I am losing control, I am losing myself, I have held on to me for so long, but my grasp of reality is slipping, I feel it, with every word that is spoken to me, with every look that’s given, I fall more, I lose myself more, I am drifting back to that pool of sadness that last time almost ate me whole.
I’m so angry. I get so angry that my hands shake and that i forget to breathe. I’m angry because I can’t change anything. Being angry makes me angry. Having to see her face infuriates me beyond belief. I’m angry because I still have 2 more years of this stupid shit to deal with. 2 more years until I can leave and never look back. The thing is, I wanted to look back, and see my family and see my dad and know that I had a home. Im angry because I know how how it’s gonna end. He’s gonna die and i’m never going […]
It was a beautiful midwestern night, the stars shining in the sky like they only do in the country. The weather outside is unpredictable, as it always is here. A night that almost shakes with opportunity. A poor boy shares the time with his best friend. This night she is working, but he’s there talking to her anyways. They chat as easily as they always have, but something’s different tonight.
I’m not sure she notices that so much has changed, the way I look at her, the way my heart’s beating of my chest just being near her. All the small things, oh Christ. Just […]
Hello loves! Here is your positive post challenge of the day…it’s simple, but in my opinion, very powerful. Compliment yourself. Look yourself straight in the eye and tell yourself that you are strong, courageous, beautiful, etc. Then, after you have done that, compliment someone else. It could be a loved one, your pet, a stranger, anyone. Good Luck 🙂
She stands there, the darkness stains her skin, turning it form it’s normal tan color to that of the darkest night. It runs over her skin like droplets of blood. It misses every scar, every last cut on her skin. It terrifies her, this darkness, but that terror is intoxicating, as intoxicating as that first bottle of whiskey she choked down. As intoxicating as her first pill, as her slow fall into this hell. The woman never meant to let this happen, she swore that she was too strong for this to take here down. She was strong goddammit, and she was normal, she had […]
since i was here last, things have been getting steadily worse and worse in my mind. i’m lonely as ever, but can’t go outside or talk to people because of my social phobia. i still live in my little shoebox of a room, where i’m on the internet all day, every day, because if i don’t have that connection i’ll be completely alone. all i want right now is love, something i’ve never had. i want a boyfriend. but i’ll never be loved because i do not look like a model, and it sucks knowing this. it hurts to not be touched or anything, it […]
Just an update my car is uncomfortable it does not have good lumbar support lol I’m sleeping in a Parking garage I’m hungry my neck hurts I have no money and I have a continuous headache I took a shower at my gym because I have not yet lost my membership I spend my day going to different subways until they kick me the fuck out so I can use the wifi to look for shit jobs because my data is very low. I’m […]
I feel like I’m done with life. I can’t go on beyond this anymore.
I’m a 24 year old guy. I’m severely depressed. I’ve never in my life had a girlfriend, and it looks like this is my life. I’ve always been too shy and socially awkward and I basically can’t approach girls and don’t know how. And I’ve also been rejected by the handful of girls I’ve approached. I don’t bother trying anymore. I’m sure that even online dating won’t work for me, so I haven’t tried it. Besides, who wants to date a depressed suicidal person anyway? The irony in all this is that […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3K1t0669no
ive always felt ugly. i am fat and ugly. i recently lost a lot of weight. i went from weighing 180lbs to weighing 145lbs but now i weigh 160lbs and i am just so ugly and weak. food is my weakness. i love food but i hate it at the same time. this happens all the time. i lose the weight but then i gain a lot of weight, i dont know why. i hate the way i look. it depresses me, it really really depresses me. i cry about it all the time. my body is a big issue of mine. i just cant […]
This is my first post on this site so I am not used to this type of thing. Getting to the initial point, I was always the outcast in my home town, by both my family and in high school. Everyone else at school was happy and I never was able to make any friends through my 4 years. I told my family about this and they told me that it was me, I was called antisocial and a loser and all that. I believed them, I still do to this day. I don’t want to go into all the details of what went down […]
Ok i know that all of y’all are probably tired of my lame ass story. I am too. I wish that everything just wasn’t so messed up. Today i felt like everything was alright and then i started thinking and i really it’s not. Yeah i know everybody has their problems but i want a break. I want to be able to be free. Trapped by my own mind. Shame. I am not look for a shoulder to cry on anymore. I will cry my tears but i won’t ask for help. I will do what i do best and hide behind a fake […]
I was just called stupid by my own husband that decided I’m holding him back and that me cutting myself was and is a stupid way to let go of my pain. But what does he know he doesn’t know how much depression hurts and how bad of a toll it takes on people. Anyways he’s deciding that being with me is to much of a problem so as of now I have nothing to look forward to waking up to every day anymore. At least this feeling of hating myself and feeling like a pathetic loser is going to be over soon.
I’ve been down for too long. I want to meet new friends, do new things. I’m tired of feeling sad. I want to live, I know there’s more to life, I just need someone to show me. I need new friends that will motivate me, who will encourage me and friends that will look out for me. All I need is a listening ear.
My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me because I’m “too needy” and “gloomy all the time”. I’m sorry for wanting to spend more than 4 hours a week with you. I’m sorry for getting jelous and depressed when you tell me that you’re hanging out with your friends, and it turns out one of them is a some pretty girl. How did I find this out, because you fucking came to say hi to me at work while you two were alone. I’m sorry that I got upset when I found out you were giving my mega slut “friend” car rides to school […]
So I was considering uploading a picture of some severe scarring I have. It’s not to show off or glorify cutting. I actually wanted to ask if anyone knew how to heal them (or if they could be healed) because like I said they are very severe and ask if people think it will majorly interfere with my life. I haven’t cut for four months but the scars still look fresh. I just didn’t want to upset anyone or encourage or give people the idea of cutting. Would this be acceptable? I’m not interested in causing problems, they are just a major source of stress […]
It’s been 3 minutes since I walked through the front door and I’m in tears.
i knew I should’ve stayed outside, it took me a while to convince myself to come inside anyways.
First minute:
I walked through the door and the second I do my dad tell me to hurry up and put my backpack down and go see him.
second minute:
i went to go see my dad and he said he has stuff for me to do, I told him he has to hurry because i have a lot of homework tonight and he automatically got mad at me and started yelling at me saying I’m selfish […]
I got to school late today, I walked in and there were kids flooding the hallways, I just had my earbuds in and I was walking. All I could hear was my music and it’s amazing, nobody cares and that’s just the cold hard truth. They look at me and they avoid me because I am apparently “hard to approach.” It’s amazing cus I just as easily walked passed my boyfriend and all my friends, but nope not a single head turned my way. Nobody notices me. It would be like that if I were dead too cus I’m just that girl with pink hair […]
I think I’m going to commit suicide soon I’m so scared to do it I can’t take the pain anymore I’m going to leave letters for my family and friends none of my friends know about my depression and cutting not even my family knows it’s just weird how you look around the place you grew up and knowing that you won’t ever see this place again there’s a lot I want to do with my life but I got past that I don’t care about everything I wanted to do or the places I wanted to go I’ll be ok soon the pain will […]
I am too depressed to do anything, I can’t get any homework done because im too depressed, I just look at dead girls on the internet and masturbate, then I suffocate myself and masturbate, then I cry and punch the walls, then I go to sleep. And at school Im too depressed to focus on my work, No one understands how I feel, I already trusted someone before and now even if people know about my depression it just makes things worse