i want to give up. im not even sure life is worth living anymore. so sick of always feeling like im worthless. sometimes i wonder if anyone would even notice i was gone.
Last October i did something stupid. I don’t regret it…i just wish it had worked sometimes. I’m fucked. I OD on a shit ton of different pills. I came home one day from school and i didn’t plan it, it just happened. I just didn’t think i could go on anymore. i gathered everything i could get my hands on. Around 430 i took them all. At 5 my sister called my brother and I to have dinner. I started getting light headed and hurried to do the dishes and get back to my room. I quickly wrote a note to a couple friend, which […]
When i was 16 my life was simple, i had many friends, i was the funny bestfriend, and i dont know anything but happiness. Though my mom works abroad its okay cause im used to it, she’s been in another country for five years. I live with my dad, we are not close so i dont really talk to him that much. I had a boyfriend and we both loved each other so much. But when i started to feel uncontented i started cheating on him over and over again. I would also say hurtful words to him, i made him feel useless. and i […]
I have no one. My best friend don’t give a f* about me. I had a fight with his friend and he forced me to apologize with them even though it wasn’t fault so i sacrifice my dignity and apologized to them. We were best friend before i had a fight with his friends , he stops hanging out with me and left me sit alone in the class . I start to have my lunch alone in the school , feeling helpless in the class . I tried to overdoes paracetamol and ended up vomited all of them out and i never going to […]
So i left off with that abusive fuck i think i was on when i was 16. Okay so here goes part two….tried to get away..i started dating this othey guy i dated him for 2 years he treated me really good he helped me alot…i cheated on him though in the beginning of our relationship with the abusive fuck because he threatened to kill himself i talked to him tryed to make sure he was okay. I eventually told my bf what i had done he was really upset i dont blame him he didnt blame me either. I hated myslef though he was […]
This is my first post here. I found this website when i was googleing on nebtual substitute. Thats where i am now. I know what i need to aquire, but it seems inpossible. So i look for the next best thing..
I have been down for the last 15y, and i have tried everything there is. It wont get better. Im diagnosed with a “personaltiy dissorder” so that means that no drugs on earth will ever cure me. Well, exept for one, the one that let me sleep forever.
I have 3 children and a girlfriend since 9y. Me, i am 29y.
But i dont feel anything special, […]
so ever since i was young i always remember my dad hitting my mom for… well? i guess cheating and i always saw him hit her, i would hear her screaming and crying then after that he would yell at me and my sister for dumb shit. he used to hit us badly with a thick leather belt that would leave marks on our legs and back sometimes buries.i was always scared to call the cops and the fear of my siblings being taken awake and separated into different foster families. it kept going for many years. i always loved my mom and felt sorry […]
this is gunna take a lot off courage so yeah, im fed up with people bullying me now and they say i ask for it, well i dont, ever since secondry i was bullied so much, i was bullied to the point were i wanted to end my life, i came home day after day crying, i never coped well in school and even at college i got bullied, i was so insecure about my self i used to wear make up/foundation because i wansnt happy with my skin i hated having spots wearing foundation gave me a confidence boost untill i got bullied for […]
my past is bad i was sexually abused and beat. My real dad died when i was two of a car wreck.Ive attempted suicide three times in my life and the last time i almost ended it. I still self harm and its how i cope with all the things that i go through.
its a descent into madness, the told me so
oh will you please not go
the journey down was a quick little trip
you fall when you slip
i tried to get out but i was held down
we told you to stick around
the padded cell was almost complete
there words were laced with deceit
we only want to help you they cooed
did they know that lying was rude?
i felt so violated when the smiled
there teeth were all filed
this will be quick the assured me
it would be better if they just killed me
that’s not the right attitude to have
oh darling, according to you i’m mad
it seems everything i do now is just for attention, however i can’t tell. Am i just lying to myself and others? Am i making things up and actually fooling myself? am i really doing everything i have done for her? do i really love her? could i ask the same about my past relationships? was it my fault they ended? did i do something wrong? am i the reason my best friend is so suicidal and depressed, who is now losing her life slowly because she overdosed? is it me? or others? why does life and nature have such a cruel yet realistic cycle […]
The only thing that is keeping me alive now is knowing that i don’t have the proper stuff to do it with. yes i studied all the methods but many are not a guarantee. The biggest issue with me is suffering. I don’t want to do it in a way that makes me suffer, or i end up surviving but physically and mentally disabled. For me its not about an attempt, but success. Thought about shotguns and read about the exact place to shoot. but hell sometimes those are not a sure thing. Plus some of those bad boys are expensive and I wouldn’t wanna […]
I’m terrible with writing so please excuse how shitty this might come out. My name is Dorothy I am 18 years old and I have been depressed since about 9th grade. I grew up happy-mostly anyways. I had some issues with my mom but i was fine without her i don’t think that is the reason for my depression. I have not been diagnosed and not many people know about it. As in even my best friend doesn’t know. I have cut before but no one has noticed. My friends did in the first few years of high school but they have long forgotten now. […]
yesterday when i was done and tried to kill myself, i found out something new about myself :i’m so coward . i was REALLY angry of being alive but i couldn’t kill myself i couldn’t cut my wrist with blade. i tried but it was painful so i just ended up crying like a little child and now i have another reason to hate myself. i always thought that i can kill myself if i really want to but i was absolutely wrong.
my sister told me that she loves me and begged me not to kill myself. i remember once she cried so hard on […]
Of late i’ve felt as if i’m slowing down and time is speeding up. Every day i seem to take longer and longer to complete my daily tasks. Each day i feel as though my energy is diminishing. I’ve lurked on this site for a while, this is my first post here.
My first thoughts of suicide were when i was 14, i’m 24 now. A decade of wanting to die, wishing for it but never really acting on it. I’d keep coming up with plans and then never execute them. Will i ever do it? I don’t know. I feel like i’ve been here a […]
My ex boyfriend and I broke up 9 months ago, it feels like it happened just last week. How easily he could move on, just left me there waiting for him. He wasn’t man enough to tell me he had found someone else, instead he led me on thinking that we were still on a “break”… Having to find the truth out myself was so heart wrenching, would not ever comprehend why he could not be upfront about it. Months and months pass and he will come back looking for a friendship not knowing i was still in love with him, having to see him […]
Where do i start well first and most importantly i love my family but sometimes i feel they dont love me back.I have been having these thoughts for a while now,everything in my life is just gone wrong.For one i cant find a girlfriend but that’s mostly because deep down inside im really afraid of rejection.My sister is on dyalisis and needs a kidney,so me and my mother take of her together because my sisters father was deported a while ago and he has never took […]
I think about myself and the world but l can’t understand why we are here then l decided until I’m alive never,never think about this things again.
Even though my life is like a black hole and l want die but life doesn’t stop
But when i was near to the death my friend from the school give me a message about their music concert
I don’t want go but he insisted and l think that is not bad to do something new therefore while i wasn’t sure about that, l went and when it began my heart began to throb, Music is wonderful it’s my reason for […]
the person you knew is dead
let go of who i am now but never forget who i was
why won’t you call
any of you
i’m just tired of being forgotten
i’m not doing this to hurt you
but i want you to hurt
Okay so I’ve been asked to share my story and here it is.
I am a 17 year old female and I have cancer.
I was diagnosed about this time last year and I was told that I have a 75% chance of surviving. In November I had my right leg amputated, just above the knee. I am still on chemo.
When I was about 13-years old, my best friend died. This had a major impact on my life. I couldn’t eat, sleep or even talk to anyone. My parents started taking me to a psychologist but it didn’t help. I was taken to a specialist and i […]