minute […]
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