Tag:

maybe

Poll: how much of your existence has been happy and when was the last time you was happy?

by wndozh8er 7/25/2015

written by wndozh8er

of my 31 years on this earth, I had brief moments of happiness as a small child but never lasted due to my chaotic family situation. Maybe an average of just alittle under a month a year. After that – May 1995, July 1995, March-May 1998, March-May 1999, April-October 2002, September-December 2006 and November-December 2011. I’m not even sure if I was truly happy than ether because my life has been so miserable I can’t tell the difference sometimes. Those dates I pointed out were more or less when my life was not a living hell.

how about yall?

7/25/2015 12 comments

Social Anxiety

by MentallyWeak 7/23/2015

written by MentallyWeak

Does anyone else feel like even the people you are closest to hate you the most? I feel like everyone secretly hates me and wouldn’t at all mind if I were to kill myself. Like it would be good for all of us. One less annoying person to deal with, one less person to waste your breath and opinions on. One less person to look down on. My suffering will end, it will end soon enough and everyone would be at their happiest. I just don’t think I will be able to find a purpose. It’s impossible.

Maybe life, isn’t for everyone.

7/23/2015 9 comments

grawr

by darkwillow 7/22/2015

written by darkwillow

I’m sick of people.. And no one likes me. I’m tired of always trying to fit in. People come and go, does anyone really actually stay? And if they do stay, it’s only little interaction, just little thoughts like “i haven’t talked to this person in a while, I guess I’ll see how they’re doing.” And so you talk for maybe 4 messages back and forth and then they leave again. And you sit there optimistically like “oh okay, talk later then”… That hardest part is accepting that, they’re much more apart of your life than you are to theirs.

Imma go pound on my keyboard now. Have […]

7/22/2015 2 comments

Hurts

by thehusk 7/22/2015

written by thehusk

Round and round it all goes in my head. I don’t think I can live a meaningful life. And that hurts. So I think I want to end it. But that would destroy my family, and I can’t do that to them. So I’m left with this pain. Which just feels……unbearable. And I can’t think of anything that will make it stop. I would cry, but it doesn’t help.

So, this pain, for the rest of my life. It seems to get worse as I get older, and further away from a time when I had hope.

I guess the only question is how I want to […]

7/22/2015 1 comment

Therapy

by thegirlwiththecinderblockgarden 7/21/2015

written by thegirlwiththecinderblockgarden

So, I was thinking about telling my mum that I want to start going to therapy. But I have no clue whether seeing a therapist would help me at all.
I feel I have quite a few issues, and I’d like to talk to someone who knows what they’re doing, and maybe get a possible diagnosis for something, so I know I’m not crazy.
I’d like to be able to discuss the fact that I’m not happy with the way I look and feel, and how this has an effect on everyday things. Most days, I don’t want to go outside because people will see […]

7/21/2015 10 comments

Mind control

by junoJm 7/20/2015

written by junoJm

i’ve thought about suicide since high school. Having dark thoughts, being depressed easily. I’ve experienced being broke and worked my way up again. But still, suicidal thoughts linger on my mind. Maybe im just weak. I’ve attempted twice but failed. I just need to be strong. I know i can do this. No one can help me. Its the only way out.

7/20/2015 1 comment

hiraeth

by Katki 7/20/2015

written by Katki

(n) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.

Welsh word, and describes exactly how I feel

7/20/2015 2 comments

Can’t breathe

by Out of Phase 7/19/2015

written by Out of Phase

I find myself not being able to catch my breath. Like a stranger just comes out with a punch to the gut. I am just moving along in this life trying to cope and maybe fool myself into thinking that I am putting one over on the rest of them. The them that seem to have it all together. The them that are capable of connection.

Then there is something, maybe something I see, I smell, I read, I dream or watch in a movie that just knocks the wind out of me. Maybe these little events show me a glimse of what could be if […]

7/19/2015 0 comment

My life is a Hell

by NoBuddy 7/19/2015

written by NoBuddy

I feel I can’t take this anymore. I failed exams, relationship, health, social life and bla bla bla. I feel miserable. I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m hopeless,pointless. 🙁 These days I’m at my lowest point. Helpless. Maybe suicide is the only answer. Thanks for reading.

7/19/2015 3 comments

a

by Rotted_Flesh 7/17/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

nothing

7/17/2015 0 comment

Well…

by Rotted_Flesh 7/15/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

there I was on the beach, it was around 5:30 AM, I had been drinking, reflecting on my life and experiences, getting ready to do the deed (my shotgun was hidden in a tennis racket bag) when all of a sudden this man come’s walking on by (looked to be in his mid-thirties). I was very surprised because It was still pretty dark outside and pretty dead out with no people but we both make eye contact and say ‘Hey’. I think it’s going to end there but it doesn’t, he asks me what I’m doing all alone on the beach, and I replied with […]

7/15/2015 8 comments

we live alone we die alone

by unheard1 7/14/2015

written by unheard1

I’ve read a lot of posts on here and it seems we all feel similarly which hurts. I feel for all of you. Its like were all stuck in a dark room with our depression and we can’t see anyway out but if we turn the lights on were not alone, we’re all here with the same issue, suicide. I can’t seem to get passed it and today was one of those days where I feel even more convinced that I should killl myself. I’ve changed from the person I was before but it doesn’t matter, I now know no matter how much good I […]

7/14/2015 7 comments

Just came here to vent

by nut 7/13/2015

written by nut

Hey.

I know that everyone is here for a reason and whatever cliche shit we’ve been listening to forever.

Right now, my life has no purpose. I don’t even know why I opened this site. But whatever. It has always been hard for me to find people to talk to. My parents are kinda supportive, but if you know anything about being Indian it is that your parents exercise complete and absolute control on your life. My parents don’t let me outside the house, except for school. Not even tutions, parties, nothing. Indians are conservative and rather, well, religious. But on days like these I find myself […]

7/13/2015 5 comments

The Point of No Return…

by Dm 7/13/2015

written by Dm

I’ve been thinking seriously about suicide for the past three months… seriously being, thinking of ways to kill myself, with finality, I’ve been considering suicide for the past… two years? Nothing has really changed, but there seems to be a general discontent with my being alive, from my family. I’ve attempted suicide, several times… I took a key from my key ring, and sawed through my wrist, for over an hour… in several spots… this was my first real attempt, and the pain pretty much set me off… for two years, this attempt, is when I started looking at suicide as an answer… as salvation. […]

7/13/2015 1 comment

.

by sadsadist 7/13/2015

written by sadsadist

Look at yourself and write down the truth. What more fatal complex subject could you find? It’s hard to face. Or maybe you’re afraid of yourself

I am

7/13/2015 4 comments

im about to

by itsjustme33 7/5/2015

written by itsjustme33

I’m about to kill myself. I have a loaded rifle next to me and drinking. I’m kinda scared of the pain and if I don’t succeed. But at the same time I wanna go to a better place. Maybe if I drink more it will take away the fear

7/5/2015 10 comments

Independence Day for me too

by jgulati 7/5/2015

written by jgulati

Every thump of each fireworks sounds like a million bullets in my head because I know she’s somewhere looking up smiling with him giving him the same look she gave me once. I want these lights to stop so I can finally fall asleep. I wish there was something I can take that didn’t make me selfish. I’m so alone so alone in this wretched mind. It’s normal now the pain.it feels normal now. The constant anxiety the constant panic it all seems so..welcoming. I’m dead to her today. I’m dead to everyone. I’m waiting to see how long until my courage builds up enough […]

7/5/2015 1 comment

first dissociative experience

by stormfall 7/4/2015

written by stormfall

Was nice felt so light physically and mentally. A nice break. But be warned… had i a gun nearby i wouldnt be here i dont think. I conceptualized and pictured that and there was no hesitation mentally. Almost a feeling like it wouldnt be quite real or i could try it and then undo it. Hard to explain not a bad experience but maybe a bit dangerous.

7/4/2015 1 comment

I feel trapped

by AfflictedSmile 7/4/2015

written by AfflictedSmile

Today is my birthday. Instead of feelings of joy, happiness, excitement for what this day is besides my birthday, I feel empty. I no longer know how to run my life. If I ever knew. I feel trapped in it. Trapped in who I am, what I am, where I am in this existence. I do not know how life works. I see everyone around me with all the things I wish I could have. It seems tangible, but so very far from my grasp. Supportive family, friends, significant others and love in their life.

No matter how hard I strive for things most people have. […]

7/4/2015 7 comments

I don’t want to die alone, but I keep choosing to walk down that road.

by ThatguySweden 7/4/2015

written by ThatguySweden

Hey

To be honest I don’t even know what I’m doing here or why. I think I just need to vent and maybe, just maybe, be “understood”. I don’t mean to sound like a childish teenager who no one understands and no one ever would, I just don’t know how else to phrase it.

I used to be really depressed, for 3 years actually, although that is mostly blown over now. Some things though never seem to go away, how I act and behave is still highly influenced by those defining 3 years leading up to my late teens. I get annoyed by people, and push people away, […]

7/4/2015 10 comments

Newer Posts

Older Posts