Tag:

in pain

Save yourself

by hussofhips 7/7/2015

written by hussofhips

Its sad to think about, but so many of us are alone.
And we can not expect help to fall at our feet.
But from what I’ve learnt, only you, can save yourself.

How are you? Are you okay? Are you safe? Are you questioning yourself? Questioning your sanity? Deciding if you really wanna live on this shitty ass planet?

Well welcome to the party.
A party where lonely souls are never fully understood but voices are always heard.

You’re in pain? Can’t take it anymore? So sick of your life?

I understand. She understands. He understands. We’ve all been there. He’s there now. She fighting […]

7/7/2015 7 comments

I am the VICTIM

by thevictim 7/6/2015

written by thevictim

I am the victim of suicide. The one who is alive and is going to be in pain for the rest of my life. The mother of an 8 month old child, to whom I will have to someday explain, why dads gone. And it will have to be one hell of a story. I am the one left with all the mess. I am the one that wandered here looking for answers. I am the victim. Before a couple of days i havent heard of N powder. I am the one who has been lied to. I am the one that loved very much. […]

7/6/2015 3 comments

Pills or ocean

by mazb0121 7/6/2015

written by mazb0121

I know how this may be like every cliche sad story. Girl and boy date for a long time, girl beaks up with boy, boy then becomes depressed. I used to not understand how people could become so deepened in depression all because they get dumped. This all changed this past few months.

I dated a girl, let’s call her Amy, for over three years. As it has it, we had actual chemistry together as that’s how we met in college. It was a true love at first sight. Amy and I in the later years planned everything for our dream wedding and confessed to me […]

7/6/2015 3 comments

Just a bit of a let out.

by DaemonRIAL 6/29/2015

written by DaemonRIAL

Just of a bit of let out from all of the emotions that have built up so far. I’m just unscrewing the lid of the bottle and only open slightly as I slightly tilt the bottle full of negativity.

Sure, I’ll play that role of that cheerful friend who is fine with all of your jokes. I’ll be that friend that you can call at 3 am cause I’ll always be awake.

“You’re not sleeping?” She asks.

“Hmmmmm, maybe in a minute, I found this video on the internet.”

I’ll be the one who is always there to stay quiet at the times needed, I won’t ask why you’re […]

6/29/2015 1 comment

When I am dead

by QuirkyFox 5/25/2015

written by QuirkyFox

I will miss being held by those who love me.

I will miss watching cow parsley swaying in the breeze.

I will miss songs that remind me of those who left me.

I will miss the smell of warm rain, small rabbits, dandelions and daisies.

I will miss helping those who need me.

I will rest in peace, knowing I brought more joy than pain to the world.

Although I regret the harsh words I sometimes spoke, especially to those who hurt me.

I hope my death does not take long, I don’t want to suffer or have people watch me suffer.

I wanted death a couple of months ago. Then I found a […]

5/25/2015 9 comments

yesterdays life

by brokenredbutterfly 5/22/2015

written by brokenredbutterfly

I went to doctors yesterday and have gota mild eating disorder because I have a fear of gaining weight 🙁 it’s kinda hard cause I also have depression and get a lot of thoughts and everyday is hard. Social worker contacted me yesterday saying if I was safe and I feel the doctor has told them stuff I told them all my levels of trust have gone 🙁 I feel major down and I’m in pain a lot with my back and have cluster headaches a lot too I am also anemic so I bruise easily and I’m quite pale. I have about two friends […]

5/22/2015 6 comments

Quick Poem

by QuietlyBleeding 5/16/2015

written by QuietlyBleeding

Man i hate life, but if the shoe fits, wear it.
i hate myself for being born on this evil planet.
if i could kill and get away with it ill make these fuckin Christians pay in blood because they know inside they fuckin did it.
I bathe in pain because my life is in a fucking mess.
Don’t say you understand because you dont know how i stress.
i think about suicide all the time because i wanna die so bad and it dont matter that im fuckin pressed.
Take a moment to think about what i see.
All i see are ghosts of […]

5/16/2015 5 comments

give up

by darcyp 5/11/2015

written by darcyp

I Dont know what to do anymore my life’s fucked no one cares about me and they say they do but it’s all lies! I’m a 15 yr old girl and I get used all the time boys use me say they love me then do stuff with me and dump me I want to start valueing myself more buy all I ever think is why would anyone want to b with me they can do better an that’s because I hate myself · I was really close with my nan and grandad and they got put into a care home recently an I feel […]

5/11/2015 2 comments

Another Night of Pain

by Anon313131 4/28/2015

written by Anon313131

Just when you think things are looking up and getting better, life finds a way to deepen the pain. Am I being tested? Is this some cruel joke? I’m getting exhausted fighting on each day to avoid hurting my parents and friends. I like to imagine they’re just pretending to care to make it easier for me to go, but I know it isn’t true. I started praying to God again for help, something I haven’t done in 3 years. Things have only gotten worse since then. Maybe I just want to believe that I’m not in control of my own destiny, because me in […]

4/28/2015 1 comment

Is it worth it?

by TheRoadSoFar 4/26/2015

written by TheRoadSoFar

Is it worth it to be sad for loving someone who doesn’t love you back?
Is it worth it to hear all about how much she loves that guy, when in reality all you want is for her to love you?
Is it worth it to hear every single day about that guy that she loves so much, just to not lose her friendship?
Is it worth it to be everyday, every hour, at her side, faking to be okay, when in reality you’re in pain?
Is it worth it to keep the fact that I love her so much as a secret so that […]

4/26/2015 7 comments

New Comer

by Red Clåwß°§ 4/9/2015

written by Red Clåwß°§

How many of you would actually care if I died, and if you did, for how long? I mean if I died the sun would still rise and set, the seasons would still change, my death would change nothing in the world. I’m nothing special, so why do you care what happens to me? My existence is meaningless, so therefore I believe that I do not need to stay. I mean, do you even know what it’s like to feel so damn sad and empty all the time and just wake up everyday to just fake a smile and pretend to be oh so very […]

4/9/2015 0 comment

A New Drug

by louise52 4/7/2015

written by louise52

Hi sweet suicidal peeps. I love you. I’m up in the wee small hours again. No surprise there. I went on a drug called abilify a week ago. At that point I couldn’t take any more suicidal depression. Abilify does a number on you. I can’t sleep, am restless yet terribly fatigued, worried about high blood sugar/pre-diabetes. Yet I have to say it’s stopped the depression, and the effects kicked in real quick.

Abilify also makes me want to eat everything in sight, with unhealthy, fatty, junk foods being the drug of choice. I can’t afford to indulge though. I’m 53 and carrying a lot of […]

4/7/2015 5 comments

I get it

by confused 3/26/2015

written by confused

I received the results today. It hurts so much.

I’m not allowed to cry. I’m not allowed to feel devastated over not getting what I worked my ass off for. I’m not allowed to dwell on the what ifs. I’m not allowed to be in pain because I just found out that those hours-days-months-years I spent was useless. I’m not allowed to feel bad for failing.

I’m supposed to be strong. I’m supposed to get the fuck up if I fall down and move on, move forward. I get it. I get what I’m supposed to do.

But I can’t.

I’m not the strong person you think I am.

I […]

3/26/2015 1 comment

Just sad

by unicornprin 3/16/2015

written by unicornprin

I ain’t shit, I am pretty sure that everyone around me knows that. I flunked out of college when I was only a semester away from finishing. I recently found out I got fired from my job but yet don’t know why.. I worked so hard, I was working almost three weeks with no days off. I received no recognition, no appreciation, no love, they were all shitting on me. I am sort of happy I am no longer working for a bunch off people who shitted on me constantly and never gave a damn about my feelings but i dunno how i’m going to […]

3/16/2015 3 comments

Cold bath and thats the end

by lissbabe 3/10/2015

written by lissbabe

take a blade to my wrist,

let it slide down my skin,

let it cut and show the red powerful blood

let that blade end my life, allow me to go in that cold dreadful bath

let me endure the pain i was meant for, let me endure the death thats meant to be

don’t allow me to be in pain, if you care so much allow this to happen

at least for me. let me lie down in the cold bath and let the blood trickle down my arms and wrists allow the blood loss to kill me

3/10/2015 0 comment

Excerpts of a Madman

by Matt 3/9/2015

written by Matt

I’ve found myself wanting to post something on here at least once a day. I don’t really have anything to add, nothing happened today so I’m just going to put up one paragraph I’ve just written. I’m writing a cumulative note to any and all of my family, comprising of my thoughts leading up to the big sleep. I want them to understand as much as possible.

Enjoy.

“I don’t really know why I’m writing this paragraph, and there is a high probability I’ll delete it once I’ve finished writing it. You see, I’ve taken to just writing, its cathartic for me, but it’s almost like a […]

3/9/2015 3 comments

Did It Again.

by lezbehonest94 3/5/2015

written by lezbehonest94

To me there’s a difference in self harming and actually wanting to dir. I’m no coward. Like I’ve said. I won’t end my life bc I don’t want my remainging family to live with the fact that they didn’t listen. Knowing what I’m capable of. And knowing I’m not afraid. They still go about.

I want to die so bad. And I think in all honesty this would be fair to me. But as you see I can for these fuckers around me who don’t care about me. Selfless. Fuck… I cut deep and watch the blood run out. I feel alone..and dead already its so […]

3/5/2015 1 comment

panic attack

by alexmckim 2/16/2015

written by alexmckim

My chest aches as my heart speeds. My eyes blurred until all I see is darkness. My lungs burn as I struggle to breath. My ears pop and a loud ringing sounds. My body shakes and my muscles twitch. Griping my chest in pain as I try to fight the fear. My truth beneath a mask. I scream usually slient screams until my lungs stop their Burns. I hug my chest tight the compression soothing the pain. Deep breaths as my heart slows and my sight returns. This mask you see Once again put in place. Once my body’s returned to almost normal I vow […]

2/16/2015 0 comment

my sisters… i need you

by disposablegrl 2/12/2015

written by disposablegrl

i’ve had many things taken from me throughout my life…

mother/father: robbed me of safety, acceptance, and unconditional love, i never stood a chance with the two of you

molester: robbed me of a childhood, feelings of worth and value

rapists: robbed me of dignity and pride

myself: robbed me of peace and tranquility

but you… nothing compares to what you have done… you stripped me bare, consumed me body and soul only to regurgitate it back in my face with a look of disgust only to say– not what i want… you leave me crumbled, a pile of used discarded remnants of something that was at some point […]

2/12/2015 4 comments

lonely

by silvermoon 2/6/2015

written by silvermoon

i am worried that some people on here are trolling this site looking for the vulnerable. rest assured i am strong. yet in pain. i am so lonely right now. i made the mistake of calling my parents’ home. my mother is heavily into gaslighting and loves to confuse my mind. i screamed at her called her a name left a nasty message for them both and then fell into some guilt. now i dont care. i would give anything not to be this person anymore, hanging on by a thin thread. the agony of alone can destroy you. sick of the gd voices but […]

2/6/2015 3 comments

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