I’m going to try and give my story the best way I can. I haven’t been on this Earth for a very long time, and I’ve been plagued by problems (but not as much compared to come of the posts I’ve read on here). I started having suicidal thoughts when I was about 10, and I’ve had them ever since. I started having them because I was being bullied very badly at school. My Mother (who is going to appear many times in this story), also picked on me but not as bad. Fast forward 2 years from then, I started getting homeschooled, and my […]
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Long Time
I’ve been feeling some fear lately, and some anxiety too. Â I quit my job recently, I had too, it was only going to get worse. Â I have some savings to live on, but I don’t know where I go from here. Â My brain is damaged, it doesn’t work right, and you can read my first post if you want the details, but basically I did it under the influence of drugs a long time ago and things have gotten progressively worse over the last few years. Â Many hospitalizations, a lot of suicidal times. Â Lately, I haven’t really gone there, I’m much more curious as to […]
My boyfriend and I have had a relationship for 9 years. It has had it’s wonderful moments.. but it has had many bad ones too. I get so angry with him for his lack of care and concern. I’ve thrown him out recently and now I feel as though my entire world is gone. I have no desire to even want to wake up! EVER AGAIN! All i have ever wanted was his love. I’ve had people tell me he loves me. I’ve heard hims say it. But I have not felt it in such a very long time. […]
Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they’ve begun to question “Is this real, or is this just a ride?”
Other people have remembered, and they’ve come back to us and they say “Hey don’t worry. Don’t be afraid (ever) because this is just a ride.”
So we.. Kill those people.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMUiwTubYu0
“Shut him up.
We have a lot invested in this ride.
SHUT HIM UP!
Look at my furrows of worry.
Look at my big bank account, and my family.
This just has to be real.”
It’s just a ride.
I lost my sibling a long time ago
I didn’t even know them
But I feel like they’d be a better person than I am
And that they’d make more out of life than I have
I shouldn’t even be alive
They should
It’s not fair
It never was
hi, i’m not a good writer, so i’ll just lay it out. Â im 32, ive spent the last four years busting my ass to get into grad school. I have always been depressed, but I don’t remember much from before my dad died. Last may I found out I was gonna have a son. In Sept my mom died. In Dec my baby was born. This semester was a blur, but I managed to fail the GRE, get rejected from grad school, fail a critical class, but I managed to walk with my class back in may. My aunt has just been diagnosed with […]
Why am I like this?I’m a 14 year old girl, at the end of my freshman year of high school. And all I can think about is killing myself. I don’t understand why I’m like this, am I crazy? It feels like everyone else is just strolling along happily while I’m stuck in a hole deep underground. I’ve felt like this for the past 3 years, I cut myself for a while and I’m trying to stop because I’m sick of being embarrassed of myself but the urges are returning. The feelings of desperation and loneliness take up most of my day. I […]
I’m not lost, I’m not in pain, I’m not under that much stress (22/m/In college), I don’t have too bad a life actually. My dad is unemployed so with my part time job I’m helping him stay afloat back home but I don’t mind. He wiped my ass when I shat my diapers as a baby and now I’m repaying him by helping him when he needs it. I’m not religious. I never understood the whole God thing. Not that I didn’t go to church. I really tried to believe, I wanted to believe, I just couldn’t buy into the invisible dude in the sky […]
I’m no longer myself anymore. I’ve morphed into something so beautiful, yet so fragile. Like a butterfly. I started off as a small egg. Then I was hatched, brought into a world where there were larger things than I. Things that were sure to destroy me. I was pummeled and shown horrors no little caterpillar should. All the while I spent my time absorbing and eating up the words that were viciously thrown at me. I chose to listen. I guess eventually the little caterpillar me had had enough,so I formed walls around me. I was to stay there forever. Safe, and warm, and perfectly […]
I’m 13 years old. I would tell you my name, but being new here, I don’t know if I can trust you all to that extent yet. Normally, I post poems that reflect how I feel at the moment, or how I felt throughout the day, but right now I’d like to get a few things off my chest. I’ve told a few of my friends some of this before, but no one knows all of it at its worst. I feel as though I can trust all of you with at least this, even if I don’t know you. So here it goes.
My story:
there are more than 100 ways to let go. but the only thing keeping you where you are is your own cage. your mind constricts you to where you are. there is no way around it. ive laid down for them a long time ago. all i wanted was to be a better, stronger person. i hate who i have become for them. ive gone through all this, pain, doubt, and dislike in myself because ive listened to them.
when will it ever be enough? this weekend i will make that change. no more being caged!
i tried to kill myself. more than once actually. i was put in the hospital for 3 weeks. and while i was in there i was happy. i was that happy and excited kid i was before depression took over me. but as soon as i got out everything went back to the way it was before. my mom and dad scream and yell at me all the time, they make me feel worthless, and they make me just want to run away and never look back. My brother lives in a different city and i haven’t talked to him in a long time. me […]
Why did he ask me for a kiss? Why did he have to tell me he loved me? How come my heart told me over and over again he meant it? I felt like I was floating even though he was wrapping his arms around me, telling me to never go. His laugh made me smile. His touch was felt everywhere and the way he kissed me tugged on my heart. Why did he have to fill my head with all these lies? Why couldn’t he just tell me he wanted one thing? It would have been easier. Why did he make me feel higher […]
I haven’t had one of these ‘episodes’ in a while. I woke up crying, and haven’t stopped all day. Now it’s 6PM and I realise I have been crying in bed all day. I haven’t eaten anything.
Why do I have to keep suffering? Why can’t I just be healthy and happy like everyone else. Why do I have to go through this…
I want it to stop, but I don’t even think cutting would make me feel better… I just want to fall asleep and never wake up…
Tonite… I gave up… I am empty now… It happened right in front of you.. It all went away, and I could see things clearly, without emotion…
Tonite.. I accpted that I am not good enough, and I never will be.. That I never have been, It’s nobody’s fault but mine.. I dont know why.. I have always tried.. I have always failed.. I dont know why, but it doesn’t make sense to blame anyone else.. It can either be a fault in me that everyone else sees, or everyone but me is at fault.. whether I see it, know what it is, or accept it, […]
He is looking at me, I know, I can feel it. I’m too scared to look back, because if I will, I might fall in love with him agian. But I glance a bit and I prove myself that I was right, he is staring at me. I look away and say something to my friend. I laugh, but my heart is falling apart. I glance agian. He is not looking at me anymore.
Not long time ago I texted him. I said that I miss him and I asked him out on a date. No was the answer.
Bye bye, my dear.
But please, if You don’t like […]
I have stumbled across this site on accident and after looking over it all night and then joining, I am so grateful to have found it. I’ve been needing to talk to someone for a long time (decades, really). I realized I am scared to share it on here, also. No one will care (even though I know that here is the most probable place I will find like minds), it will be too long (because it is, indeed, an extremely long story and would probably have to be done in increments), because even though my problems ARE severe, I am fully aware that many […]
I wanted to share an amazing quote from a incredible Comedian/Genius.
The World is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, because that’s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round, and it has thrills and chills and is very brightly colored, and it’s very loud. And it’s fun, for a while.
Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they’ve begun to question, ‘Is this real, or is this just a ride?’, and other people have remembered, and they’ve come back to […]
Alright so, I may be young but I feel like I’ve gone through a lot. I feel tired of life. I’ve thought about commiting suicide so many times but I look into my future. I have a lot to go through. But anywho, the reason why I feel like this is because of my family, especially my mother. For a long time now, its turned into an everyday thing to argue. My mother makes me feel like im nothing. Wishing for me to not be her daughter, and regreting to have me. Im not good enough, I don’t do anything right. All I do is […]
For a long time i have felt but a hollow shell and unwanted/loved. NO matter what the incident is I am the one who is to yell at. Feeling unloved by my parents is the worst, I have never lived up to my sisters, straight A students, went to college, got good jobs. Me i don’t even get a second look by my parents. Listening to all the accomplishments my sisters have is annoying. I had always showed my love towards my family but since birth i was hated. Locked outside to “play” while my sisters watched TV. Sent to my room where their was […]