It has been two years today since I lost my best friend and love of my life Zach to suicide. I was the last to talk to him but I was so busy I couldn’t really talk. His mom texted me the next day telling me his little sister found him and it was my fault since I was the last to talk to him and I would burn in hell with him. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. There is not much left for me anymore. I do not know what to do. I do not think I can […]
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Love Of My Life
It’s been so long since I’ve written. So glad to be back with my family. Have you ever just sought comfort from a stranger? I know I have.
A lot had happened.
Me and Brice (love of my life) went out…once again. He ended up not talking to me for 2 whole weeks. Then he said he never wanted to talk to me again. I once again wrote my suicide letter, thinking I had nothing more to live for. I think it was the 6th time. But anyways he eventually ended up talking to me again. We still talk. Everything is not solved and I’ve promised so […]
Well, There was a boy and a girl, they’ve met once before about 6 years ago now, I believe, anyway they had lost contacted until last year when their friends had  told them about each other. Now, they started talking , and talking they both knew what they have been through and they both knew how they felt, if one was not happy the other one wasn’t well it toke a few months until they started dating, but when they dated, man were they cute, they did have there ups and downs but they go through it, until he had to move, his dad had died and his grandparents so he had to move somewhere far, they didn’t see each […]
The thoughts are becoming fiercer, more vigorous, more overpowering.
It’s been four months since I started my therapy, yet I feel no change. Each month since I was diagnosed, I told myself that I had finally hit rockbottom. Each month I told myself that now there was no way other than up. Each month. March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.
I was wrong each time. It was never rockbottom. Every time I promised myself to try and get better and to make a true effort, something happened. Whether it was my mom driving me up against the wall with her hand around my […]
Hello All,
I am in a terrible place that I don’t feel that I will ever get out of. Â I was on top of the world. Â Had a very good job, good car, just moved in with the love of my life, new pets, just bought the house of my dreams.
I lost it with one illegal mistake that I made. Â I ended up spending several months in jail, I lost my reputation, the girl that I knew would be there for me no matter what will no longer have anything to do with me. Â I have lost my job, and CANNOT find work no matter what. […]
THis is my story as I have seen it and why I did what I did. I was married to the love of my life and to this day wondered how and why I found a beautiful woman like her to fall in love with a loser like me. To this day I i still don’t know. Well years went on and we had 3 beautiful talented children. Somewhere our lines got crossed and we stopped having a relationship outside of our children. I know I am at fault for the problems with our marriage. My wife asked for a divorce, at which she tells […]
for the first time in 18 months I saw the love of my life in action-via video. It was filmed just months before I met him. he was so happy, smiling and laughing. i recalled that smile, remembered that laugh. felt that feeling he gave me. we just lied in bed all day holding each other. but underneath we felt the same thing. we walked in on me once as I was vomiting up a large amount of pills. my liver will never be the same. I watched his eyes fade over the months as he sunk deeper into PF. I followed him down the […]
Is it bad to say that you would rather be dead than to be without the love of your life your whole life?
I don’t think I’m going to be with the love of my life forever I just can’t handle thinking that cause I love her with all my heart
The love of my life lives in Kansas….I live in North Carolina. We have been off and on for almost a year now. We got back together about 2 months ago then he broke up with me. I fell back into cutting and pills. He swore he didn’t like anyone else, it was just the distance. He asked out my best friend 2 days after he told me that. I want to fucking hate him so much….but I can’t. He doesn’t know I know. I promised him I wouldn’t cut or get high…..yet my arm is filled with new scars and my pill bottles are […]
I haven’t been on here in such a long time and from reading my last post I can see that I was in a very dark place. I am not fully recovered and I still have relapses from time to time, but I found that when you actually let people in to help and you give life a chance that things can change. Since me last post I have found the love of my life, moved out on my own, got engaged, and let my family back into my life. Without my family, friends and my medication I wouldn’t be on here talking to you. I […]
The term, “I cant live without you” is really sticking with me. I’m and 18 year old female. I’m in love with another female. We’ve been dating over a year now. I’m never been in love like this. I even dated someone over 2 years .. still never felt this way. She is truely the love of my life. I dont even think of us as being in a ‘relationship’ .. I think .. thought of us as ONE. My soul is tied to hers. I feel so empty now .. now that she’s gone. I need to be close to her. I need to […]
I can’t do this anymore. I just…..can’t.
I met the love of my life close to 5 years ago. Huge age difference….she just turned 18. At first I knew it wouldn’t work, but then out of nowhere I got her pregnant. So…we both decided that it was best to go forward and see how things went. I moved her up here from Florida and we settled in. Our daughter was born just over a year after we had gotten together. Things were……terrific. We were told by so many people that we were the perfect couple. We couldn’t get over each other. We had to be around […]
I was happy. I was fine with life. Couldn’t you have let me stay that way? For just a while?
by Anonymous13
written by Anonymous13
Happiness. It was in my reach, merely a week ago. I used to dislike living. I used to complain and moan about things of no significance. I was unhappy, but without a real reason to be. And I knew that. I knew that my unhappiness was uncalled for and most of all: selfish. There were people out there going through real pain, people who had actual reasons to feel this way. So I pulled it together and started focusing on all the positive things in life. My friends, my somewhat dysfunctional family whom I still loved and cared for, my somewhat normal life. I started […]
i am 22. i am a new mother. i live to try and make the love of my life happy.
not too long ago, i chose to have a child with this man not only because i love him, but i knew he could be the wonderful husband, father and companion i have always dreamed of. we had a son almost a year ago, and they are my entire world.
i have always understood that we were completely different people but knew we could make a great life for our son and ourselves. after the baby arrived, the ex girlfriend came back into the picture. little did […]
I’m haunted by a picture of the love of my life sitting side by side with her new boyfriend on the beach that I saw on facebook.
Actually the picture is on his facebook, I can’t even see hers because she blocked me. It’s just a picture of feet. Side by side.
I only know they’re her feet because that’s how well I know her, even a year after we last spoke.
I wish her feet were next to mine again…Instead I’m haunted by a picture, just one more reason to not want to be alive anymore.
I hate my life… I’m currently 29 years old with no job, no money, no spouse of any kind, no career, no car, failed college, no friends, no hopes, dreams and goals for my life. I’m so sad. I live with my mom because I have no where else to go. The love of my life, we weren’t official but it felt real for 3 years, left me for one of my friends in July, 2011. I got fired from my old job in November 2011 and ever since then I cant seem to get a job thats willing to hire me. I been so […]
When you cry im there
Tears, im here
You scare I fight your fears
Why cant you do it in return.
You say so why am I.still in your life, why am I an asshole, the making fun of name calling when your suppose to be the love of my life. The abuse hits for every word but I stick around cuz you are my world.
Stop
Dont do it
Im here
FOREVER, iloveyou
Words you say when im on the edge but do you mean it or is it cuz you dont wanna be left alone, maybe you just dont wanna witness the dealth […]
How do you heal from a broken heart?
Most people would say time but it has been 22 years and the pain is still raw.
Knowing what you have to do and doing it is 2 very different things.
I know I’m the only one who can allow myself to heal but don’t seem to know how to do it.
I know looking at the past I miss out on the now and the future.
I know remembering what I haven’t got or miss instead of looking at what I do have robs me of happiness.
Yet I seem unable to let go of my […]
i feel empty. exhausted. so deeply sad.. & mad that nobody i know has the time to care.. despite having felt similar before & me having been there for them.
it is very fucked up.
i still miss the love of my life after 6 years.
but if i did die tomorrow.. i would feel that i had loved & been loved.
now i have ocd/anxiety/depression/phobias/ & what feels like a million more things wrong & a situation that has completely trapped me. i want to scream. i often do.
every time things get a little better.. somehow something else goes wrong & i am […]
The metal album by Panzerchrist, titled “Room Service” is quite nice.
http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/panzerchrist/roomservice.html
Just check out those lyrics. My favourites are:
“I know what you’re all thinking
You are holding on just trying to be cool
But know that come tomorrow
All your worries will be gone”
“And the love of my life
Can’t save me
Because
I have to save myself first”
“I
Choose
To
Make
A Stand
But to be a martyr – first you have to die”
“Kept inside
Where to turn?
Bottled up
When to burn?
Eating away
Filled with hate
No more cheeks to turn”
““Hey Waitâ€
You say
“That looks like bloodâ€
But no! It’s the pain […]