Just when i needed people the most, they all just stepped back.. at the same time nonetheless. I can’t fix this, and it really feels like everyone just expects me to snap out of it. My kids are keeping here, but the torture and torment inside my head has become almost constant. It would be very easy to just give in to the thoughts but i can’t help but fight it and that’s what makes it worse. If i let the paranoia take over, I just wouldn’t allow anyone around me. but there’s this part of me that yearns for understanding. Someone who will try […]
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So I found something of mines from about a year or two ago and I decided to put it up on here. Everyone puts up the troubles they’ve been through and I’d like to share what I’ve written back then and maybe when later on, if I make it through with life, I could look back to my posts. Anyways, this was made around 2010 or ’11. This was for my friend, who was also facing depression like me and we both promised we wouldn’t do anything horrible to each other. I felt like I failed her and that she wouldn’t ever forgive me, surprisingly […]
Hi.
Im Taegan.
Im a selfharmer. I really need help.
I dont know why god hasnt taken me yet, I have survided 2 diabetic coma’s , 3 three overdose’s and about 6 or 7 hospital visits from cutting my wrist in just about that right spot.
I have been called just about ever name in the book. I think I speak for everyone when I say this bullying needs to stop. I dont know why I am so suicidal. I shouldnt let this get to me. We shouldnt let this get to us. Whether youre gay,Bisexual,Lesbian .. or whatever you are. We are ALL human.<3 […]
I just can’t do this anymore. I’ve been depressed every single day since we broke up. It’s been two months now, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her and regret everything I did wrong. I’m in love with her, and there’s nothing I can do about it. She is always on my mind, and I just can’t live this way. I wish things were different, I wish we never broke up, but we did, and it was all my fault. I really don’t want to wake up tomorrow. It just hurts too much. I love her with all my heart.
My boyfriend is threatening to leave me if I don’t do something to make it up to him by midday. Fuck I’m so stupid I can’t think of anything. I rather die.
im not gonna say that my feelings for life doesn’t change every now and then. that would be a lie. i have good days and bad days like everyone else. and this lady’s and gentlemen is a really bad day.
no its not a bad day as in: someone f**** me over or i’ve been stabbed with a knife or my boss hates me or anything like that. its just the god damn feeling of being alive. people say its a lovely feeling. i think its gross and uncomfortable. and just FYI. don’t try and say that you know how to fix this or. just give […]
Hi My name is Nikki… I am 15 years old and I have been cutting for a very long time.. I know what it is like to hurt and feel nothing but pain and misery. I have lost so many people to death and You know it is not fun.. I am not that skinny pretty girl at all. I lost a guy I was in love with to a person who felt the need to shoot and kill him. I felt the pain of loosing my best friend to a person who hit him with a car. I felt the pain to my grandmother […]
out of all fucking people, why did i have to fall inlove with my best friend?! we used to have a “thing” she used to like me. but she said she doesnt wanna lose our friendship because im her best friend. everyone i know can just tell im in love with her. and i hate admitting. i told her once when i went out of the city for a week and i told her i said that cos i missed her so much. i always look her in the eyes and say im not in love with her, but in realaty i think she is […]
i just dont see anything anymore
i had goals i had a future i had hope i had a purpose but thats the problem i fucked up and now im lost i dont know what to do i tell people what i used to see they respond that i should give up not litterally though cuz i have no nerve fuck yeah actually i do i can picture death so vividly it makes me want it more painless and free yes damn thats all i want i wanna be done im already dying externally i just need to be dying internally i want and wish […]
And that I’ll fight my corner, Maybe tonight I’ll call ya, After my blood turns into alcohol, No, I just wanna hold ya….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
So… Hi Guys :3
I know, It’s been a while. And quite a lot has happened… :/ I don’t know whether or not I have told you that my mental health has gotten worse, But hopefully going to see a doctor about that… Finally get the crazy diagnosis. :/
So, My birthday was good :0 so **** in fact that i decided not to kill myself, If I could I would. Things just got worse after that, I got into a relationship with this guy called Aarron. But in the four days D: that i was with him it made me realize how much I love my […]
I always have great imagination, i can simulate what’s going to happen in the near future
but what i see is always a dull boring life, of course i also tried challenging and less predictable activities like mountain climbing and ruins exploring, but in the end nothing happened and i went back to my boring life
I always wished i would just kick the bucket during one of my journeys, but to no avail. I have always survived and while it was a refreshing experience, the excitement won’t last even for a day, daily life is just too boring god……..
as much as i wished for a “switch […]
There was always something inside of me saying I wasn’t good enough and that he would find someone else. I had the feeling deep down when he left that when he came back he would be different and that I wouldn’t be able to change that. I knew deep down that he didn’t love me and I was never really good enough. I was right, as usual. But I wish that this was a dream and I would wake up and see it was all fake. Somebody please shoot me because I can’t do this. Shoot me through the heart and put it out of […]
Well- this is harder than initially thought.
How do you attempt to explain something you’re not sure of ?
If I were to guess at what stage triggered my feelings today, I would say childhood. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, maybe a handful of events all in all. Why this is I don’t know, repressed memories, perhaps ? Bad memory, more likely?
I am in no way saying I had a bad childhood. I know my parents loved me, although I don’t think my mother was ready for children, still don’t.Â
I am 20 years old and deeply confused. When I was around 12 […]
when i was 8, i was sexually abused. my mom was an alcoholic almost my whole life, my dad abanded me when i was so young, came back around in my life when i was 15 and choose his new family over his kids. my “best friends” put my secrets all overs facebook to use it against me when we got into a fight. we made up, but i havent fully forgaven them because i have horrible trust issues. im in love with my best friend, and we almost were together BUT of course she found someone better. my whole life ive been made fun of for […]
to die. So I’m pretty sure I’m done I am very serious but can’t become 100% certain. I can’t function around people, I have been deeply depressed for around 7 years, My motivation in life is to hurt those who hurt me nothing more and nothing less. I have no real goals or dreams in life, I have been on alot of medication, tried everything, have no reason to live and am almost sure I am incapable of love or happiness or even being content. I don’t want to live in any society and I wont do anything I don’t want to. I don’t want […]
Since i was a kid, i was taught to always treat everyone nice, be helpful, and loving. That true joy comes from making others happy, that if you are good and nice, good things will reflect back on you, that the harder things are the better chance you got to prove how strong you are in fighting against the evilness of the world, i was trying to be the super hero which will spread love and care.
Myself always came second, didnt matter, as long as i can make those who i can happy, I can stand against those who hurt me.. The pain began ever […]
If you don’t take away anything else by the time you finish reading this entry, then I hope you at least will take away this one thought that could perhaps be the greatest revelation in your life which you don’t even know about yet; and it’s this…………………………
YOU. MATTER.
Your problems matter. And someone out there does love you even when you think you’ve been rejected, hit rock bottom, and can no longer find comfort in living.
…Hey, been there. Done that. I have the scars on the inside and out to prove it….and no, I don’t care for a repeat either because as much as it lingers […]
So many times, i have wondered, what is the meaning of life?Â
Is it to be happy?
To find love?
To make a difference?
To experience new things?
Because I’m already 15 and felt like I’ve wasted a quarter of my life.Â
So much pressure is put on exceling in academics, but what’s the point? It feels as if everyday, the only purpose of life is to do well in every test in order to get a good job. It’s as if our lives are based soley on how well to do academically, and when we fail in academics, the repercussions are horrible.
The disappointment from the family…the judgement from the teachers […]
HELLO:
ALL PEOPLE IN THIS WEBSITE THAT FEEL PAIN ON THEIR SOULS I WANT TELL YOU ALLÂ THAT I AM HERE FOR CARE ABOUT YOU ALL
I AM NOT PROFESIONAL BUT I REALLY CARE ABOUT PEOPLE I HATE SEE PEOPLE SAD I WISH GOD GIVE ME POWER FOR GIVE HAPPINESS TO THE PEOPLEÂ AND ALSO I AM LITTLE CRAZY LIKE GOAT. IF YOU ALL NEED A FRIENDÂ HERE I AMÂ MY NAME IS JULIETA
EMAIL ajulieta_77@hotmail.com             LOVE FOR YOU ALL
I just read a definition for suicide calling it a cry for help. It really annoyed me, because in my opinion it’s the exact opposite. Suicide happens when we feel there is no help to be given whatsoever, suicide is when we can’t help ourselves and can’t be helped by anyone else. Suicide is deciding that we’ve had enough of this fucking world and don’t want any help staying in it. The only way suicide could possibly be a cry for help would be if it was a purposely messy and obvious attempt, or if the person told a shitload of people their plans, or […]