Tag:

Memory

Hello?

by subtle_bloodstains 3/22/2012

written by subtle_bloodstains

Hi. This is my first time ever posting to this site or anything like this site. I found this site doing research for my suicide, but I’ve come back multiple times just to read the posts because it seems that there are people here I can identify with.

So I suppose that I should tell my suicide story? I will try, but it’s not much of a story. It’s nothing compared to some of the things I read here, or see and hear at school. I know I have no right to feel the way I do, but that knowledge doesn’t change what I feel, it […]

3/22/2012 12 comments

Daily I Think About Suicide

by DepressedWithLife 3/22/2012

written by DepressedWithLife

Daily I think about suicide, but I don’t act on it. It’s just that, combined with school, discovering my sexuality, my appearance and family problems, I don’t know what else to do. Every time I think about this, I think I’m being irrational, but I still can’t help the urge to do it. One thing that really led me to this was discovering I was sexually attracted to girls. Being a girl myself, I find this very hard to understand, due to the fact that I’ve had crushes on guys in the past.

When I think back on it now, sometimes I wonder whether this was […]

3/22/2012 2 comments

only the now really matters

by truthbetold 3/22/2012

written by truthbetold

It’s petrifying how little from the world truly exists: only the now.

Such a narrow flickering glimpse.

The past is memory. The future is simulation. And they are both occurring in the now, the recalling of the memory, the playing of the simulation. Aren’t they?

But the mind refuses to admit it. The mind finds this microscopic now terribly boring. How can you compare this skimpy moment to the vastness of the past and the future? it asks.

rest of the text

3/22/2012 3 comments

Will things really get better?

by tryintostartanewlife 3/22/2012

written by tryintostartanewlife

I will be 15 in 3 weeks. My depression started when i was 13. I began to start cutting myself. Now i have scars left on my arms as a memory. The last time i cut was in December. I would cut whenever something would really upset me. Then when i was 13 my mom implied that i was fat so i developed an eating disorder and i lost 30 pounds from that so far. I have not recovered from either. I have a tendency of relapsing. When all of this began someone came into my life and he tried to help me. He was […]

3/22/2012 9 comments

I don’t even know why I’m still here

by aiace 3/21/2012

written by aiace

Yeah 2 posts in, how much? 3 days? maybe it’s just 2. This is kinda sad. Cause I mean, the thing that I’m writing here, in a language which is not even mine, makes me realise how damn lonely I am here and, well, to feel so lonely to decide toÂ write on a web site twice in 3 days or something it’s kinda depressing. As if I wasn’t depressed even before. But, as always, I’m fucking procastinating.

And the thing is that I’m fucking procastinating cause I don’t wanna get to the point. Cause the point has been just in front of my eyes for days […]

3/21/2012 2 comments

Pills

by dani_kuehl 3/13/2012

written by dani_kuehl

6 pills are what i took
i needed to find that peaceful nook
more than 12 and down i go
my memory is all you’ll know

i took pills a while back but never died.

3/13/2012 3 comments

Im the happiest mother-fucker alive and have never been higher

by holdingOn 3/11/2012

written by holdingOn

You know what? Its spring motha-fukin break, and I might as well enjoy it cause its gonna be my last. I wanna leave those around me with atleast one good memory. i owe them that much. in somewhere around thirty days, ill be dead. Hopefully. So self loathing is gonna take a back seat while i put a smile on my damn face and act like im normal. Normal…why cant i be normal?? Why? Why? WHY? to many fucking questions and absolutely no answers.

Goodnight/Morning and the best to you all

3/11/2012 4 comments

I give up

by pale-rainbow 3/8/2012

written by pale-rainbow

I say that im fine but im going insane. I tell people that I feel good but im in a lot of pain. I say its nothing but its really a lot. I say im okay but really im not….How can you understand me when I can’t understand myself? you tell me everythings gonna be okay. how do you know that??? i want to end this all. the person i love…the one i fell for now hates me. i cant carry on living. the purpose in life is to find your happiness. ive never found mine. EVER. im covered in scars from shoulder to wrist […]

3/8/2012 18 comments

Is it unfair?

by Ceridwen 3/1/2012

written by Ceridwen

Hi @ all

Firstly I would like to say that I am happy to have found this site.

Talking about me…. where do I start?
I have been suffering depression for most of my life (I guess). My father was a drunk, sexually abusiveÂ and beat my mum and whoever else was in his path. The nightmare ended when I was 12 and they got divorced (good news). Teenage life is never easy – I won’t bore you with it. Got married for the first time when I was 20. Life appeared fine. In the mid 90’s I was pregnant with my first baby, my little daughter was […]

3/1/2012 5 comments

It’s like the universe has left me, Without a place to go, Without a hint of light, To watch the movement glow, When our song was slowly starting, Your memory felt so real, At first against my will, But God invented chills….

by Nat.... 2/20/2012

written by Nat....

I told my friend, lydia about my ‘troubles’ earlier this year… and she showed me this poem. I thought it was amazing, so naturally I wanted to share it…. she will probably have a strong dislike towards me considering she told meÂ I was the only one to read it….
“Hands shaking violently I open my soul.
I let my spirit pour out onto the carpet
And watch as it takes form.
It’s me, A little piece of me.

Every night I stand in front of the mirror
And see what I am.
What I hate.
What I have to change.
So I carve away to […]

2/20/2012 4 comments

tomorrow’s memory

by Evariste 2/20/2012

written by Evariste

remember me– I said
to myself, yesterday.
remember today’s happiness
to carry yourself through
the sorrows of tomorrow.
by this, you may keep yourself
alive.

so I tried.

but we are creatures of the moment.
we live for seconds
so we may live through days;
and days are all
we shall remember
when we look back upon
years.

2/20/2012 1 comment

What do I do?

by Lost45 1/22/2012

written by Lost45

I was molested when I was younger by a friend of my family. This was when I was about five. I have another memory of being molested around age nine or ten. Â I began having terrifying and recurring nightmares soon after these experiences. I told my mom what happened to me on my sixteenth birthday because the dreams were intensifying. She never believed my story…. I was close to my mom. Her doubt hurt me even more than the pain of the molestation. The rest of my family does not know about what I have experienced.

1/22/2012 2 comments

The life In a Houston niqqa.

by lifeishorrible 1/15/2012

written by lifeishorrible

So I ran away yesterday only to come back three hours later.I ran away because my sorry excuse for a dad or as I say “that quy”wanted to fuck my mom and wow when I heard him tryna qet some It brouqht some horrible memories as a child hearinq that.It really toke a huqe toll In my life.Oh and I was molested when I was little so whenever I qet intimite with a qirl the memories of beinq touched comes back and sometimes I can’t qo threw ItÂ and end up lookinq like a little ***** In the eyes of the qirls.To be honest,I’d rather had […]

1/15/2012 1 comment

I bet I have a mental problem or something.

by LoveandDespair 12/28/2011

written by LoveandDespair

I don’t particularly think my story is of any significance, nor do I think anything particularly bad has happened to me, but I shall share my story anyway because of the simple fact that I want to.
I shall begin with the fact that I’ve always hated my father, as far back as I can remember he has always annoyed me, with his selfishness, lack of manners and personal space, I swear, if I even began insulting him, I could never stop. People say I have a really good memory but the truth is, I don’t I can’t exactly remember anything before the age of […]

12/28/2011 1 comment

So confused and mental :[

by amused 7/25/2009

written by amused

IÂ was at the hospital the past couple of weeks & I’m so scared.Â I’m 18 and I’ve been homeless since Jan., I weigh 70 lbs & I’m barely alive.Â Everytime my brain tumor goes away, Humphrey (yes I named it) comes back & I’m so sick of hospitals & life.Â Then they said I was dangerous to others & wanted to send me to a mental institution but I barely dodged a bullet and left. Since I was 8 I’ve had to rely on someone else to help me live [AKA hospitals/doctors] & I hate it. I hate bothering people. I’ve attempted suicide but was […]

7/25/2009 1 comment

Love?

by Jess66 7/22/2009

written by Jess66

Ok, so life hasn’t been so great lately. So there’s this girl who said she loved me a few days ago, and I LOVED her for months and months and watched her get boy-friend after boy-friend while I’m almost certian she knew I was in love with her, so I was basically nothing to her when she had a boy-friend and when they cheated on her or broke up, Of course I was “the best” and “super amazing” because I’m so soft harted I CAN’T not forgive some one. And I just kept loving her. And now recently I knew I would never have her […]

7/22/2009 5 comments

by Lauraaaa 6/25/2009

written by Lauraaaa

Ok a lot of people may think i’m pathetic because i’m only 15 and i am already thinking about suicide… well i just don’t know what to do, i’m pretty much never happy iÂ have so many bad memories in my past that i cant let go of… Up until about 2 years ago i always thought suicide was just an easy way out of things because that’s what my uncle did was take the easy way out of his problems by taking his life.

I now understand why some people think that is their only option, if you think you have nothing to live for then […]

6/25/2009 4 comments

Reasons.

by MisterRiddler 5/2/2009

written by MisterRiddler

I canceled my next appointment with my shrink. I feel as if I’ve given up on myself already. I started cutting again and it feels amazing to wake up from such blankness. That apathy, mind over matter. However, the tolerance is already building; fast this time. I’m already running the cuts under hot water for the extra wake up sensation.

What is it about our society that makes us fear and hate death so much? We are brainwashed, conditioned to value life and disapprove of death.

Maybe it’s because we are born selfish and our actions are primarily done in self interest. For example, let’s say I […]

5/2/2009 3 comments

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