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It’s bad again…

by BlondeWig
written by BlondeWig

I never thought it would get this way again. Everything was looking up, I was happy. But I guess my happiness always has a nasty habit of running away from me and leaving me like everyone else.

I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared I have no idea what to do. I wake up shaking from anxiety from dreams I can’t remember. I’m not eating, i’m not sleeping. I just got a new job and I don’t even know how I’m going to manage that. I never want to leave the house anymore. What’s the point? I have a boyfriend, things seemed perfect. Maybe i’m just too […]

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I’m Already Dead

by Counting The Days Until I'm gone
written by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

Rather than equivocating death, I have conceded that death has already bestowed its unrequited love upon me. Simply so, because though I still breathe, and whilst my heart still thumps, the mere essence which makes each of us has perished within me.

It is as if though I’m only being kept alive by a  hypothetical respirator and though this hypothetical mechanisations is working tirelessly, what sense is the life that its saving. For that individual can no longer be happy, can no longer assimilate to usual locomotion, all that is left is his bodily mechanisations  and, in actuality life has already left his body.

My body, however is […]

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I always feel lost

by hateself
written by hateself

All my life i have spent years hoping that things would turn out alright for once but it seems no matter what i do i always can’t get things right. I just don’t know where i belong in this world I’m not sure if i ave ever really belonged anywhere. sometimes i really just wish i wasn’t such a fuck up, that things went right for once.

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Clarity

by claritee
written by claritee

I finally realized that I’m depressed; and death enters my mind like a lost cat tiptoeing in my mind, giving a small purr. I’ve never been good at life. It feels like a job. Even when I was young, I wished for death. It’s strange hoping to die when you’re 10 years old.

I read Anne Sexton’s poetry all of the time, like they’re my words:

“Even then I have nothing against life. I know well the grass blades you mention, the furniture you have placed under the sun. But suicides have a special language. Like carpenters they want to know which tools. They never ask why […]

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On the edge

by whydoiwantto
written by whydoiwantto

It’s about that time again – you know, when depression rears its ugly head and you start researching extensively on the internet for exit strategies… Drunk on a saturday and feeling like I can’t escape. Of course I feel awful about leaving my family but really this cannot go on… The suffering and inability to function within society – like a puzzle piece that can’t fit in. I am so fucking tired of being gay which is essentially a death sentence or at least a life long curse of loneliness and harassment.

Normally I try to write better, wax some sort of whining poetic about romanticized […]

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by Drowning
written by Drowning

Really had enough life isn’t for everyone and I’m one of them people I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on life don’t get better should have killed my self last May but my attempt wasn’t that great I’m scared of heights which is 100% and hanging ain’t really my thing so il left with 3 options wrist throat or OD I’m not sure when im planning on trying again but things ain’t getting better and I can’t take the emotional pain no more

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Ending it tonight. Life doesn’t get better.

by N0Futur3
written by N0Futur3

Wished I ended it that first night I joined. Life doesn’t get better, it’s just a lie. Funny how people say suicide is selfish, what is selfish is them expecting someone to continue living a life of pain because they want them to. You say family, friends, community get hurt… Fuck them they don’t give a shit about me. No matter how hard I try, it is not good enough in their eyes. We live in a fucked up society and world, fake people smiling…. They are the ones who need real help. I’m done….. I’m done living this fucked up life in this fucked […]

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Me again.

by canadiansunset
written by canadiansunset

I don’t feel I can take this anymore. I feel so empty, so lost, so alone. No one understands what I am going through. And as time passes by, I convince myself more that I need to be gone, that I can’t be here anymore. I miss my baby, I miss him, I miss school, I miss my old life. I wish I wasn’t such a coward and could attempt my plan now because that’s the only thing on my mind. I feel so depressed, so unlucky, so miserable. I want it to stop, I wanna go to sleep and not wake up.

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it’s me (again)

by red_queen_of_lies
written by red_queen_of_lies

so it’s me again. i’ll probably be writing posts all day long, spilling my dark and unforgiving past onto the internet for all to see. so. yeah. i already told you a bit about my goddamned life before, and so keeping that in mind, i’ll tell you more about what i call “my personal hell on earth”. great, right? no? yeah, i thought that’s what you were gonna say. i’ll be back at approx. 12:30 (my time) with juicy details about my sucky life.

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more of my shitty poetry…sorry

by Alan Ominous
written by Alan Ominous

Perspective:

The staircase may ascend,
Or descend, it’s determined,
By where you begin.

This road of life may seem,
Long and narrow for some,
Or short and broad to others,
It depends on where you stand.

A path of stepping stones,
Has been laid to create an average, but you may have short legs, or a longer gate then those,
It was designed for.

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Another day

by Drowning
written by Drowning

so tired I really don’t want to get up one part of me wants to give up the other part wants to push on I feel it’s goin to be one of them days I want it to end before its begins hopefully things change I hope the day runs smooth why is life so complicated sigh

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Investment

by On_A_Pale_Horse
written by On_A_Pale_Horse

“I think that man was half-right. He is better off out of the game – but the game may not be better off without him. A man should not exist for himself alone. Life made an investment in him, and that investment was not paid off.”
-Piers Anthony, On a Pale Horse

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My Addiction

by filmg1rl
written by filmg1rl

Suicidal thoughts are an addiction.  It’s a disease.  Eventually your brain becomes wired to crave it.  It’s like being an alcoholic.  You can go the rest of your life never having another drink, but you’ll never stop being an alcoholic and never stop wanting a drink.

I wish I could stop wanting to die.  I wish it didn’t occupy my thoughts every day.  I’m tired of fighting the addiction.

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Today ans last night was weird

by kupo95
written by kupo95

So yesterday was the most stress full day ever wondering or not is going to drag me out of my husband grandparents house so go news he didn’t.so that leaves me with scary unsurance what is going to happen and I don’t know.

so what kind end of happenig was my husband and I I end up watching a documentary about 11 which means anxious depressedso when the movie ended.he took of the computer awayw and he kept on asking me what was wrong physically wouldn’t answer like a really with all my strength not. Able open my mouth and tell […]

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Had an argument with my brother

by blank-clutter
written by blank-clutter

The subject was me and my tough time with life. He said that I’m being too hard and critical of myself. It’s very hard not to be critical of yourself when it’s your own actions which causes all the problems. How can someone who has failed in many aspects of life actually suppose to not be critical? How can they just ignore it?

You could say that you must notice and not be emotionally negative about it, but it’s my impulses and way of thinking that had made me into something I hate, it causes a negative perspective. it’s only human nature i think

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a frank and rational post about suicide

by herecomestheavalanche
written by herecomestheavalanche

as i lay in my bed on this beautiful saturday morning, i couldn’t help but think.

i just do not want to be here anymore.

i had not one reason to leave my cocoon this morning. the only reason i got up out of bed, at 1 in the afternoon, was to use the washroom.

i wish i could talk about this, these feelings, with someone in real life without getting into trouble. i just do not want to be here anymore. i do not want to be in a hospital, but i do not want to be me, alone, in this apartment, anymore.

it’s just become way too […]

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Why do I want to end a good life?

by Fire_Bad
written by Fire_Bad

Four years have passed since I last logged on here. I am still around and I wonder if Trent and jmvsic are around as well.

When I was last on, I was disconsolately picking up pieces of my heart that had been roundly drop kicked by my ex. My self-loathing was at an all time high. I had failed at relationships. And then I was failing at getting over that failure.

Life had become a monotonous track in my head around such familiar territories as: “WhyDoIStillLoveYousville” and “IAmTheWorst Town”.

Exactly two months after that I formed a reluctant crush on an a friend of a friend. One that […]

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