So like every time I put on make up I end up crying it all off. Why am I crying today well it started off ok. The house was fliped the girl I live with refuses to clean the bathroom properly but whatever. Im crying because it my fucking husband mother fucking birthday and I have barely any money to buy him somthing . but keep in mind I the spouse that makes money. He buys me somthing with my money in his pocket. Or he brought what ever it is on a credit card which I pay …won it at the casino my […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QF05EX_fnrw
Space is just a word make up by somebody who is afraid of being close.
A lot has happen these few days. A confession,breaking from friends,sexual tension,sinful nature is torturing my mind.
p.s sorry for spamming
Im so lost so broken Im trying with every fiber in my body to keep it together. but when I get myself in room alone I can’t function. I want to die soooo bad , I want it l to end . my husband seen me in ball of mess in the closet. He said “don”t worried I’ll take to get makeup later , so stop crying ” I said I dont care About the make up it sucks but whatever . I want to die i thought. Then he asked wich killed me to hear but felt numb inside. Are you unhappy with […]
I’ve been called beautiful by many people, yeah sure that’s good, um no it’s not. 90% of the people that have called me beautiful would just say that to get something out of me. They wanted to use me for nudes and shit, I thought that they really meant it, but the next thing they want is nudes. Women are not sex toys, and neither are men. People need to stop using other people, for something that they want. If someone wants something then just say it don’t make up so many lies to cover up for something that’s wrong. Don’t give someone compliments that […]
12 hours left.
I managed to shower and get ready for my test. I put make up on. I did my hair. Im wearing normal clothes. This is a big accomplishment for me today. For everyone reading and replying, thank you. Im sorry that I will be posting a lot. Like I said. Im a book. This is my final chapter. And I want it to be rememberable.
I made a death cocktail so strong (if crushing a total amount of 525 pills into strawberry juice counts strong – most bitter juice that I have ever drunk) that I blacked out when I was done with the half of it. It was on Saturday night on the 13th of February. My mom woke me up on Monday and insisted me to go to a mental hospital, and I did. I was in a ward which had cameras in every corner, every room. We were allowed to smoke only 3 times a day, and this was the worst for me. I fucking love smoking, […]
I made friends with this amazing guy 2 years ago, I can’t even understand how or why?! I am such a crappy person sometimes and he accepts me. When I say he accepts me I mean in every single way you can think of. He has seen me with no make up hair a mess, clothes a mess. He has put up with me even when I lash out at him because I’m angry. He’s seen all sides of me and still stays in my life, I’ve called him crying and he listens to me and gives me advice. Granted we had a set back […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Im sorry fellows, i dont give a crap about new year or what ever people make up to celebrate, tomorrow is just another day. And yes every new day is the best day to start over.
I never did, i just used to take advantage (of the celebration ) to be with the person that i loved.
But now i really dont care.
But if i could wish something i could choose to get my heart stunned, so stunned that i wouldnt even bother try to talk or meet new friends, girls.. After all i lost all i wanted to be.
It is always an effort, and it feels […]
Even though I’m not suicidal (actively seeking a way out or planning anything) I’d be more than happy to choose a peaceful exit from this world. I don’t get our societies sick and twisted obsession with forcing everyone to stay alive against there will. I was put in a psyche ward over a month ago, and yes it did “help”, but it was only temporary. They get payed to force me to live, my family wants to keep me alive for there own selfish purposes. Like I said many times, I didn’t choose to be born nor have I chose the cards I was dealt […]
When my family tells me to stand up for myself and when I do they tell me that I’m not choosing the right path. I swear these people can’t make up their mind. It’s my life and my choices. I am the one who has to live with them. I’m 18 years old and in college for heaven sakes -_- . I can make my own choices and do what the hell I feel like. Jesus. I’m so ready to get out of this fucking house. They think I won’t leave. Smh. The stress I’m in I’ll pack my shit and leave tonight..
I don’t […]
The most astounding fact is the knowledge that the atoms that comprise life on Earth, the atoms that make up the human body are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures. These stars, the high mass ones among them went unstable in their later years, they collapsed and then exploded, scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy, guts made of carbon, ********, oxygen and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself. These ingredients become part of gas clouds that condense, collapse, form the next generation of solar systems, stars with orbiting planets, and […]
You know that old saying “don’t surround yourself with shitty people”
I feel bad for being in someone else’s company. I feel sorry for them as they have to put up with my presence. I don’t say much, but then try to make up for it and say too much. I go on about shit and cringe in my mind, asking myself “why the fuck did you just say that just shut the fuck up”
But then I hate being left alone with my own mind. Shits pretty scary and fucked up in there.
The truth is, I don’t want to surround people with myself, because I’m a really shitty […]
By the time you read this again, we may or may not have been together. Somehow I feel like writing this letter to you. We have been through many things. I know you have cried a lot, lost many things, screamed a lot, and died many times. But I need you to know that you are my reason to hold on. You are my greatest treasure and everyday I pray that you will be safe, alive, and healthy. God knows how I have begged him to not let you feel alone, to give me the strength to make up to you what you have lost. […]
Hi, I live in Asia and currently a 23 years old male
I feel that my entire life is in constant loops of suffering. I do not have a normal family, and I am an illegitimate child. Yet, i always do not let my identity define myself. Apart fron that, i was always bullied in school, with people constantly calling me names. Because of that, I had a very low self esteem and always tried to avoid people. I did not participate in any activities, and always went home straight if there was no make up classes. I had a really bad 5 years in my […]
I want to be strong for my husband and my kids, but I don’t know how I can go on much longer. I have been sick for 2 years now, and no one knows what’s wrong with me. I’ve been in pain every day, and it’s making me a worse and worse person. When my husband and I first met he was so in love with me, and now he can’t stand me. He tells me that it’s not my fault and he loves me, but I can tell that he doesn’t. I’m just a burden to him. He won’t admit it but I can […]
Well, it’s been about two weeks. As with most things in life, I failed to remove myself from it. A week in the hospital and the doctors are still calling it an accidental overdose. I think that they are in denial. How could “someone with so much to live for and so much going on possibly want to kill themselves. It doesn’t add up.” At least, that’s what they’ve been telling themselves. I can go home tomorrow. My kidney’s are recovering though I’ll be on alert the rest of my life, however long or short that is, to make up for the damage caused by […]
I fought when you couldn’t,
I stood tall when you wouldn’t,
I worked my fucking ass off just to get nowhere and I shouldn’t.
You had me rapped around your fucking finger,
The days I’d see you id just fucking linger.
The walls around me yeah they start to quiver,
Now I’m stuck here thinking did I deliver?
Well I ‘m not being made a Fucking fool,
Quit trying hard and acting like a major tool.
What you think you can just walk in and make up all the rules?
Fuck your shit off cause you’re not that cool.
How does one find hope when having a terminal disease? How can one withstand all the pain it causes while knowing it’ll never end – only gradually evolves, gets worse and finally eats you alive? Is hope even a slightest of possibility?
Expecting a miracle perhaps gives something to keep one’s head up. But preferably person just has to accept the facts; this really was perhaps my unjustified destiny and the clock is ticking ever faster like it has for so many people before me. Fear, tears, a mountain of hopelessness and beside me a conjurer of never-ending agony and despair.
Where do those people […]
I’m 24 years old Ive had suicidal thoughts since I was 12. Ive tried to kill myself 3 times, but only the third time sent me to the hospital. in the first time I took a lot of sleeping pills and I only slept for over 24 hrs. in the second time I took a whole bottle of pain killers like Tylenol, I threw up nonstop for 6 to 7 hrs. there are periods of time when my suicidal thoughts seem to be gone, but they always come back. I’ve been contemplating suicide a lot lately and I’m just afraid I will fail like the […]
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