I don’t know why I feel this way. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m tired of feeling down and depressed all the time, and constantly feeling unloved. I have a story just like everybody else, but what’s the point of telling it? Everybody has their own problems, why should I complain about mine? I just wish I stayed dead…I’ll still never understand why I came back. I just don’t know what to do anymore…but death sounds better and better every day. I’m just broken beyond repair.
Tag:
Lost
You ended the silence in my heart, and mind,
I saw love, when I thought I was all but blind,
You are why I stay, you mean so much to me,
I hold onto you, and you do to me, I can see,
You suffer when you shouldn’t, so I feel pain,
You don’t deserve it, but your strength wanes…
Without you, life is hard, and I feel weak,
But I stay, to see you, and hear you speak,
“I love you”, you will say, and I will too,
As I will wait forever, to just say that to you,
You are my strength, and my […]
I am a over thinker
Usually at night all of my problems run to my head and hit me like a freight train
I can’t do anything about it because everyone is asleep
I can’t cry because they will hear me
I can’t scream either
Literally all I can do is lay there all numb bottling up my thoughts
Later it leads to me over thinking things that arn’t even true
That my mind is just making up
And I’m believing it
I start to get fusturated, mad, sad, wanting to hurt someone
But instead I hurt myself
I grab the sharp edge and […]
I’ve been cutting since 7th grade. In 7th grade is when I first got bullied, some girl called me ugly, I told her off, she got her friends to go kick my ass blah blah blah. I dropped out half the year and decided homeschooling would be better for me, but no. It got worse, it lead to cyber bullying. I went back in 8th grade thinking it would actually be better since new people will come in, it was actually way worse than the year before. Rumors went around and what not. I left half that year also. During that summer, I made a […]
yeah, so this is the first time im posting something on this site, 3 weeks ago, my friend Steve suicided in the cafeteria, everyone saw it, blood on the wall behind him, gun on the ground, I stayed in the cafeteria for 3 hours, then a teacher told me to go and relax. Im moving in 3 days, my parents are not together anymore, it feels really bad, plus my dad told me it was my fault, and my mom told me I was ”retarded”.. She told this to me because when I told her that I need help, the first thing she told to […]
On TV or in books the protagonist is always described as “ordinary girl”, someone that just looks like no one special but turns out to be very special to just the right boy… People always want to stand out, be that little bit extra pretty, extra smart and just special. I just realised from the very beginning that I had no shot at being special in a good, charming way and extra pretty never kicked in either. I lost the “cute” when I turned about 12 and it just never came back. Instead I just grew tall, and big and insecure. I faked confidence well […]
~Broken~
When will you learn?
That I am not always going to be there
For you to vent you’re anger on,
That I am not a toy to you,
And you will push me to the brink
I will hurt, over and over,
Cutting deeper and deeper
Until everything in me is ruined,
Until I have hurt so much it isn’t possible to hurt any more.
When will you try?
To help me
To stop hurting me
To make me feel like I was supposed to be born
To help me not be afraid
Of you,
Of trusting you,
Of loving you,
’cause I can’t survive the destroying of my heart
I won’t always be able to pick up the pieces,
To mold them […]
Is life even worth living anymore?
I have been trying, struggling against suicidal thoughts. I have been getting help, but it is still not working. I am scared, scared that I won’t live to become a teenager (I am not yet in my teens). I cry and cry and try to tell my friends, but I’m scared of their reactions. I hate myself because I am not strong enough, they are so strong, no matter what happens, they don’t think of suicide. But me? I can’t stop thinking of it. I am scared and hurt and I need help but I am too afraid to […]
.I feel so depressed, I feel like i’m becoming emotionally and physically weaker! I just feel so dull and sick that I don’t even want to wake up in the mornings and feel like i have no hope :'( No one accepts me the way i am and I have become a bit boring since my depression. Idk if its because of that or not though…=( Gahh sorry for being dramatic but i feel very bad nowadays I’ve been lonelier than ever before as my self-proclaimed “best friends” don’t even message me or call me or anything. I understand that I go to a different […]
I saw pictures of him snogging another girl at this party. It’s my 17th next week and I was going to tell him I was sorry and could he forgive me and give us another go.
I’d split up with him because I felt unable to commit myself emotionally, I couldn’t give him the time nor attention he deserved. I think the biggest reason is that I knew he wasn’t in to me, I was just a way for him to get back at his ex, who is one of my close mates.
But I fucking love him. I really do. and I want him to keep […]
I’m so tired of crying myself to sleep every night. I wake up in the morning crying. When I actually make it into work I fight back the tears until I can no longer take it, at which point I go cry in the bathroom. I’m in college and when I’m at school I managed to keep it together as far as not crying but I don’t hear anything the teacher’s saying. My mind is a clouded mess. I can’t focus on anything school related. All I can focus on is holding the tears back or all the thoughts that are constantly bombarding my mind. […]
I stumbled on this site looking for stories like mine i was devasted to find ppl contemplating suicide. i lost my fiance to suicide 8 mnths ago we were together 9yrs and soulmates I’m now 25yrs old and left to raise our 6yr old daughter alone i watch her cry for her dad every night as do i. i canot express or explain the pain i feel it is unbearable and to watch your daughters pain wile dealing with your own is enough to make u insaine. loosing a loved one to suicide is da worst way possible you are left with feelings of not […]
I cannot WAIT till im a adult. Then i’ll just be as far as possible from my home and my family. Now before i go on my rant, let me just say no, i dont have a physically abusive family, no are my parents divorced nor are they dead, sick or drug addicts. They just treat me like woman were treated in the 1940’s. No rights. No freedom. They were OBLIGED to stay home and work, things like that. Well that’s how I am treated. I have been occasionally depressed for a while now. (my depressive bouts usually last between hours to a week). Anyway, […]
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I had a secret, a dark little secret.
But I told and now I don’t.
He understood ‘cus he’s been through the same.
Little secret has now been told.
Vulnerable like a flower in a storm.
Like a fish outside of water,
I cannot breathe anymore.
I’m scared
I’m broken
I’m lost
Little pieces of me are shattered across the floor
A shattered soul
In this black hole I have no escape
Mummy says I’m too young to be depressed
Daddy already has other two perfect daughters
Friends are clueless
Parts of my past are forgotten
And fuck how I wish I could remember
All my hope is gone… The little bit hope I had is gone. I really don’t think my life is ever going to be better. I’m fighting for more than 12 years now to get a better life where I can be real happy with, not fake happy. But in those 12 years, my life only got worse and worse… People say that when life is really terrible, it only could go better. Well, NO, it only can get worser!! (At least in my life) I wish I wasn’t on this earth anymore. I just want to die…. But I’m under controle right now. I […]
Round and round the circle she spun
Hair pinned back by forceful gusts
Tripped and trapped with no way out
Round and round she spun forever
Salt streaks mark where tears had fallen
Her eyes hollowed by years of pain
Sweet misery and the blade that followed
Round and round the cirle she spun
Justice is a liar, truth set on fire
And all of the hurt is burning inside her
She never could hold on
Spinning as she plunged on down…
Today at school we had something called “challenge day.” Basically 100 students and 20 teachers get together, do trust exercises, and spill their guts to eachother. At the end of the whole thing, everyone feels so close. They all cried, hugged. I guess it was a big emotional event. I didn’t get to go though. The whole point of the program is to get people to realize everyone’s equal, nobody should be bullied, everyone should be accepted. I think that’s a bit hypocritical. Why do it if you’re going to exclude so many people from it? I’m not really sure about it. I wish i could’ve […]
I wish i could be a good daughter. I have just troubled my parents. they both are old and sick, and i do nothing for them. if my mom cries before me, i cant wipe her tears i cant even talk to her nicely. I always yell at her and my dad. my dad’s sick too but i never lend him a hand at anything. i cant get myself to do that. ill sit in my room and keep thinking i should be doing it but i cant get myself up to do it. still they are very nice they never say anything bad to […]
I don’t know what to say. Damn, I woke up and I felt like this automatically. I don’t love myself. I hate myself. I’ve fucked everything up somehow. I can’t do anything right, I’m ugly, and I”m fat. I always thought that guys would like me more because I am the way I am. I play video games all the time. I’m not girly. I like the color pink, and I like makeup, etc., but I love hunting, and I want to be a vet when I’m older. I’m pretty smart, I guess. I take Pre-AP classes, and I’ve kept all A’s all year, every […]
I hate you, you fucked up and lost it all. Get out of my head. Stop reminding me daily….your mom doesn’t want you back. You’ve lost your family. Your fucked. You can’t fix it. Help me. I want to but I don’t. Anybody. Talk to me. . I fucking hate you you stupid *****, look what you did. I’m sorry. I never thought it would turn out like this. It did. Now look at you, sitting here while it eats you alive while your not even fighting back. How can I try when it’s overpowered me? Nobody’s gonna fucking listen anyway, they say they will […]