Hi , so i went to the animal shelter today . I saw soo much cute dog’s and cat’s  , and many of the dog’s we’re sooo happy to see me in a long time . I love this one dog who’s name is Heimlakka he’s a 9 month old dog who’s always happy … i love Heimlakka because he has adorable eyes , if you look into his eyes they make you think … his eyes are sad , dark brown and sentimental . He makes me happy . 🙂
Then there was one cat , i don’t know what his name was , […]
Tag:
Little Bit
I didnt even drink on saturday because i knew id talk to her that night, today we only got to talk for a little bit, I’ll see her in person again on Tuesday. I’m crazy about her, just need to make it until Friday when we have our date. But 5 days seems like forever, and even if i do last, the only thing ive got to look forward to will be over, then i can be done with it, then it can be over…
I am surrounded by people yet I am so lonely, my husband doesn’t love me, thenonlynman that did is dead, my dad, my mom adores my brother that have taken from me my life, money love and I work hard for everything. My own husband doesn’t provide for me less emotionally. I a a piece of meat. I’m lost so tired I just wishnJesus would come for me. It was a mistake to be born. I don’t fit in and I am worthless to all. Now my greatest joy mynjob isntakingnanchange formthenworse, and all I have is a computer to type and hope that […]
i used to believe in so many things. i believed in happiness. i believed in happy endings. i believed in miracles. i even believed in destiny. but now i don’t even know what the word ” believe ” means. my parents are divorcing and i’m realizing that no one actually really cared about me. not even a little bit. not even at all. because they don’t know understand how much it hurts to be the messed up one. the mistake. the failure. i’ve got no reason to be watched. i’ve got nothing special. i’m just .. broken. i don’t think it’s even possible to […]
Today was one of the weirdest days of my life. I have been depressed since I was 10 years old. I’m 14 right now. I have attempted suicide 4 times. I have tried to drown myself, I have thrown myself down stairs trying to break my neck, I have tried strangling myself, and I have taken 15 pills. Today, I was bickering with my boyfriend John all day. We argued over him eating, me eating, and me cutting myself. First time we argued it wasn’t that bad. Then I told him that I was craving blood. He didn’t quite understand. So then I went upstairs to […]
I feel like my life has been a blur..a blur I didnt want to acknowledge until I realized its eating me inside and im basically dead already. I am ashamed of myself and I cant speak to ANYBODY about this. I dont want to die.. but i dont want to exist either. I dont want to exist because there is not a day im not reminded of the torture and abuse i had to withstand and have never been able to share with anybody. I was sexually abused and molested when i was a kid..for several years. I was confused. I didnt know what was […]
My mom and I just got in another fight. It’s always about stupid stuff. I just can’t do this anymore. She treats me like such a child and all I want to do is leave but, not enough money..
Between my parents, school, and just feeling awful in general all I want to do is just slice my arms up til I can’t feel anymore. But I work the weekend and I don’t want anyone to see them. I know it’s bad and I know I shouldni’t do it, but cuttings the only thing that helps anymore. For even just a little bit it makes me […]
I dont know where to begin. I was an only child of divorced parents. Both of them remarried when I was 5. My dad and step mom brought  my wonderful brother in this world when I was 7. I was young then so i really didnt see where the attention was going. But as the years came and went and i was around 13 thats when I started cutting myself, in middle school. 8th grade to be exact. I used to lie about it and say that I cut myself on a bush or some bull shit like that. I used anything I could, broken […]
It was so lonely
in the cold and dark
and life will continue
when your gone
but you wont regret it
will you?
there will be those that dont give a shit
or care even a little bit
but
i’ll always care about you
whoever you are
wherever you are
i’ll always be there for you
throughout the cold and the dark.
I am a little bit ashamed i am here now. I am not thinking about suicide again, at least not so often. I just have this constant feeling of being down.
I am sometimes thinking i am not capable of feeling good or enjoying life. I have those episodes of euphoria when something incredible happens and when life surprises me spontaneously. But i feel they are terribly rare. I know i have no reason to be unhappy because i have so many things and new people around me and i even learned to be happy because of others. I also tried to talk about my problems […]
Im saving money, running away, then killing myself. I’m hoping i get this job first, then save up to at lease 800 and hopefully that’ll be by the end of march. and if i dont have a job by then end of march 31st which is a Saturday and a little bit of money (at lease to get me to a plane ticket) then im still leaving. far away. When i  get there, ill get a hotel and kill myself. Why do all this? Well, I just cant take it here no more, i just want to leave everything and everyone. and When i do […]
At work….can’t stop crying between patients. Â My wife left me about 7 months ago. I finally got to talk to her and she acted like a total stranger with me. There was apathy on her side. She hates me …even thought i didn’t do anything to her…cheating…hitting…nothing. She just stop loving me. I am taking med now..but they are helping just a little bit. I still want too take sleeping pill and never wake up. My wife wouldn’t give a shit anyway….i am death to her….why not be dead in real life then
My mom just took her own life back in july and i am the one that found her. I dont know what to think of this. and i have a really difficult time understanding why. I am going to counseling and it helps.. I just feel down a lot of times. I have thought a little bit about doing what my mom did. But i dont think i could every put someone through the pain i have went through… My dad is also in jail now.. So Help me understand and advice? Please.
I’m sick of crying
holding to your words that I begin to doubt.
Wondering to myself in silence
my darling, will you come back?
Why, like my life you made so colorful,
you causes so much pain to my soul?
Do you understand,
a little bit of that pain?
You made me a melancholy person.
Don’t you see?
Why don’t you see that
for you I kill and die?
Do you want proof?
Do you want me to die for you?
You act that way a while longer.
You’ll see how you’re killing me.
And I’m left kill.
You are the deadliest poison that pollutes my soul.
But if I leave you […]
I can try to get by, But every time I start to panic, I’m a little bit shy, A bit strange and a little bit manic….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I want to do it.
On monday, im planning again…. Apart from this time i haven’t made the mistake of telling ‘Everyone’. So my intention is to travel to a bridge…and you can probably guess the rest….
Life has not gotten better, its gotten worse? My OCD has. Fear of things are coming back…and my hands can tell you that, they don’t appreciate soap as much as i thought they would….
My family know ‘Everything’…at least thats what they think, they’re some things i havent told anyone….and probably never will….It has just made life awkward, and the arguements don’t stop, either about me or about my dad.
My new […]
Me, when are you going to realize, no-one is coming to save you. I want to love you so badly; and when I try to you say you don’t deserve it. Why won’t you let me love you? I want to so badly, you need it. Accept it, don’t turn away-please. I think I can love you, just let me in. It’s okay. I know you stay for them. You love them.
Hello it’s been awhile since I’ve been in this but I’m back and I wanna help all of you.Everyhing stays confidential and I will try to help in what ever way I can.I won’t judge anyone because we are all in the same position here,I just wanna help people and try to make there lives just a little bit bearable.i don’t think anyone should commit suicide but that isn’t my choice so I won’t stop you in that decision.you don’t have to tell me anything immediately we could just be friends first or whatever you want but I am very understanding so please let me […]
I ran away from my home, in Austin, at 15 to my 16 year-old boyfriend’s house in Dallas. I left behind my family, my friends, and everything I had known in my life on a whim for someone I’d known for a month. He convinced me that my life at home was dangerous because of my dad’s abusive past and I’d be better off with him. To me, he was everything, he was my world. I knew for a fact I couldn’t live without him now that I had him. I was addicted, consumed. I didn’t make it to Dallas, however. A police officer found […]
For the past three or four years i’ve though about killing my self on my birthday which is coming up in a little bit.Im getting married in septembor but i dont don’t know if i can suvive my birthday by the way i had a wierd dream earlyer today about i was at my birthday and people off of here started walking up and then every one started falling down then i woke up .
Dena does know about all the times I’ve cut myself, and all the times I’ve tried to kill myself. She’s drilled into my head that she loves me,and life is worth something. I hope all of you know you have something or someone to live for.