I have been struggling with self hatred and poor self esteem for most of my life. It is through a change in friends and family that I have surrounded myself with positive, truly amazing people. I didn’t think life could be lived happily. But it can. I used to cut on myself, I used to do drugs and drink, among many other self destructive behaviors. But it was through the death of my mother through which I know was suicide related, even through my family lists it as “undetermined” that a new path has been made for me. I am now a Christian, I am […]
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Mom
Over the past two years I have been with a girl named Ashlyn. I’m going to go ahead and tell you the whole story of how “we” happened.
Ashlyn has a brother that is 3 years old. He drowned in a pool one afternoon while the babysitter was supposed to be watching him. His name is Brody. Brody is now on a vent to breathe and has a trach. He has been in a coma for 2 and a half years. Ashlyns mom- Jackie hired a team of nurses to take care of her son. Selfish right? Jackie believes that since everyone has granted her sympathy […]
I don’t have anything to write, because I can’t put it into words. Â I’ll just complain.
I’ve pulled away from my friends, and I’m dating a guy that I could care less about because that’s easier than getting hurt.
It’s been a long process, but I’m finally at that point where I can really say that I don’t really have friends. Â I have people that I can count on, but nobody that I would talk to. Â People have tried to help me in the past, but they always end up doing more damage. Â And as for the guy, I don’t really know what to do with him. […]
My mom constantly calls me stupid and tells me I’m a jerk, piece of trash, lazy, etc. She’s going through a stressful point in her life and I see it, but why is she hurting me? She doesn’t hit me, at least not physically. But sometimes the things she says hurt worse that the physical things abusive parents do. I’m still young, but even when I was younger I was thought of as something special. I scored off the charts on standarized tests, blew away the standard curriculum at my public school, and was invited into many gifted programs and such. I’m currently in the […]
When I searched for this website, I was totally suffering from my depression. I never went to a consultant but I knew I was depressing.
I was living in a city that everyone has the desire to living here. A wonderful city that make me fall in love with but also drain me in the hell. Two years ago, I graduated from high school, and apply to one of the university in the city which the agent helped me to prepare it all. I got a really bad high school GPA that I was really afraid of the university would’t take me. Eventually I went to […]
I am a little bit ashamed i am here now. I am not thinking about suicide again, at least not so often. I just have this constant feeling of being down.
I am sometimes thinking i am not capable of feeling good or enjoying life. I have those episodes of euphoria when something incredible happens and when life surprises me spontaneously. But i feel they are terribly rare. I know i have no reason to be unhappy because i have so many things and new people around me and i even learned to be happy because of others. I also tried to talk about my problems […]
I remember I was the sweetest girl you would ever meet but that all changed when people started bullying me.I got bullied every single day.By everyone and by my family.My mom would always yell at me and my brother would beat me.My other brother would want nothing to do with me.My dad you ask?Lets see he had left me and my mom when I was 5 years old.People would call me fat,ugly,pathetic,Ect.Basiclly all the names in the book.I didnt understand what I did at the time.I would believe everything they said I had so much pressure on me and I still do.That pressure […]
If i could find the courage to kill myself, this is what my death message will say!! ver.1.0
I decided that I didn’t want to be a sufferer any more and took on this terrible selfishness that is probably hurting you right now! The selfishness took over me and I couldn’t get over feeling sorry for my broke life. I don’t want you guys to feel sorry for me, because I don’t deserv it for selfishly killing myself, and maybe hurting you in the long run!! I am sorry that you had encountered me in your life for why I terribly just killed my self! Please […]
I’m sorry for those who left replies on my Wonderland post. I had accidentally deleted it. Thank you those who did, and those who took the time to read it, thank you to you too. Its the next day but I’m scared to leave my room, for fear he’ll be out there to yell my ear off and make me feel less again… I know he loves me because he still lets me stay at the house and drive my mom’s old car… but.. Sometimes, it just seems like all he does is shout at me for everything… he’s coping, and I can’t do anything […]
My mom died just last year. My dad is still coping with it, doing so much as to order us to not ever go into his room. I’m human, and my brother was hogging the bathroom. So, I went and used it. I get home from my job and my dad starts yelling at me. I naturally can only squeak out the words ‘I’m sorry’.
My mom said that whenever I get scared, I hide in my own little world, my wonderland… my dad has been scaring me more and more, makimg me feel worthless. I’m almost 20, but I can’t leave because I don’t […]
I’ve probably had depression my whole life. It runs in my family, and I was diagnosed at age 13. I am now 18. When I was 13 years old and in the eighth grade, my mom passed away unexpectedly on the morning of Christmas Eve. I began seeing therapists, but it was too soon and I got frustrated and was not getting the help I needed. The very same day I lost my mom, I was forced out of my house by the police. My father, brother, and I had to find somewhere else to live. We moved 5 times between Christmas 2006 and May […]
My name is Daniel aka Xeeno. I do have an past with “Suicide” and it’s painful to live through. I tried many times to jump off an bright, I tried many times to cut my self, I tried many times to shoot myself, but for some odd reason something in my life through me off. Something wouldn’t let me jump, something wouldn’t let me cut myself, something wouldn’t let me shoot myself. But for some reason now I feel that I shouldn’t live life anymore, I should let life pass by me like the wind, I should let life go, I mean I have no […]
i want to disappear, forever. it’s been a year, the most agonizing and painfully slow year of my life. i should be better, but i’m not.
recently, i was admitted into a psychiatric unit as an inpatient. i was on suicide watch. they locked me in a room and had a police guard sitting outside my door. then i was diagnosed with depression and borderline personality disorder. i had to call my mom. she cried. it hurt.
i cut. i hate myself. i hate my elephant body. i count calories meticulously, but i also go on terrible binges. i purge. my sad bouts get progressively worse. i […]
My parents have been going through a messy divorce. Found out my dad was having an affair but he ended it. there was a trial. my mom wanted a restraining order on my dad so he wouldnt be able to see her or my little brother. she said he was dangerous. he’s not dangerous. i have people who have only known my family for probably two years trying to tell me that i dont know my dad at all and even worse that they do. i do know my dad. he ended the affair, told my mom about it but mom lost her mind. she’s […]
I know I haven’t posted in a while and that’s because I didn’t have anything to say. Now I have something to say. And it’s about the loveliest of creatures – a mother. I just got done talking to mine a bit ago, no, I wasn’t talking, she was. And that’s part of the problem. She talks and I don’t. She wants me to talk though. This sounds like it would be easily solved, but I feel like it’s not that easy. You see, my mom is not that interesting to me. That’s a horrible thing to say, but it’s pretty true. We’re just so […]
Today i woke up and my mom was gone so I went outside a smoked a joint. Before it finished my mom came home (im not hiding it from her just keeping it to myself) so anyway i quickly put it out and ran inside to my room to put the roach away.. It ended up stinking up the whole house so i went to the bathroom to have a shower and get ready when my mom knocks on the door.. She told me she needs to talk to me and i got scared she found my razors, and when she told me it was […]
i feel very lonely, i mean i know every one at some point feels that way but this time i feel like there is no one out there to help me out with my problems.
The kid i like he just wants to make out, my mom and my dad always fight, i am miles away from my sister, my dad hits my mom, i’ve lost 2 of my best friends, People hate me, people talk about me behind my back and call me a slut something i’m not.
I feel very upset of my life. I have thought of suicidal but sometimes i cut […]
my life seemed perfect up untill i was three.some things you cant forget but the fear and hurt always comes back to visit me. the shit i would do to remember what it feels like to have my mom love me and be dadies little princess, till i started watching her beat my older sisters, she would beeat my oldest sister everyday after school stomp on her in the corner of the bathroom like a bug, pull her pants down and make her shit in a bucket sometimes shed say she was gonna beat the living shit out her just for having her period,when moma started […]
People have told me, “Don’t do it, Emma” and “You can talk to me about anything”. But I can’t. I know I’m not alone in this but it always feels like I am. I’ve had people call the Suicide Hotlines on me and I’ve helped other people get through their own depressions but I can never seem to shake the pain, loneliness, jealousy, or depression. I have problems I know I need to fix but I just can’t.
Im 14. My name is Emma and I live in Colorado. When I was three, my mom and dad divorced after my mom knowingly broke my younger brother’s […]
my best friend justin had gone through a hard time. his parents got divorced then his mom remarried . his stepdad and justin never saw eye to eye justin told me he wasnt even invited to the wedding. im the only person he ever trusted…he also struglled with his gender… he had very poor grades and got in trouble every day . he has a kid like innocence .he had told me how depressed he was. but at 15 everyone thinks there depressed so i supported him and loved him.. he took prescription pills and one day at school had a tick tack bottle filled […]