I keep bouncing back and forth on what to think of you. I want to see you for the person you really are. How you avoided me and just walked away when you saw me, how you didn’t come in to pick me up from the police station, how when I pushed you away physically when we were having sex and obviously was uncomfortable, but you kept going, and finally rolled over annoyed, sleeping at opposite ends of the bed, how you probably had sex with other girls while you were doing “business” and crawled back into my bed every single night. The thought of […]
I’ve always dealt with suicidal thoughts but over the last month or so they have become omnipresent and overwhelming. I’ve come very close to jumping off a bridge or hanging myself a couple of times in the last couple of weeks, emboldened by alcohol, but I get so fucking chicken shit I haven’t been able to bring it off. I feel like I need to do this but I’m just so afraid of suffering EVEN MORE. I’m afraid of the same thing that is appealing about it all to me…the FINALITY of it. I’m so exhausted by living like this. I wish I could work […]
i have to be tough
the sad moments in my life
My story was sad and how my life was. I kept wanting to die, i never wanted to but there was times i did, i never wanted my life. My life had about the most horrible things in it. My mom kept staying with this person who kept wanting to kill himself. He abused me and my brother, He did drugs, and he drinked a lot of liqour. My mom cheated […]
Been browsing for a few days now and finally feel like posting. This is the first time in my life I am seriously considering actually going through with suicide… I am not quite ready for talking openly on here but it would be nice to talk with someone who also uses the site to kinda “show me the ropes, (nooses?). anyways.. I am on omegle right now and if you want to come find me, put ‘suicideproject.org’ as an interest/keyword and lets see if you can see me!
p.s. I hope this is ok to do and if not just let me know. Not trying to […]
i wish everybody on here and everybody in the world felt nothing but happiness at all times I wish there was no such thing as mean people I feel like if you really think about it most people’s sadness has to do with other people’s actions I just need for this world to be a good place I need to not raise my kids when I’m older to live in a place so depressing and fucked up I just need happiness and I need to be better at wording my thoughts because I sound like a little girl on here who isn’t making any sense
I’ve been depressed for 4 years now. It wasnt that bad in the beginning but as time went by it has gotten nothing but worse to the point where now it literally takes up my entire brain. Every single second of my life except for the time I am unconscious (sleeping) is spent being eaten alive by my depression, unable to think about anything else. How can I not be? I am literally the biggest piece of shit in the world. You think you or someone you know is as worse as can be you are dead wrong because you haven’t heard about me yet, […]
I am too worn out. It is almost impossible to even stand up out of bed in the morning. My family has rejected me, and I lost my parents to alcohol. I myself have tried to get sober but can’t deal with the mental stress. My last year was spend with my girlfriend struggling with alcoholism. After putting her through the third rehab and countless nights worrying she cheated on me with someone she met there and ran off. I literally gave her every last drop of life I had left and lost all my friends in the process. I went into deep depression and […]
Let me detach my head
You can keep it in your bed
Where so many memories were made
So many things were left unsaid
For my ears will hear you whisper
My eyes will see you smile
My lips will speak your name
But I can only stay a while
Let me remove my heart
You can keep it in your car
Where I used to leave my shades
And my shoes were often shed
For I long to feel the wind
As we drive on for miles
The radio up too loud
But I can only stay a while
Let me tear out my lungs
You […]
I always wondered why me. I asked God all the time why me. Please helo me not to go down tge wrong parth and i did. Please help me nit to gice up and i dmfeel it cliser and ciser coming to an end. I dont know why i try in the first place. Pain ALWAYS follows. Death needs to come alreadt seriously it does.
I don’t know what the hell’s going on. I’m on Prozac, 20 mg/day. I don’t do alcohol or drugs or anything. I’m not even that depressed right now. But I’m seeing things…at first these things weren’t too scary, just a little annoying, like Gingy would steal my pencils and hide them. But now Gingy’s rabid. Whenever he shows up I lock myself in the bathroom. He can’t get in the bathroom because that’s where I was conceived.
What the hell am I supposed to do? He brought some of his friends, they’re outside…the doors are locked, my dad’s at work…it’s tough to even focus on school […]
I have never told a soul in the entire world about this! I wish that I had the time to post this on April 28, which was the 11th anniversary of the day that I thought would be my last day on this Earth as I had an extreme and almost nonstop desire to hang myself, while jerking off for 2 days prior to April 28 and I couldn’t wait until I could die from this, so I would not have to think of the embarrassment of something like this, but I will be at peace! Late in the afternoon on April 28, […]
After two attempts at my life in the matter of two weeks me and my husband went to the doctors go more medicine and some new ones he’s holding on to them because it’s easy to overdose on them I’m mad but I understand I guess he loves me and I love him I don’t know why I’m so addiment about killing myself
I am an 18 year old male. If this content is too graphic please remove the post, I just don’t have anywhere to turn. Ok, lets get started.
I have a phobia, which entails people thinking I am masturbating. This may sound weird, but it has been developed over the past 4 years, and furthered by constant negative reinforcement.
It all started around the time I was 14, I had begun masturbating prior to this, but before this I really didn’t feel the true motivation to do it. Maybe I am a late bloomer? Anyway, I was caught several times around this age by my mother, and […]
I made a terrible mistake in life. It’s affected me tremendously over the past 2 years. I am ashamed of my past situation, embarrassed with the present, and fearful of the future.
7 years ago, I accepted a job with the federal government. The organization I worked for has a bad reputation with the public. Everyday you can find examples of governmental malfeasances that happen in the news.
The agency that I worked for was TSA. I am so deeply ashamed of myself for working there, because of the bad reputation with the public. Myself and others who have worked their have been verbally and psychologically abused […]
Dear city of more,
It seems like it will never end. I want to be out in the streets with you, out fighting the good fight but I am debilitated by this sorrow. I am not able to do my own work. I can only read articles and weave through media to get tangled in this debate that is no debate at all. I send to you love, the little I have in my heart. I am worn but will resist in the ways I can and will be there when I can, as much as I want to just die and not have to see […]
so it seems my options now are go to live in the new mexico desert, in a bedbug-infested trailer with my sister and her husband, who can barely support themselves… or stay here with my parents, in a home of alcohol and violence, where nothing will ever change. i have to choose one or the other by the 2nd. i’m not feeling very hopeful about my future, needless to say.
Three times. Three failures. Twice. I will explain.
This is not only the third time I have raised a loaded gun to my head. It is also the third time in the last 3 weeks that I was ready only to back out.
First things first.
The first time, back in June 2012, it was purely impulsive. No plan, no thinking. I was faced with an impossible choice. Either give her up or give up everything else. This will be the common theme in my suicidal journey. Someone trying to take her away from me. Obviously I chose her.
The second time, January of this […]
I remember when the thought of cutting myself scared me. Suicide had crossed my mind once or twice, but i never contemplated it seriously. Now, I cut nearly every day, and I’ve attempted suicide twice. I look in the mirror and i don’t know who I am anymore, I used to be truly happy but now I’m just numb and empty. No one notices the bruises on my body put there by someone else, maybe they do notice annd don’t seem to care.
I really don’t know why I feel the way I do. My friends are trustworthy people, I have a loving family, hobbies that I love, dreams and ambitions…on paper, nothing seems that bad at all. But for quite a few years now, without anything bad happening, and for no particular reason at all, I’ve been experiencing these very intense bouts of sadness. It’s gets so bad that my body literally becomes numb, and I find it difficult to do much of anything except cry. Sometimes, it even catches me when I’m out in public.
To me, it made sense that I should try to talk to […]
Sweet love that I held so close
The hand I held and needed most
The lips I kissed so many times
Oh love never were you mine
For a split second you let me believe
That I had you back and you’d never leave
I guess I was just the easiest to convince
But I haven’t stopped hurting since..
Oh love I know I’m easy to forget
But I’m so sure you were ‘it’
That person for whom I would give my life
But instead […]