i cant stop thinking about it and i need to write it before i pass out from all the nighttime cough medicine i took,in a couple months i am sapost to have a blood test to see all my blood levels are good,and iron stuff like that,but i am on meds im sapost to be taking, and i havent took them in months,is it legal for them to look at other levels and stuff in your blood without you knowing, and if even if its for something picific, do they check everything?even wen they say its for one thing?
Tag:
Medicine
I’ve been through a ton of things lately, right now I’m really depressed and I just wanna throw it out there since no one else will listen, I fucking hate where I’m at and I want to go back home I’m on the east side of the country and I belong on the west. Not gang related, just two different sides of the World and I belong on one, not in between, not on the East, but on the West. I messed up, I did drugs, I disrespected myself I disrespected the people I lived with when I lived in the West. I became manic […]
my name is matt, I live in new jersey. i started off with depression when i was 3. at that time my father began beating me i would estimate once a week, as well as my father having somewhat severe fights with my mother which often hurt me because she would be emotionally unavailable and I obviously was very distant from my father which made me feel alone. this feeling of being alone has always embodied me. i now am 19. i started off in middle school acting out and made a lot of “friends” but got myself in a lot of trouble just because […]
That’s all I been doing, is pushing people away from me. I feel is best if no one was near me. Im so negative and I feel like if their people around me, they would be negative too. I feel so empty and alone, I just want to be by myself. I’m trying to be good and not cut nor take cold medicine. Is getting so hard! I’m just an invisable person…
I worked so hard to get to where I am, despite family background and chronic illness, I somehow made it this far. I have my family and friends mostly to thank for that, along with a will power I thought would never die. My illness already put me on leave half a year and now Im back in my Phd program and it feels like everyone is against me at every turn, including my body. I’m mostly better now except for the nerve pain. I cant believe I couldn’t eat for a whole year. It baffles me that Ive been through this. It’s not easier […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to die, but I want this all to stop.
Therapy can’t help me.
Medicine can’t help me.
I fucked up everything.
I just want to talk to her, but I’m a monster not a saint.
I want help.
I am a fifteen year old girl who hates her apperance who would Love to just finally kill herself and get life over with. I am good at hiding my emotions and i am just so so so tired of going on.
i know people lifes are horribly bad but mine is no walk in the park either. My mom sees what she wants my two older sister care but do they care enough? my dad didnt even want me he wanted my second oldest sister. I have been trying to kill myself since 5th grade. this year i was baker acted twice and i […]
I had a thought on the bus today. I can’t remember all of it. But I was listening to some piano music and looking out the window, so many things went through my head. It’s not cold today, but a fresh layer of snow covers everything, it looks like its at least -30 c. I’m sick today. I didn’t want to go to school, but the medicine I had this morning worked enough. Despite staying up tell 3 am, I’m wide awake.
I don’t know why I’m depressed today but I am. I’d rather be alone or with my best friend than talk to anyone today. […]
For too long i have kept up this charade. Pretending to be happy when im not. Im probably like alot of people…for a long time, everything seemed to be going ok, and i had dreams and aspirations and a plan for my life.
But, somewhere along the way, i failed. And i dont have any resentments about it, i know most of the reason as to why i failed rests with me. Im not perfect, im sure if i worked harder, i couldve accomplished more, made something of myself. But, i didnt. I understand that, and thats not what really bothers me anyway.
For too long, my […]
I’m 15 years old. My parents are divorced and have been since i was 2. My dad cheated on my mom with my now step mom. My mom remarried when i was 14. Ever since i was about 5 and started gymnastics, my step mom didn’t like me. She never actually told me that, but she hit me over and over so i could tell. She’s hit me with her fist, a book, a chair, and a belt.She has even threatened to stab me with a knife.
My stepdad sexually abused me multiple times around age 8. The nights i stayed at my moms house and was […]
I never understood why I would one minute be unbelievably happy and the next minute be crying for no apparent reason..
It all started on a Monday after school, which is another reason life had been unbearable. No matter where I went I was the school whore..or at least the freshman whore. But back to that Monday night, my cousin who’s also my best friend was over spending the night. We were picking out clothes to wear for the next day at school. Then my mom came home, she was obviously stressed and started yelling at me. Next thing I know we’re screaming bloody murder […]
I never understood why I would one minute be unbelievably happy and the next minute be crying for no apparent reason..
It all started on a Monday after school, which is another reason life had been unbearable. No matter where I went I was the school whore..or at least the freshman whore. But back to that Monday night, my cousin who’s also my best friend was over spending the night. We were picking out clothes to wear for the next day at school. Then my mom came home, she was obviously stressed and started yelling at me. Next thing I know we’re screaming bloody murder […]
it all started in 6th grade. i was bullied, my grandpa died, and other stupid stuff. im now in 8th grade, and i have strongly considered suicide around 11 times. couldnt God give me a break?!!?!?!? im only 14!!!!!!!!!! when your heart just feels so overwhelmed that you cant bare it any longer. i put a smile on my face everyday at school. thats just not something you want people to go around knowing. i got two really close friends. i just always felt guilty, them thinking they knew me, but they didn’t at all. they thought i was always happy and bubbly. guilt built up inside […]
I’m just about finished with my plans to finally go to peaceful sleep.
The doctors, hey they don’t care, never have. Too much in a hurry to see the next dope come in with another fee for them to pay for their swimming pool.
I went to a new doctor who seemed so different, seemed caring. NOT
He told me that all the constipation, pain, spasms of intestines, vertigo, these are just an anxiety attack. Up to then I cared about his diagnosis but after I decided its time to go to that eternal sleeping peace. The place I was before […]
I was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago. I went through the chemotherepy, and i stopped responding to treatments. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I didn’t wanna go through anything like that anymore. The doctors started me out on a new experimental medication, and i was on that for 3 months. Turns out, the medicine didnt help me at all, it actually sped up the spreading of my cancer, and now, i only have like a month left.
Everything is going downhill for me, and I have nothing to live for. I want to die so bad, I hate the pain im […]
This is very hard for me to write this out, but I felt I had to just release what has been on my mind for over ten years and I happened to come across this website and here I am, took me a long time to admit that I hate life and to admit I have a serious problem here if I hate life, I never actually attempted to hurt myself but the thoughts are always there and my thoughts are getting stronger day by day, well the reason why I am like this I say to myself is a legitimate reason to hate life […]
I’ve tried to kill myself so hard! In many times. I just wanna die, but I don’t know how. I mean, I need a plan to execute. Make a plan, I don’t know.. Some times life is a fuck contest of status, or beauty.. I can’t see my life better than.. that. My whole life was a fuck lie, and I have never seen one reason to live. I have never a relationship goodness, I don’t have friends, I mean.. I do, but its not the point. Isn’t my life, I don’t have plan for the future, I aways think in die, or something like that. I […]
Hello. I’m new to this site. I saw it as a beacon, almost. Let me tell you a bit about myself.
I’m 14 years old, I’m bulimic, I have two brothers, and I tried to kill myself when I was 13 years old.
The bulimia didn’t develop until recently, since after the suicide attempt I was as self- loathing as ever. My brothers contribute highly to my depression. My older brother is seeing a girl whom I don’t want him to see, since I was friends with this girl at one time but she ended up molesting me. He knows about this, yet he continues to see […]
So, what happened… Thursday night, I downed a bottle of medicine, because someone three fries short of a happy meal wrote on a website that “liquid is absorbed faster than pills.†So I thought… I die faster, and I fall asleep before I suffer. So much for that idea…
Obviously, my plan didn’t work. I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything, though. I downed it, and my heart was pounding, to the point that I just knew I was going to die. So I laid down in bed, pulled the covers over my head, turned on Relient K, and tried to go to […]
I forgot about everything. Just a total blank out and then I fell apart. Tears were pouring down my face. When my mom finally came back from work we decided to go for a car drive. She said, as she often does, that something wasn’t quite right about me. Then she asked if I was at all suicidal. I quickly told her no, hoping to hear what would happen if I had said yes. She did a small cough/laugh and said that if I said yes I would go straight to the Mental Hospital. I know for sure that I couldn’t talk to her about […]