I’ve been a heroin addict for about 3 years, I’ve OD’d twice and lost my job, partner, family and non-using friends in the process. I’m a gay man, which I guess doubles my risk of AIDS. I’m 29, and I can’t start over now. My life is done, death is in the fucking post. I’m so sick of people staring at my needle tracks like I’m some fucking lepper. My boyfriend of 7 years kicked me out, and I don’t blame him. Before heroin, I was a serious alcoholic. Like 3 litres of vodka a day. I’d be drinking at 9am, and it wouldn’t be […]
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Job
so i dont know why i put myself through all this bullshit. well i got a job..yay:/ i made my parents happy and i guess its good because that means extra money in my pocket for razors, diet pills and cigs. maybe its what i need. i was with her all day..im just going to call her T but thats beside the fact. im seeing my ex boyfriend who im still madly in love with and i just could date him because i know how fucked up i am and i never want to hurt him and i just want him to be happy. but […]
Ok here goes.
I’ve hated my life from the moment I became aware that life sucks hard. I was 10 when my loser, self hating mother died. I say self hating because she was married to an emotionally distant man who only bothered to turn up to impregnate her every so often. She got sick, he didn’t care. In fact I remember distinctly how he would take my sister and I to his girlfriends (yes plural) whenever she had a hospital appointment (they would turn on the TV and reappear when it was time to go home, nice). Interesting to note now that he was a […]
So I have put a lot of thought into this and decided that I truly want to end my life. I have been battling with this for years and tried several different ways of working this out. I have lost my job (which was everything to me) due to my “personality” which was the wake up call. I no longer belong to this world and am ready to leave. The method I have chosen is asphyxiation. I am still working a few things out I will do a trial run and write my letter and hopefully be gone for this world.
Im only 19 years old so I’m pretty new to this. I pretty sure were all here cuz we’re hurting an like many of u I think about killing myself all the time. But instead I’d figure I’ll try to fin help. I dnt have to pay any bills I love my mom I love my brothers I perfectly heatly. I jus got out of high school on my way to college I got a job. No kids no family lost. I’m pretty tall beautiful on the outside all is well but for some reason I’m soooo unhappy I dnt know why. Cuz I dnt […]
I have been reading here so I will explain why I want to go now. Â About a year and a half ago my wife had her job transferred to another city. Â As we own a condo and the market was very bad we could not sell. Â So we lived separate for a while. Â As my job was eliminated in May I thought it would now be a good time to go and be with my wife. Â However something changed. Â She hardly speaks to me and just last week said she wants a divorce. Â This was such a shock as I thought we were so […]
I’ve had the best life before, everything i ever wanted, was so good, A loving man, New car, New condo, Great job and people who love me, But that changed so really my time is done here, I just waiting for the right moment and the right way to go, Damn this feels so good! Anyway, my ex could be coming back to my lofe, we we together 4 years, hes so amazing, but i live in Ga now and hes in FL. So anyway, my point is, yes weve all been through rough times, and sometimes is not worth going on living, but you […]
last night i lost two of my patiens.. One girl jumped from 8th floor, another jumped from 9th floor. Well, i’m saying i lost both of them because first one doesnt has so many hopes to survive. Just 1 floor different and it’s that thin line from death. First one survived.. We took her from ground with all bones broken, all organs exploded, but… alive. As far as i know she’s in neurosurgeons hands. Second one lost job.. and didnt find new one.. so 9th floor – totally dead. One floor – one sure.
All im saying, what if those people could be taken for example […]
So why the fuck would anybody stay around after all this, fuck that, i know im still here but my body wants to die and i dont know how im going to get passed this, its really not worth trying, once im gone, i wont have to worry how im going to live, where im going to get money, nah..i cant, ive lived this way for a year and its not getting any better,
I am a deployed military member on my 3rd combat deployment. Since joining I have never seen any combat. No mortar has ever come close. No IED has ever went off. No shots have been fired at me. I joined to go fight. I wanted to achieve greatness and kill the enemy. I changed jobs this time in order to give myself a better chance of getting in an engagement. This time like every other time I have beem deemed too necessay for staying on the FOB. To make matters worse, my spouse was hit by […]
Hello all,
I joined this site because I wanted to find an anonymous way of writing down what I felt over the last few years without causing anyone I know (especially myself) any more issues. The last thing I need is my mother committing me, she already thinks I’m in some real trouble psychologically.
I have more to be happy about now as opposed to when I was 25, but it seems as though things are worse than ever. I have a real job, and Iagave some hobbies I’m active in. I worked hard to accomplish that. But I’m consistently crushingly lonely. I can’t […]
Suicide is the only answer for me, don’t bother telling me otherwise, I’ve tried and failed before but I haven’t changed my mind. I’ve been unhappy and apathetic for as long as I can remember regardless of how hard I’ve tried to push myself or the different things I’ve tried. I just want the pain to go away, it’s really unbearable at times. I think about bad times in my life, about God, about all the bad people in the world, how bad the world is, how worthless I am, and often enough I picture myself dying in gruesome ways. I end up crying, shaking, […]
I’m so fuckin sick and tired of doing this. Day in day out I just float through my day, half awake half asleep, just waiting to die. Every morning I wake up dissapointed to find I’m still breathing, just the thought of getting out of my bed and looking in thr mirror scares the shit out of me. I am a coward . If I wasn’t then I would have finished the job quite some time ago instead of just lingering aimlessly through a pointless existence. I don’t want tp be here anymore, I have grown so bitter […]
We have been broken up for three months now, the 21st of this month will only be a short year that went by since we first dated. Three months ago I gave up everything I had (car , job and friends) to move with you 3000 miles across the country in hopes to find and continue our happiness together. Last night i asked why we really broke up and you told me that you hated me, even now that were not together somehow i still get under your skin and bug you. Ever since we have been broken up life feels pointless, its not the […]
Why would she.as in i ve got noting to offer so why would anyone want to come to me jst to hurt me..i loved her yes i did.bt she was so filled with lies and she does a very bad job of making her lies sound real..i just dont know why everybody is leaving me for somebody else..she was the only thing that kept me going.but tanx to mr kharled.i wont be needing this life of mine anymore.she left me long before i even knew.bt i dnt care.and i aint taking my lyf bcus of any *****!.st.lesswill lives on
i’m 20 years old and my life always had been difficult, now i am at a point that i can’t go anymore further.. 🙁
My friends are slowly abandoning me,i don’t have a girlfriend and my parents hates me,i don’t have a job or money.
I started having panic attacks cause of my situation and i’m afraid of meeting people,i’m loosing all my self esteem..
i have searched in the net for so long a nice method for suicide,but every method seems uneffective
some people tells that helium can fail,pills fails… it seems that everything is more likely to fail that having effect.
I don’t […]
Hello everybody.
Just before I recite my terribly long story, I’d like to wish you all a very pleasant day <3
So .. My story … I’m a 14 year old guy and I have been dealing with a lot emotionally for a couple of years now. Let’s start with my parents. Ever since I was young, everybody thought I had the best parents in the world. Heck, my mom even quit her job just to take care of me and my sister. You might say I’m weird, you might say I’m insensitive for hating my parents when all they do is love me. Right? Anyways, […]
Hi guys,
I’m just new here at this website and for a long time I keep myself seeking things related to suicide on internet and I got really into it after my life got really sux around six years ago. (I have a really large problem that cannot be solved easily)
Nowadays I hate the major I’ve chosen (since 2005 and I still not graduated!!), my job, where I live, my routine and my completely life. I read many testimonials here today and maybe I decided to start to share what brings me down everyday and my permanent nightmare.
I don’t expect any help from you, but sharing […]
I keep having mental and nervous breakdowns over the stupidest things. For one, when ever i think of my job (subway) i wanna break down crying because i hate it so much. Just having the dog pee on my bed will set me off into a huge crying and sobbing episode that will last for hours. I have panic attacks when that happens. I am seeing a psychiatrist and i dont know how to bring up the fact that i think i need xanax or ativan or something because when i have those episodes i become very suicidal. I have bipolar by the way so […]
So, I’m sitting here waiting (it seems I do an awful lot of waiting these days) for a ride so that I can hopefully get to my so -called “parenting class”. Have you ever been to one of these classes? They’re a total waste of time, and just another way for the state to keep your kids longer. I mean, really, who the hell needs someone to tell them how to take out the trash every day or remind them that babies can’t be brats? Are we really not evolved enough yet to understand that children are generally unable to be mean until the age […]