I have reached the a point in my life where certain patterns have repeated themselves. These patterns once thought under control have so gone out of control that the pattern is now a real relative in my life. This pattern at first was just bad emotional output on my part, then the second time occurred and its all the same all over again the exact same way it ended the last time. The last time I lost two very dear things close to me and now I have no chance of ever seeing them again due to my own stupid decision. This time the thing […]
I’m desperate.
For excuses.
For reasons.
For encouragement.
Every night I have to convince myself not to do something drastic.
I have to look at myself in the mirror, and I have to lecture myself for so long just to tell myself not to cut, not to think terrible thoughts, not to attempt suicide, not to cry, not to do anything that harms myself.
I think I’m losing myself.
I’m not feeling as how I used to.
I can’t stay happy. I fake a smile when I’m in school.
But I don’t talk. People talk to me, and I nod as a sign that I’m listening. I’m done with talking.
I don’t know if I’m […]
i know this is going to sound really petty. Ive tried to kill myself a few times in the past, and Im thinking about trying again. and i have nothing to stop me. i used to have one best and only friend i could talk to, but she hates me now. no use bringing it up again with my parents. Im seeing a therapist and on medicine already. anyway, what im asking is who do i talk to about this, and how do i bring it up? i dont really have any other friends. sorry for wasting your time, and thanks for any advice.
The first time I tried to kill myself was on November 3rd 2012.
I was friends with this girl Tori, and then one day, for no reason I know of, she changed. She hated me. I didn’t know what I did. But that week after she changed was hell for me. She called me things, made fun of me, tripped me, hit me. And on that day, I’d had enough. When I get on the bus, I instantly regretted it. It’s like I could feel that I was going to go home and kill myself. My bus stop is the first one, right before hers. When […]
I was just going through my old pictures when I stumbled across my pictures from 2009 summer pictures. I didn’t think anything of it until I found the pictures of my friends. We spent basically the whole summer together. It made my chest hurt, just seeing my smile and all of my friends together. We haven’t really been like that since our friend Andrew killed himself.
We had our little “gang.” four girls, four guys. There was me, Kelsey, Anna, Shiney(real name), Max, Henry, Andrew, and Toby.
We were always happy and having fun. Then, when Andrew killed himself last June, it was like a piece was […]
While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.
I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.
Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.
I […]
I thought my life was perfect. Not perfect. “perfect” but perfect enough for me. My parents are annulled but it didn’t matter because I knew they both loved me. During high school I was in a great amazing place, on the honour roll, just got accepted into my first choice college and all the colleges I applied to in fact. My biggest problem then was a huge maybe relationship with my boy best friend.
That ended quickly.
And along with it high school. I was going away now to University. It was both scary and refreshing. I have had more things happen to me in the last […]
My dad told me in the car the other day that I was going to hell.
I ate at a Chinese buffet and got a fortune cookie that said, “accept yourself.” I thought if I have already, then I’m a worthless piece of shit that no one wants. I’m invisible to most, but those who see me are disgusted and try to get rid of me, one permanently. They really shouldn’t waste their time, I’ll do it myself eventually. So, they just leave. If I haven’t accepted myself, I’m sure when I do I’ll kill myself realizing I’m worse than I think.
I can’t do this for […]
Hi everyone,i’d like to share my story with you people who are by good chance going to understand it. I’m italian, i’m 20, i’m studying medicine and i’ve got pretty much everything that can be asked to life, i’ve got friends, i’ve got a path to follow, i’ve got loving parents,i’m smart and stuff.. Â i’ve got no real problem, i’ve got no big issues, i’ve got nothing, i’m just like the average guy,and i feel sorry for the many of you who actually have something to complain about,something hard, but it’s been already two years since i started asking myself what the meaning was..you know […]
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
Nature has fixed no limits on our hopes.
Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
Hope is nothing but wishful waiting.
Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
Hope is the little voice you hear whisper “maybe” when it seems the entire world is shouting “never!”
Hope is the upside of despair.
Hope is not the last to die but the dream is.
The miserable have no other medicine but only hope.
Beware how you take away hope from […]
My son committed suicide after a long time of unbearable mental and emotional anguish. Suicide seemed like a great relief in his mind. A few weeks after he died, we found out that the doctor had been giving him the wrong medicine for all that time and the medicine is known to cause extreme torment of the kind he was feeling. If he had only had his medicine changed, he would have been fine and happy and smiling. His brother had his medicine changed, and now he is happy, though I myself am a resident living in a hospital because of what my son’s death […]
it can sometimes be the best medicine to cure any mental, physical or emotional illness/problem…
but sometimes its the worst… Nightmares…
But! Sleep really can be one of the best things to do
(Not upset or anything, just putting it out there)
Goodnight!
Bestfriend almost overdosed on Tylenol PM Cold Medicine.
Her apendix failed. She had an emergency appendextimy** (cant spell)
She is okay now.
Cut again this week.. which isnt good.. but you cant see it..
Dance show tomorrow.. not prepared and dont feel like performing..
Dont feel beautiful, or stage worthy..
but whatever..
Goodnight! hopefully you all sleep better than i will!
I’ve made so many mistakes. I’m only fifteen, turning sixteen next month and I’ve done so many horrible things. I don’t like to leave my house because I’m not sure who I’ll see and what they think of me. I’ve gone to bars and gotten drunk making a fool out of myself, tried to pick up strangers and people who know me and my family, I’ve done drugs and had sex for money, and to top it all off I got pregnant and got an abortion two weeks ago. I was only six weeks along but I feel so sad whenever I think about it. […]
I got in a fight last night with my parents again. I’m a brat.. im a ***** the worst daughter in the world. I had a migrane cause my dad keeps FAILING to give me my meds on schedule and since theirs 22 of them starting and stopping them has major side affects. I fell asleep on the couch. After waking up at 11pm i stood up to fix the pillows. And my my mom snapped saying i needed to clean them and what not.
I told her i just got up to do that and that […]
My name is faith and I haven’t told anybody about my real story I’m not sure if i know it very well myself, anyways it all began when I was the happiest little girl you would have ever met. My best friend was my dog Zena she was always there to listen and she was always by my side to protect me she actually saved my life a couple of times. And then she became sick where she needed to take pills for medicine and everything was fine until one day where I knew something didnt feel right the morning of a school day but I […]
I am an 18 year old boy graduated from high school not too long ago. My first suicide attempt was after the first semester of Sophomore year. Drank half a bottle of rat poison because i was too chicken to hang myself. I never felt so alone as i did then. I was a ghost, my friends would talk to me but they didn’t care about me. They tried, but they never got me. The people who i loved the most my friends my family, it felt like i was nothing to them. Wen’t walking around everywhere with a hole in my heart wanting something […]
Yesterday my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me because he refuses to stay with me if he goes 6 hours away for college. We’ve been together for two years and he won’t listen to anything I say.
I raided his medicine cabinet and I took all of the pills I could find. I’ve been throwing up for 18 hours and can’t eat or drink anything. I’m so dehydrated. When I drink anything, I vomit. I can’t stop sleeping but I needed someone to hear me in case I pass.
My parents have never listened to me. My problems have always been written off. […]
looking around my room i realise i have so many pills. two types of naproxen, concerta, Aleve, Adivl, Tylonal, and sleeping pillings. i coud OD no problem but… i don’t. i keep thinking about it… all the time… i want to soo bad. i could take all those pills. there’s even more in the medicine cabinet and alcohol under the stove. i could take the pills, go to bed, and never wake up.
i don’t know if it’s progress that i haven’t tried ODing yet or not because i keep thinking about it… a lot.
i stopped cutting… i think. it’s only been a few days since […]
I’m not in a good mood today. It was a P.E day. We had to dance with boy partners and most of all of them i had was wanting to switch partners, meaning, i’m an unenthusiastic, worthless creep. I was depressed all day over one little thing. i’m so ridiculous. I wanted to cut myself all day, it was so painful to be me. These things, negative comments, just triggered me to want to kill myself. Anyway, i have a plan to. I don’t mean to give people ideas, but i just wanna know if it’ll work. One idea was to take an overdose of […]