wanting to be alone and not saved…
Saved from what? ourselves?
Are we the ones that caused this?
do you think i wanted this?
we all get judged for the cuts on our wrists
the scares that remain after the bleeding and pain…
why do you think we’d do this to ourselves?
just because we want attention?
cause we’re weird?
has it ever crossed your mind that maybe there’s a reason behind these scares?
well maybe it should…
maybe you should think about it before you judge …
before you look down on the girl that always wears long sleeves …
before you turn your […]
Tag:
maybe
I’m off with the world, things have gotten so much worse in a couple of days; my remedy – the last working medicine gives me no avail anymore. Chest pains and the difficulty to breathe is too much. Have to get to my car and end it in a matter of days.
Why does this unjustified destiny come across for someone who has no reasonable desire to kill himself otherwise than that of the irreversible condition – and a deadly one of course. This will be hard on my family, but I’ve ruined almost every relationship beforehand already – love and hate for all, I believe […]
Well the honest reason is that I suddenly realised that I’m sick of trying. I’m sick of it all. I go to sleep at night telling myself that it’s almost over, just be strong for a little while longer take it one day at a time. But I can’t do it. I feel like I spend every second trying to just hold on. Trying not to break. I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I just want it to be over. Is that really so bad? I’m tired and I need it to be over. I don’t have anything left in me. It’s […]
I don’t want to die. I really don’t. Except everyday I go to sleep I wish this is the end. I wish I wouldn’t wake up. And every time I wake up I’m disappointed I did. And then I feel horrible about wanting to die when there are so many people who would give anything to live. So maybe I do want to die, but I just don’t want to kill myself. It’s why I had to stop the cutting, if I kept at it I would have killed myself.
There is a pit in my stomach and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I […]
My anxious is peeking and for the stupidest of reasons. I just want to go home, get in bed and sleep the next week away. There is a pretty high probability I am going to run into an ex next week. Ideally, I don’t want to run into her, nor have her know I’m in the building, but life likes to throw these tests at us.
Even though I am going to do everything in my power to avoid meeting face to face, I just can’t stop planning out how such a potential interaction will go. Why do I keep planning and analyzing a future situation […]
ive been in care from a year old. throughout my childhood it was a never ending stream of social workers, supervised access visits and confusion.my foster parents threw me out when I was 12 as apparently they couldn’t cope with me – I was swearing, smoking a little and being generally grim (normal teenager but whatever) from there was the downfall, or maybe that started when I was born who knows. I lived with 2 other fosters carers after that (1 of which sexually abused me) and I left care when I was 15 to get away from all the nightmares.from then my real mum […]
i see everybody moving on, everyone whos left me. everyone who was important to me. and i have moved on too maybe physically but not mentally. i still long for those people for the talk for the closeness for the laughs for being in their presence. Some im glad have moved on the ones who were negative mean nasty but it seems as though they are happy…  then why cant i be happy. fully completely. there always seems to be something. And although  seeing the people i once considered friends, lovers, family happy should make me happy as well there is a twinge of sadness […]
I just started this thing tonight. I needed a place away from everyone else. A place I could hopefully make someone understand but at the same time I hope no one does ya know? People shouldn’t have to understand what this feeling is. It nags at me constantly. Maybe I’m different from everyone else on here and maybe not. I dunno. Don’t care either. I wanted to kill myself when I was 30. That was a year ago but my roommate’s dad died a week before and with my horrible sense of obligation I tried to stay and help. But now? Now I’m feeling that […]
I’m waiting and…
it’s summer but … I say this and I’m not sure if anyone care but maybe you can suggest me sth to do .
I’m waiting for someone and if she call me oh…I cannot even imagine but I’ll be the most happy human in the world now I am just praying and…
I’m sure God will help us and…
oh I am toooo excited sorry!
This is my first post on this website. I found it while searching how to successfully make a belt into a noose, just so I would always be prepared. It’s exam study week for my university right now, I’m studying science and so far I’ve done fairly well, but my mind is blank this week. I have been considering not attending my exams, I’m not sure why I’m even at university… It’s not like there’s any purpose to it all anyway. I’ve been thinking about staying home and drinking until I have the courage to end it all instead, there’s just no purpose. I asked […]
No one has the big picture in mind. It’s sad. Everyone is preoccupied with their little pointless material things and pointless humdrum routines to really look at what happens after everything is gone. What will you have left? Where will you go?
I guess I’m still pretty mad over what someone said to me. Someone I never expected to say such a thing. That if I end it, he won’t go to my funeral because he can’t glorify someone who does that to themselves. I never once asked for glory or sympathy. Only for an understanding ear. Maybe to be talked out of what I want […]
Tentacool. Tentacruel, was the giant. Sent to take out.
A leech of life, and harborer of filth and poison.
The overlords, of the Atlantis. Come, to save you from Armageddon.
We shall come back, in the next thousand years.
I am here to fight. The world. Lost. Take me to the end.
The doorway. Lord, I don’t think I can make it.
The roadway, or the flyway. Pray, for the last day.
Back to affinity. Life. Today, away from tomorrow.
Tonight, I will grow another hundred years.
Forever. And ever. Will you be the one.
The totem. You are the mystic one.
The world is a dying […]
I know the difference between what is wrong and what is right. I know what I probably should do and what I choose to still do. I am AFRAID absolutely terrified because there is no real hope this time around. Why can’t anyone hear me or even see that I’m just scared?! I know the mistakes I’m making I know how my current decisions are hurting me. But i’m scared to be happy i’m scared to enjoy life, so scared that I’d rather just die now to avoid it. I don’t want to have a friend that I connect with and have the most awesome […]
What did I do that was so bad to deserve this? Why do I have to feel miserable my whole life I can’t ever have any happiness. As soon as I thought I found Somone that really made me forget about all my problems. “Snap” it’s gone I’m accepting that fact that iv lived alone my show life so I’m going to die alone. That’s fine but I wish I can just die why do I have to go though hell my whole life and kill my self why can’t got just kill me already. Their is no plan for me things aren’t going to […]
Every decision that I have made each mistake and failure in my life is floating around inside my head. The fact that i’m emotionally disconnected because I’m terrified of feeling anymore more pain. I don’t want anyone not even my ex and deep down I think I still love him. I still talk to him I still see him and I’m sure that’s a big mistake on my part. But I can’t let go maybe it’s because I’m afraid, maybe I like remembering the good. Its unhealthy I know that, but I seriously think that there is something wrong with me mentally. Is it wrong […]
I’m sure some people are tempted to view this site as a bunch of whiners talking about suicide but never doing anything. Or as my own idiot therapist said: “Why talk about it? If you’re going to do it, then do it.”
But the truth is that many SP users have actually gone ahead and done it. They post here as a last stop before the unknown, and then they cross over. So no, we’re not just a bunch of lookie-lous.
I was wondering if anyone had been keeping a list of confirmed, or very likely, suicides of SP users. Maybe it would be nice to have […]
2 Tuesdays ago I accidently bet 33 black and won. I was playing bitcoin roulette. I thought I was betting odd. It won a near max bet and I won 1500 worth. I proceeded to gamble that into 10,000 dollars over the last weeks. I have won about 17,000 dollars profit worth of bitcoin this year. I was able to pay many debts. My girlfriend told me I’m a part of her. It means the world to me. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I’m basically broke. I was in all kinds of debt. Now I’m just broke. I wish I […]
where may I go to go transform. into the golden metallical.
what nebulous smite can our hell bring.
how do we escape at the level zero. but then it’s just me.
karma here does not exist in my land. battalion of true hell.
or go fuck yourselves.
there is only one path. I understand.
I am, that I am. i have no heart. cut.
see with your eye, my hell.
the dragon. the boar. the dog. the monkey.
all dead.
i must escape ground zero.
take me. direct me. then leave me.
guiding star. that could be a plan.
then hopefully maybe if, in our other saging […]
Hi.. I’m a 24 year old female living in Canada & I’m starting to get scared that I will do something drastic and irreversible. I have gone through periods of depression on and off since I can remember. At first it wasn’t bad.. just low periods that last a few hours. Now it lasts weeks and the good periods in between (in which I am uncharacteristically social and productive) are getting shorter.
A bit of background on me is that I grew up in a very diverse, mixed-up family. I have 5 siblings and all are half-siblings. I am the oldest. I’ve had to choose between […]
Hello all… I am going to keep my name out of this,but I’m a hoosier, i was bullied throughout school and life in general it hasn’t really changed as an adult either… My family doesn’t care about my problems… They won’t even listen to them because their worried about the drug addicts… Maybe they would help me if I started doing heroin like my brother and uncle, but I don’t want to do such things… My wife tells me I’m always a dick anymore but doesn’t want to listen to my problems she doesn’t seem to care that I’ve started sleeping on the couch since […]