I’m so tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. Everyone thinks im “The life of the party” and that im bubbly and happy. But i hate going out, i don’t like being around people, I’d be perfectly okay with being left alone to lay in bed, go to sleep and never wake up again. I’ve had my ups and downs, but i can’t pick myself up. It’s getting hard to fake the smile and I think my friends are starting to notice, I don’t want them to notice that I’m unhappy, I don’t want them to think that they have to help. I’m not […]
Tag:
life
i want to make a list for just in case…want to drop it here. i’m gonna pick little bit underrated movies, and some of popular ones.
1) Gattaca (1997) story about a genetically inferior man
2) Chung Hing sam lam (1994) life of two melancholic cops
3) Stand by me (1986) best coming of age movie, different and sweet
4) Barry lyndon (1975) you can find anything in this movie; suffer, pain, joy, all-life movie directed by kubrick. barry hold on everything to the end.
5) c.r.a.z.y (2005) best family drama, period
6) zero kelvin (1995) its the most poetic film i have ever seen. ”A […]
I want to kill my self I am sick of this stupid life but I am thinking about my kids what are they going to do after me killing my self I should be more mature but this is not a life actually I feel it is ke a knife in my back and I am moving according to the mercy of the knife holder I hate you I haaaattte you I am too coward to say so too coward to make any step to divorce I am a negative introvert person fuck me !!!!
Hi,
so so this is the first time ever posting on a site (any site actually) but I’ve found that venting about thing regardless if people respond or not is beneficial and seeing a therapist once a week is clearly not cutting it anymore.
Okay let’s see now, I am 23 first generation American, middle child, genetic history of major clinical depression with multiple family members taking their own lives.
On the surface, I have a pleasant life. I haven’t had to worry about finances as much as most people have. Ran track in HS and was a state champion. Played collegiate rugby and excelled. However since I was […]
To make your life better, ditch the dead weight.
People who lied to me, bye bye now. Those who left me when I needed them, don’t come back. I don’t have the time nor the energy to deal with people who do that to me. You have no place in my life, nor will you have my kindness.
This post is gone.
Randall and Salt had responded to my last post of Saturday afternoon which detailed the latest episode of exhaustion I had on Friday/Saturday. They asked some good questions about what may happen to the mind if a person chooses to take their life by jumping from a height. I was grateful for the honest and kind way they approached the subject and respected my spiritual beliefs. Below is my response to them. I am hoping others (or the two of them) will continue to respond, because their words, questions and observations, really did make me think. And with the large number of posts on the […]
All my life ive been bully by one being well if u can call him that and the worse is it was my brother he teased me antagonized me bully me and call me names its gotten so bad I uncontrollably beat him with objets its hurts me but saves me ive tried g o kill myself many times but then I think what about my loved ones
Sad that I have nowhere else to vent, because no one listens to me. Hell, I hardly get a response here.
Anyway, I told a little white lie to get out of work early yesterday and hang out with the dreamboat that will never be mine. But I guess I’m lucky I can get to take out a guy like that even if it’s not exactly a date and he’ll never see me that way. -sigh- But it has its perks. I get to be out with a gorgeous guy and he gets to “feel spoiled for once.” It’s nice that we can talk openly at […]
I’m 16, and I’m going into my senior year of high school in a few months, and I’ve been facing depression for over a year now. I wish I could explain how I really feel, but I don’t think it would make sense. Mostly it’s the fact that I have high-achieving dreams. Like, the kind of dreams where it takes a one in a million chance to actually accomplish them. And I’ve convinced myself that I’m not going to achieve anything in life and I’ll just be bored and miserable the entire time. As if I’m convinced that without these dreams, I won’t be happy, […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
I dont really know what im doing here or how i really found this place, all i know really know is that i am alone. I dont have any family or friends to talk to or suport me, an i wish i did.
I cant shake these feelings much longer. This life has not been kind and im ready to leave this forsaken place. Mid september hints the user name.
I’ve felt my best when I’ve been in school! Seeing good grades and feeling that’s I’ve actually accomplished something. But lately the fighting with the husband and lack of money leaves me wishing to never wake up again. I hate feeling like this but I can’t even do homework right now. I want to walk away and never come back just hope I become a missing person. So I will drop my classes like usual and sit and cry for God to please rescue me from this life.
I don’t think things could be much worse,
My “life” is a curse.
I wear these cross earrings and necklace to feel closer to God,
But I don’t deserve to–I’m such a fraud.
I’ll try my best,
To not make too much of a mess. Father’s day is coming soon, I don’t want to make it to then, I want to be with the moon.
God blessed me with life, And I’ve wasted all 16 years, I‘ll soon face my final […]
The title says it all. I graduated high school today, and I have never been this suicidal in my entire life. I’m not going to college or anything, so I feel like it’s just my time to go. I said goodbye to everyone, so it’s okay if I die now. Nobody there really liked me much, anyway. To be honest, I’m surprised I made it this far. I didn’t think I’d make it to graduation, but I did. Now I don’t really have anything left to live for. It’s almost sad, I used to have such big dreams and high hopes, but I don’t know […]
It’s been quite some time since I last posted here. Life was difficult (and in many ways still is) when I was a regular contributor. A quick recap: chronic pain/back injury, constant struggle to get necessary medications to manage said pain to maintain something akin to a “normal” life, got destroyed in the housing market collapse – lost two houses, and child support enforcement that seems to think I a gazillionaire when I can barely afford to eat – never mind that all “children” are adults.
There’s a plethora of other smaller issues that contribute, and some of those listed above – particularly the child support […]
I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. I feel like I drown my sorrows in medial mindless activity just to by because I just can’t bring myself to do anything different. I’m so scared of what would happen if I broke the norm that I am afraid to go against it, just blending in to wherever I happen to be. I constantly destroy every relationship because I’m so overwhelmed in trying to give them everything they want that I eventually push them away. I just feel like I don’t know how to socialize and am constantly depressed whenever I go out just wanting to […]
Sometimes it may look like I have enough answers to improve my own life but truth is I’m barely holding myself together..
In a year I’ve lost my girl, my career is over, I lost my place and my will to make progress has run dry.
There are parts of my own sanity that create conflict in myself and between others..that now, I find myself giving into accepting the fact that I need medical help and councilors to guide me in even the most simplest of ways. I have the motivation but i still find myself in the same situation.
I want to live but […]
That worthless feeling the knowing that its true. I can’t help but to feel so dumb for holding on to hope I should have went through with it. I should have known that it was too good to be true. Now I’m past depressed and I’m filled with so much hate I cant fucking deal with myself.. They say live life with no regrets but it still living life that I regret ????
It’s lonely tonight. I’m sitting here completely alone, no one to call or text. No one to say I love you, good night or good morning. And I’ve never been happier for some strange reason. I’m not a social person anyways, I hate crowds, I hate being at social gatherings, and I have a hard time conversing with people. Possibly I was made to be alone for life. A cold but comforting lonliness at least for now.