As a child, I always thought that everyone hated me, that the little kindness they showed to me was out of sense of commitment. This is strictly concerneing my family though, I never felt this from strangers. Members of my family abused me sexualy and when I went to the other members for help they dismissed me, as a reuslt I never trusted family. As I grew I realised that family really felt mostly a sense of commitment except two of them. I remember telling myself in my youth I would either die crazy or kill myself, since I was 10 earliest I remember and […]
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Lot
When I say it’s been a “full” life, I definitely don’t mean it’s been a happy one. But I’ve accomplished a lot, experienced a lot, and now like a runner who’s exhausted and crippled from running so hard I’m going to stop.
Human society is anti-suicide. Everyone tells you it’s wrong, everyone tries to talk you out of it. That’s fine. But I really think suicide is a logical action when you no longer have a desire to live (a lot more logical than continuing to do something you don’t want to do).
I lost my desire to live a year ago when something horrible happened. I held on for […]
I was thinkin in a way to start telling you the way I feel everyday.But now, right now, I don’t feel good. And I have to explain that because if I don’t say anything it will be worst.
Three years ago, I knew a girl. She is a writer, I love how she write. One year ago, I talk to her for first time. I told her that I liked her. She doesn’t knew me, and I don’t knew her, but it was the truth. Months passed, and we keep talking. I got along with her. Over time, we know each other. I fell in love […]
I just stumbled across this site and skimmed some posts and comments and a lot of it seemed so familiar. The issues as well as the advice. Personally, I never found certain kinds of advice helpful but I will refrain from pointing out specific ones and instead just share my story and hope it will help people who are tired of the same old cliched phrases. If not… I think Doug Stanhope is absolutely right when he says (paraphrasing): “Life is like a movie. If it is shitty every step of the way, you shouldn’t blame somebody for walking out early.”
And I am going to […]
you know when you feel lower than everyone? your grades are not that high that no one lets you take a decision because they think youre too young… that everyone around you is aloud to tell you what you shouldnt do or be or even like, while you arent aloud to discuse with them….I’m here … lying in my bed thinking again about suicide… yes im sick of life like everyone! i’ve started to think about suicide since 6th grade… now im in secondary 4 … in overall i have problemes everywhere… whatever i may do people around me get dissapointed and if i do […]
As with most things lately a lot of shit is spoiling my plans for self deliverance but something happened a couple of hours ago that was more shit, but kind of funny.
I was in my basement cleaning an old M1 Garand Rifle that I need to sell to get some money, when I heard a loud banging on my door; no one calling just banging on the front and back door. I figured it was either my landlord or some other bill collector so I did not answer the door and just hid…as usual.
After a few minutes, it stopped and I went upstairs to the […]
I thought i was doing so great. Love is my poison. Confusion is like a knife. The fact i only have guy friends and every girl i know hates me when i’ve done nothing to them.. it hurts. you feel alone. my first love has become a monster. I just recovered from self harm and suicide a month ago and now im falling again. i want to be strong but i feel like i want to take something burning hot to my arm. possibly attempt to bleed again. i feel like everyone just thinks im completely annoying. i let the simplest things get to me […]
For the younger people (and those not), here is a site you might find useful. It has a LOT of free course material on endless subjects from science to in this case, ‘the philosophy of happiness’.
http://www.cosmolearning.com/documentaries/philosophy-a-guide-to-happiness/
Just remember, life does not change with time, rather it changes with effort & insight.
Thats the main page and as you can see the site covers everything from anthropology to Veterinary Science. It is a free educational website for students and teachers
http://www.cosmolearning.com/
Other good websites that present interesting information for those that seek it is Ted.com & Bigthink.com.
Hope this helps and is of interest and even broadens your perspective on things […]
I HATE THIS. I feel so many things, and at the same time I feel nothing. I spend part of my day believing that everything will turn out alright, and I spend the other part wondering how I can even fathom waking up tomorrow. I’ve managed to turn my life upside down (feel free to have a look at previous posts for something of an explanation, if you really care). I’ve hurt one of the people I love and need most. Not that she knows how much I need her in my life. She said I keep too much to myself, that I’m too secretive. […]
I haven’t had anything to drink for nearly four days know and I’m in a lot of pain I think I’m hallucinating but surely that means the end is near?
To the people around me I’m just that average semi popular kid who has a lot of friends and is always smiling. If they only knew how much effort I have to use to pretend like I’m this happy person. When in reality all I think about is ending my life. I weigh 120 lbs I’m 5’7 and I’m almost 18. I’ve attempted suicide a couple times with no success, I don’t even know why I continue to live this miserable existence. I suffer from terrible anxiety, bi polar, and bpd. I’ve tried multiple medicines, years of therapy their isn’t much left to try. I […]
A couple of years ago I was a completely normal person. I was happier and my life seemed normal. I laughed a lot and I loved my family. I concentrated on them, because they were my life. Years passed, and things have gotten progressively worse. I’ve always had depression looming over me, but never this dark. I’ve always had anxiety, but never this painful. I’ve always been afraid of the outside world, but never this bad. Now, I am looking up ways to kill myself. And I have no where to turn.
I am a 21 year old with nothing going for her. If you knew […]
She creeps up like a spider, and wants you deep inside her, She turns you into stone, A twisted little show….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
Sorry for the explicit title…..
but that basically sums it up, last year i got into ‘Sexting’ which is gross, i know. i was pressured into by a guy who i thought was a friend, and after a while i started to fall for him, i loved it when he messaged me first and we once even stayed up until five in the morning….That changed amazingly quickly, one day we were doing our thing and the next he got a girlfriend. That hurt.
It fucked me up.a lot. i kinda feel that those past events helped me to become the person i am today.
I feel so dirty and […]
I just sat down for the last several hours and wrote a note or a “Suicide note” to everyone I will be leaving and it made me feel good inside. And brought me just a little closer to going through with it. Again I’m not a big church guy but Im planning on going to mass and penance this weekend too, for what its worth. In my note I don’t blame anyone, I just wanted them to know I love them and ensure them my end is not their fault. I also don’t want a funeral, I want to be cremated, spread at […]
My mother left my father when I was 2 years old. He was an alcoholic and used to be a little violent against my mother.
I’m turning 24 this year.
My father has changed. He doesn’t have a problem with the alcohol now, he drinks, but not every day. He is well now.
He always send me gifts. Birthdays and christmas. This christmas he called me. He’s done it before. We talk, and I love it. Everytime he calls, after we hung up I cry for hours. I so badly want to have a relationship with him, but I’m a coward. I live in another town, so […]
Here i am, 2 and a half months after i fell back into a deep depression. I am young, tired and now ready to pass on to the certain nothingness. I am to talk with the love of my life in a few hours. The very last time I believe I will hear her pulchritudinous voice… I am a young male with OCD, It had lead to a deep depression several years prior. How you may ask, one word, certainty. I am absolutely absessed with certainty, while nothing in life is certain except death. I can only feel comfort when i am certain, my 2 year relationship […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=I_BdAk7H6Lk
Not everyone can do this but i do admire him …. a lot! The fact his father didn”t pay attention to his own kids need & help, and that is not great parenting. I do like his older sister. And the kid makes A LOT of sense ie he is picked on because he doesnt resist.
Bullies ‘think’ they are tough but are they? They pick on people weaker or those that dont resist? Strong people face strong people not weak people?
Well done Casey … i “like” underdogs …
http://www.thebridgemaker.com/how-to-stop-a-bully/ ~ other helpful links ….
As you may have noticed, I write a lot. I came across this website in an effort to find some research for a very large essay I’m writing. Needless to say, your stories and poems moved me to tears. I know where most of you are coming from and I too often contemplated suicide. But I made the decision to share the times in my life when I believed I couldn’t move on. That is why these stories are here. My hope is that someone will be able to read my story, relate to it and realize they’ re not alone. You can do this, […]
1. What is your job?
or what do you study?
2. Do you like it? or hate it? or fucking hate it, but have little to no choice?
3. And is you’re feeling suicidal also related with your job/working life?
perhaps feeling meaningless, and hate life?
4. Last but not least, why don’t you pursue your dreams, or your dream-job, or what makes you happy?
What makes you hesitate?
thanks.