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Little Bit

Lonesome sometimes (part 7)

by redisblue101 7/28/2012

written by redisblue101

My mom had at the time helped me to understand the gravity of what happened, what I’ve done, and what the future of my friendship to my friend looked like. My moms prediction- Not good (and if my mom felt something to be true, it was most likely true.) I had felt that I would get an answer like that , but at least I had an answer. (because I knew that my friend’s mouth wasn’t budging and neither was her mother’s.)

My mom had told me that I should let go of my friend, because as she put it was ” Tragically ended.” It pained […]

7/28/2012 1 comment

Lonesome sometimes (part 4)

by redisblue101 7/28/2012

written by redisblue101

For those of you still reading my story, I thank you. This story I’m telling is a little bit like closer for this chapter in my life. And I hope that reading all this isn’t as bad for you as I am typing it.

In the end of my relationship with my friend, I had reached my boiling point with my friend and her mother. I had told my friend that enough was enough and that her mother had to let her grow up. I was crying and kinda being loud with her, because it hurt me, that I felt this pressure. My friend passive-aggressively was […]

7/28/2012 4 comments

Hopeless

by JaneDoe18 7/20/2012

written by JaneDoe18

Hey guys. I feel really dumb posting on this thing but I don’t know what to do. I have been feeling wicked low lately, well for a while but really really bad lately. I cannot even really put my finger on what is wrong. It just is. Everything feels awful to me. When I am with people I want to be alone and when I am alone I don’t want to be although when I am around other people I barely feel like I am even there. I can hardly think or get control of myself. I have no motivation and I feel empty and […]

7/20/2012 3 comments

Dear mom

by life sucks thin u die 7/10/2012

written by life sucks thin u die

So its coming up really soon that my mom will now be dead for two years. That’s still really hard to think of, i still cry over her and think that i was a shitty daughter to her. I mean if i wasn’t a good daughter why should the fuck should i be a mom or matter of fact even be alive. Why should i continue to be on this earth if i am not with the one person that i miss and love and still need? Yes i am twenty years old and i need to start to be on my own. It kills […]

7/10/2012 1 comment

Feeling worthless

by kindalostkid 7/9/2012

written by kindalostkid

I’ve been dealing with depression for over 2 yrs. now. And I’ve attempted suicide multiple times from taking pills to OD, to crashing my car. I used to cut all the time when I got really upset. I told my “2nd mom” about all this and she was really worried one day I told her I wanted to die. And me her and her daughter (my ex) went to a hospital for me to get help I took a couple classes and hated it, it wasn’t helping so I left. I went on medication for my depression doctors not knowing I was suicidal. I still […]

7/9/2012 1 comment

We’re not average people

by BehindtheSmile 7/9/2012

written by BehindtheSmile

I know most of us here feel like outcasts in the normal world. We are just a little bit different from everyone else. The world does not seem to fit us.
I think a lot of it may be because we are just a bit more, philosophically mature, I guess. Whether it’s because of the terrible things we’ve been through, or simply because we were born this way, we seem to think more about life, and are mature enough to acknowledge that there is something wrong with the world.
Most people, I have found, rely on religion, or other people’s ideas for answers. But we […]

7/9/2012 8 comments

Started scratching.

by dudeme65 7/2/2012

written by dudeme65

Hey everyone, I’ve been a long time lurker, this is my first post. I don’t really know where else to go to get advice or support or anything like that.

Basically I’ve had depression for 3 years now (I’m 18, turning 19 in a few months), and I’ve just been suffering through it, I’ve been thinking about suicide every day but I’m too much of a coward to just do it. In all honesty, if I had a gun or something, I’d do it, but I’m just scared of the pain.

Anyways yeah so I’ve been talking about it with one of my friends and this girl […]

7/2/2012 3 comments

words that saved me today:

by NotReallyHereAtAll 6/26/2012

written by NotReallyHereAtAll

“I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.”– The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (by Stephen Chbosky)

Today, those words from my all time favourite book saved me and made me feel so much less alone. I can’t explain how I feel any better than this quote can […]

6/26/2012 4 comments

A Slip-Up

by mishapenxx 6/25/2012

written by mishapenxx

I slipped up.

I haven’t been here in while. A very long while. Not because the monster inside of me was gone, more because being empty is consistent, and this little bit of venting was enough to keep me just above empty.

I was doing a little bit better actually.

Adjusting.

But I made the mistake of letting someone in.

I should know better.

I know now that I am not pathetic for needing someone in my life. I used to always feel so weak for wanting someone to be there for me.

Humans are not designed to be solitary creatures, in my opinion.

And maybe it’s because I was sexually abused as […]

6/25/2012 3 comments

Still no hope.

by one_big_accident 6/8/2012

written by one_big_accident

Ive felt like killing myself for so long now. I thought I was fine for a little bit but what do ya know…. I’m back. I hate almost everything. No one answers or talks to me. My dad is all the time asking and saying hurtful things “you have any friends son?” “you gay or something?!” “when you gonna get a girl friend?” just things of the sort and it dosnt help at all. My brother used to call me adopted when I was little. I know he was kidding and just being how a lot of big brothers are. But I really wish I […]

6/8/2012 7 comments

Death

by Jonny 6/8/2012

written by Jonny

This post isn’t about me dying, that is for a little bit later today. No, this is about how i have now lost my second reletive to death in 3 weeks and i have to go to the latest one’s funeral on monday if i am alive. Â yet i feel no remorse or saddness. only loathing for them… what does that make me???

6/8/2012 3 comments

The time to sleep.

by blind.cinderella 5/31/2012

written by blind.cinderella

Have i reached the point when i stop caring, when the numbness finally wraps me coldly…or am i just crazy

I don t know but it feels great. I can’t eat which is awesome and i hope it will last because i wanted too lose weight anywayz. I can’t sleep either which concerned me since i could sleep like always at every time of Â the day and sometimes i overslept the entire day. I am failing exams and not studying but i don t feel guilty. I am not happy nor sad or angry i am just here, existing and it s fine. i wanted this […]

5/31/2012 0 comment

i dont know

by noexception 5/24/2012

written by noexception

i just took a bunch a sleeping pills, wasnt paying attention to how much,doesnt matter anyways, you know that pain, that deep horrible pain that you cant bear anymore?i had to do somthin, i had to take stuff to help me sleep, i want to escape for a little bit,something kept telling me to take more, not a voice but this feeling, like my conciounce keept screaming out(just take one more,)so i did,hope it dont kill me, i have a plan , its to lay on the rail road tracks,well the pills are starting to kick in, i still feel the pain,i feel a little […]

5/24/2012 1 comment

Please help

by saddy 5/22/2012

written by saddy

I just keep on going, but I’m so very tired of it. My family loves me, my girlfriend loves me, none of them want me to give up and go. But it’s all I can do to just brush my teeth or eat something.

I lost my job a month ago. It was my first real job out of college. It was full-time, paid very well. I was so happy. Elated. I wanted to do my best, and my boss wanted us to be best friends (she said as much). I should have known better. Your boss is not your friend. I confided in her, relied […]

5/22/2012 5 comments

i wont be okay.

by dance4456 5/19/2012

written by dance4456

For 7 months i have been in this state.
at first it started as saddness,but as time went by it turned into pain and numbness.
I turned to a friend who understood how i felt. But he kept telling me to wait a little bit, and i wouldbe okay. But ive waited to damn long, and everything just keeps getting worse! Im sick of it!

5/19/2012 2 comments

im giving in

by holdingOn 5/17/2012

written by holdingOn

The pressure is building, and I am about to fucking explode, but I know that if I cut then I’ll be alright even just for a little bit while I stain my arm red. I want to die. But if death would bring me peace then I don’t deserve it. I can’t feel anymore. Does this make sense? I have gone completely numb.Â All i have is the memories of the actual emotions. but it’s almost as if they are scratching the surface, and maybe if I cut they’ll come seeping out so i can feel again.

Why am I so alone. I feel so empty. […]

5/17/2012 7 comments

‘Personal expectations’ with no shepherd

by NotComplete 5/13/2012

written by NotComplete

Sorry for my bad English, I’m Dutch/French (I’m a 18 years old, school dropout). I hope this all makes somewhat sense…

I was seen as a child prodigy when I was child (learned myself read at a young age and I went directly to second year of primary school), but everything went bad in secundary school.Â I feel totally useless. I have nothing to live for. The expectations that society has, the expectations I have of myself. The reality that doesn’t fit the expectations. My apathy towards humans, towards my family. I have no friends, I never needed friends, neither have I desired to have friends. I […]

5/13/2012 7 comments

Still here. Barely

by Dr.Shazbot 5/12/2012

written by Dr.Shazbot

Before I begin, if you might want to read my previous post for some context. Â http://suicideproject.org/2012/03/want-to-just-die/

I’m still here. Â Not much of an accomplishment really. Â Still depressed. Â Still having very suicidal thoughts. Â Not constantly, but it’s like they’re always there, waiting for me to have just one very bad day.

My ex and I were friends. Â The she just stopped returning my texts. Â I didn’t know why. Â Still not sure I do. Â About three weeks ago. Â I texted her and basically wouldn’t stop until she told me what was going on. Â All she said was that I can be annoying somtimes. Â I admit that sometimes this […]

5/12/2012 3 comments

here

by fakingit 5/12/2012

written by fakingit

im here still. i’d say im better, but now im confused maybe i was never depressed no i am i can feel it. life has gotten better but not good enough to earase my depression. i think i might have slipped out of my own world for a little bit im sure i’ll fall back but im trying to enjoy life as much as i can while im feeling this some sorta happiness. then i realized i want thing: for the world to be happy the way i am too.

5/12/2012 2 comments

staying sober is hard I know

by maybe_soon_500_days_of_you 5/5/2012

written by maybe_soon_500_days_of_you

May 5 2012 Day 1

Today I had an idea. It is a good idea I think. From this day I will stay sober! There is this really disgusting habit(addiction) I have and I do believe it influenced my life in a way I never imagined. I know I can’t get the girl I love, even if I stay sober now for ever, but I can help myself a lot. I hope my emotional roller coaster will stop. It is not a serious problem, nothing life threating, but my addiction is bad for me. Very bad. I am feeling so sick every time after I lived […]

5/5/2012 4 comments

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