Today I woke up and felt like dying. This isn’t unusual anymore. It took me a while before I talked myself into pulling back the duvet and putting on a shirt. Everyone thinks I’m fine. I smile and try to laugh, but laughing seems like a pathetic attempt at breathing lately. I’ve felt so alone, even in a room full of people. I hardly see the point of carrying on anymore. What’s the point of trying if I’m going to die anyway? I like to think of myself like a glass vase that someone dropped. You can pick the broken glass up and glue it back […]
Tag:
in my head
Every thump of each fireworks sounds like a million bullets in my head because I know she’s somewhere looking up smiling with him giving him the same look she gave me once. I want these lights to stop so I can finally fall asleep. I wish there was something I can take that didn’t make me selfish. I’m so alone so alone in this wretched mind. It’s normal now the pain.it feels normal now. The constant anxiety the constant panic it all seems so..welcoming. I’m dead to her today. I’m dead to everyone. I’m waiting to see how long until my courage builds up enough […]
Ive started hearing voices again at night, without any real cause. They whisper my name and other little things to hushed to really make out. Its still taunting though, always enough to catch my attention and startle me. I really hate it. It makes me question what reality is, whose really there…I know its all in my head but its so hard to ignore. So hard to push away.
They keep trying to get me to do things. I cant function anymore…i cant be social anymore. I hate even stepping out of the house. I dont even feel safe when i sleep. What is actual sleep […]
i’m really devestated even though many good things happined during the last periode of my life (i succeeded in finals and i’m gonna go to college ) but none of that made me feel better i still feel like i’m a looser and worthless person even though i see no reason why i should feel like that but i’m so paranoid i can’t trust anyone and i feel like no one love me they are all pretending..how could any one love or even like someone like me and i can”t make good relationships with girls cause whenever a girl date me and be nice to […]
Theres this nonstop pounding in my head. I still haven’t found away to slow my thoughts. I just bleed them out onto a piece of paper, but still I’m overflowing. Craving silence, but I don’t know if I will ever find that. I’d kill for someone to hold me and lie to me. Tell me I’m okay. Tell me I haven’t completely lost it. Tell me anything but the truth. I’m not ready to fall yet, but this whirling and buzzing is dizzying. I just want to feel safe. I want to let go of my fear and paranoia. If only it could be that […]
new to site I thought I’d tell my story. I first took psch meds at age 16 after becoming depressed for no reason. within an hour of being put on one med I felt something tear in my head. for the next 30 years I dealt with these sensations progressively getting worse but I tried to have a life anyway and used alcohol to numb the sensations and cope with the anxiety it caused. basically I became a highly functional alcoholic and had a good career, a wife and kids. four years ago the brain tearing apart sensations got much worse and I have pretty […]
Until the day you break. I can’t even smile anymore, let alone think straight. I don’t know what happening in my head right now, it feels like I’m drunk, nothing’s registering. I’m a disgrace to my family, it would be better for them if I just left. It’s stupid too cause they’re the only reason I’m still here. Life’s fucked I guess.
Does anyone know a forum or website where people can talk strategies and things like that?
Hi, I’m new to this…..and I’m crying right now. I started getting depressed in the 9th grade and that was when my doctor prescribed me anti-depressants. And that was when I wanted to die so I took 5 of those pills but nothing happened. Through time I got better and better until a couple of months ago I started having suicide thoughts and actually cut myself. I’m a religious person and so after that I prayed and promised I would never try it again. I told my mom I was having suicide thoughts and she comforted me and told me it was okay […]
Do you guys know?
Do you guys understand?
I think so, your’e all so nice. I love you all but it’s my time. I just had a very scary episode. My family is downstairs and they’re all going to try to kill me. This doesn’t even make sense, but I guess it proves that I am truly insane. I put my lucky dice near the door to stop them from coming in and it’s working. I have voices in my head, they tell me to kill people (mainly myself), they are Shirley and Danny. They’re so nice to me sometimes, everyone else is trying hurt […]
Maybe it’s just me over thinking. Maybe it’s just my imagination. Maybe it’s just the memories. Maybe it’s just the voices in my head and the demons inside of me. Every night I undergo a spell that won’t set me free even when the sun rises and the dark is supposed to go. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want my demons to drown, but sadly they know how to swim..
6-6-15 12:21 am I changed! I changed everything. I walked out on 20 years. I walked away from what wasn’t healthy for me. I started over. It’s not easy. I have $7 fucking dollars in my account until payday. This is HARD. I am working it out. I am learning who I am. I am trying to be myself for the first time in 20 years. I want to grow. I am open to new things. New flavors. New cities. I will not close off any experience for fear or sameness any more. I will try.
But I want us. It’s really all I’ve ever […]
for a number of years i have felt depressed suicidal i lost mum i was 21 then after went on a downward spiral lost my partner my kids because things got out of control i lost mum and i was just a mess i lost everything i ever live for, but can never find an easy way i have taken many overdoses have self harmed and i agree with some people on here totally that for some of us there is no way out we cant change our mind frame we dont see a light at the end of the tunnel maybe i will keep […]
I don’t know if you’ve seen that slam poem, but you should. You know the one by the guy who has bipolar disorder where he says “I think a lot about killing myself, not like a point on a map but rather like a glowing exit sign at a show that’s never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave” and then goes on to talk about the future and make you cry? I watched that poem once and I remember that line sticking with me, always in the back of my head, always there when I was feeling like doing it.
I think my method would […]
I really don’t want to die but I feel like it’s the only thing I can do to escape everything that haunts me in my head and my life. I just can’t stand my thoughts and insecurities, therapy and medication are a bunch of horseshit I know this firsthand as I’ve been on countless medications etc. The only thing that breeds a positive change are life CHANGES and improvement. Nothing gets better if nothing ever changes. I don’t want to fucking hold myself back anymore, I want to be free. I feel like I’m imprisoned in my mind and it’s been too long like this, […]
This is the crap in my head. It will probably never go out to anyone but maybe if I post it here it will help me.
I cheated on my boyfriend with my supervisor. After being with him for 10 years and begging him for marriage and kids, after he broke up with me twice I cheated on him. Through the years everytime I felt neglected or ignored i’d get depressed and flirt with guys around me. I never actually liked, was attracted to or gave a shit about these people but the attention was like a drug a quick hit to make me feel better. […]
I have a 2yr old and 4yr old and I never thought I would be in this place. However I’ve been sick too long now. I’m tired of doctors visits and fighting. 5 days that’s when it started the desire to just disappear. After all one moment of pain for my children can save them from a lifetime of watching their mother die. My husband building more debt and being my babysitter. All I’m becoming now is a pathetic meat sack anyway. So what’s the point. They will blame it on the tumurs in my head and my family will be free from me. There […]
It’s a constant battle up in my head, and I’m tired of people putting me down and calling me stupid for something that they don’t have to deal with themselves.
http://youtu.be/fNx2Fmdp-4Y
Hi,
I’ve decided I’m going to end my life in just under 14 days. That’s fairly soon, but it’s my time to go… and we all know that when it’s time – it’s time. But first, a little about me:
I’m 26 years old, worked a job like no other and had been married for three years. I left my old job and ended up working in construction and telecommunications for a time, before meeting the supposed “love of my life”. Not many people escape my old job, but I managed to. I didn’t let it change me and a voice in my head reminds me that […]
I have a wife and a great mam and dad. I feel selfish for wanting to kill myself as I know it will finish these people. I have tried tablets before and ended up in hospital for a day or so! I was 23 at the time, unhappy with my friends, my job and being lonely! am no longer alone but lately (last two years) I’ve just hit rock bottom. I’ve made it to 32 years old and feel the world as nothing more to show or offer me! I feel emotionless writing these words as I’ve heard them in my head so many times […]
Im 17 years old. My dad is a heavy drinker and is addicted to meth. When I was younger my dad used to touch me inappropriately when he was all strung out on meth. Everytime I now see him strung out, I play the moment of him touching me. I’m scarred for life. I can’t look at my father the same. I smoke weed to cope. I am really depressed with my home life. No one in my family has ever graduated from my moms side or my dads side, an I want to be the first. But I don’t .believ in myself. I lack […]