I’m 19 and have been officially diagnosed with major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder for over two years… I’ve been suffering from them for a hell of a lot longer. Meds are not working. Therapy isn’t helping. My best friend is the only person who can help me and she is taking a step back from our friendship because she is too overwhelmed. I think I am bisexual and I know I am completely in love with her, but my family would kill me if they knew about my sexuality, and she is straight and would not return my feelings. She’d most likely just […]
I’m from Turkey, shithole country. Everyday news full of rape, theft, explosions, etc… I’m so tired of being part of this bullshit. This country full of crazy religious muslims who will try to kill or beat you if you’re not one of them. I’m not stupid, i’m reading book all day but what for? Waiting someone to kill me or going jail for my thoughts? 21. century is just rubbish. I don’t wanna be part of this life but i can’t kill myself. Because i feel like i haven’t completed somethings or just i’m animal who follow his instincts. I sold my xbox and guitar […]
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I’ve been feeling suicidal for the best part of 3 months now, but the last couple of weeks have been extremely difficult.
I feel like the thoughts are controlling me rather than me being in control of them.
Before, I was thinking, oh i’ll do THIS and THIS is when i’ll do it etc etc.
But recently I’ve been struck by impulsive thoughts where I feel if I drift off for that second too long that I’ll jump in front of a car. I parked my car at work yesterday morning, then found myself stood against the wall of the car park leaning over wondering if I jumped […]
Jus want to have like a last will . So when I finally die I can have something behind
I am an insult to depression. I am a living effrontery to depressed people.
I make a LOT of money doing a fairly easy job.
I live in a beautiful house that has been in commercials and magazines.
I bought a new car last week because I was bored with my bmw.
I am constantly surrounded by family and friends who tell me how great I am, and can’t tell you how many people I’ve had fall in love with me.
My best friend lets me dogsit his amazing black lab who is the embodiment of love whenever I want because he knows it helps me.
Despite all this, I am […]
I am worthless.
Please just someone kill me. Please.
Im back home and instantly i regret not downing half a month’s of sereoquel for the drive back home. Hell even if it didnt kill me im sure it would help satiate the voices that keep bothering me about harmful ideation.
My psych doc wants to increase it but i told him it would hinder me driving, honestly if he was so quick to want to i shouldve just let him. I feel like im doomed for the med life to feel comfortably numb and not unexpectedly lash out due to the wierd messages my brain thinks its receiving. Which is safe for everyone but […]
i fucking hate people its no fucking use no matter what i do people always think its the worst thing i cant explane it because no one wants to believe me or they all think im fucking crazy. i have no choice ether people are going to kill me or i just have to take my own life that’s it. my mom told me i can be happy i just have to choose it but i don’t have a choice people are always going to think what they are going to think and i cant change there minds because everyone hates me. no one cares about […]
It’s safe to say I’ve fucked up my life pretty thoroughly. To the point where it feels like there’s no way back. This is who I am. It’s not some temporary blip. It’s a consistent reflection of my thoughts and feelings.
I’m so far outside normal human life that it’s scary. I turned 28 last week, but a large part of my thinking and behaviour is still trapped in childhood. And I can’t see any way to catch up now. I can fake a degree of social confidence for a while, but it’s easy to see through. I haven’t developed any of the skills that most […]
my life has no hope. I plan on commuting suicide very soon. I am going to take all of my 30 200 mg seriquil and then sit on my car while it is running in the garage. Of the drugs don’t kill me hopefully the carbon monoxide will. My only fears are hurting my son and my mom. My son will be 3 in October, so he wont really understand. I know that my dad and my step mom will adopt him. They have asked about it before and I am still living. I’m 23, I suffer from extreme depression and social phobia. I can’t […]
I hate it so bad. Somebody kill me. I don’t think I can love. I’m such a horrible person. I feel like crying every minute of my life, but I don’t want to.
My father keeps a revolver in his top dresser drawer along with bullets for it. It’s a .357 magnum and I don’t if this is a high enough caliber to kill me if I shoot myself with it. I know sometimes with lower caliber guns they don’t kill you, or they take some time to kill you. I don’t want to fuck it up and end up with brain damage or be paralyzed forever or something like that. So I was wondering if this is a high enough caliber gun to kill me?
Friday night I said goodbye to SP. after the recent stuff that went on, I lost patience on my suicide plan. I went upstairs, and then took a bunch of pills. The intention of the pills was not to kill me but to sedate me so I could suffocate myself. Didn’t work! So I went up and took more and than when I was heading back down stairs, my aunt cought me before I could use my Halloween bag. She said “come here let me look […]
this anxiety is going to kill me
I just need someone to listen, to hear me, to understand me. I’m so tired of people thinking the “smart, pretty” girls have it all. I don’t. I don’t think that just because you are good looking, or smart, or popular, or even a nice person, that it should cancel out feelings of a different caliber. But society thinks it does. Because people think I have it all, I should be happy. I surely don’t have it all, just keeping up with appearances. I fake it and I fake it well.
I don’t have any one specific reason to hate myself, I just do. I […]
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I’m realizing now; just how many issues I really have. My dad has severed any bond we had built over the past few years. The bond that was so fragile after years of abuse and death threats. He became enraged over a mistake I made that did not affect him. Now, I’ve no family. But I don’t understand why this is affecting me so much now. I’ve never been loved or accepted by my family.
My mother used me as a servant and emotionally manipulated me to do her bidding. My father constantly threatened to murder me and would constantly degrade me. This is your typical […]
I am so dissatisfied with my life. So much that if a natural disaster occurred to kill me or someone murdered me, I would probably be okay. I don’t want to commit suicide, or I guess I can’t. I’m too scared. I’ve thought about cutting, but I think about the pain and how I have to bring a knife to my skin, and I just can’t. I feel so stressed. I have so many dreams and goals that I want to achieve, but I know that my dreams are just dreams and that reality will catch up sooner or later. Reality that I’m not smart, […]
I actually cried tonight, thinking about what happened over these past three days. Did a lot of psychoanalysis on myself. As you all know, Thursday night I started drinking cooers light. It’s the only alcohol my aunt will allow me to have. The problem is, I sober up to fast. The bigger problem is that I feel like a monster when I’m sober but when I’m drunk all my worries go away and I can be myself (in a way). I get scared of sobering up because I know that once I do, my problems will come back.
That night, I said screw it and decided […]