Over the past two years I have been with a girl named Ashlyn. I’m going to go ahead and tell you the whole story of how “we” happened.
Ashlyn has a brother that is 3 years old. He drowned in a pool one afternoon while the babysitter was supposed to be watching him. His name is Brody. Brody is now on a vent to breathe and has a trach. He has been in a coma for 2 and a half years. Ashlyns mom- Jackie hired a team of nurses to take care of her son. Selfish right? Jackie believes that since everyone has granted her sympathy that she is some sort of God and should have everything given to her. Honestly I can’t stand her.
Back to the point.. My dad and stepmom helped Jackie with everything when the whole Brody thing first happened. They have become distant over time. Now, I am a girl and of course so is Ashlyn. I knew that I had feelings for girls ever since i was in about 5th grade. I never shared my attraction with anyone beisdes people on the computer. Ashlyn was straight as a board when we met through our parents. She had boys basicly drooling over her. I’m assuming that she needed someone to help her cope and I became that person. After a few months It was obvious we were attracted to one another. We admited to eachother that we had feelings and decided to be together as a couple. Our parents came to the conclusion that we could not see eachother or talk to one another. Growing up in a Baptist family.. you could only imagine. If you have read my other post you would know I suffer with knowing my true identity. I might just post a picture of myself soon. I love to hunt and fish and nothing girly at all!
Back to the point. My family accepted the fact that I love Ashlyn over time. Hers have not. Her mom despices me. But really and truley, her mom doesn’t even show emotion for her other kids. She used to be obssesed with Brody until she got remarried for the 3rd time.. Ashlyn and I have been together since March 25th 2010. She has became my world and I would even go as far as calling her my obsession. Ive lost all of my friends when i came out and so did she. We only have eachother so you could imagine all the fights we go through. I feel like I should be with a boy to make my parents happy but thats just not who I am. Im extremely uncomfortable with myself.
I honestly don’t even know what im talking about anymore.. I just need some self asteem and someone that understands.
7 comments
So, why do your parents hate the fact that you are going out with her? If you guys are going out because you are being rebellious you probably shouldn’t do that. I am also lost on your friends. What happened to them?
My parents have accepted us. I do love her. Im way past the stage of rebelion. She makes me happy regardless of what people think. Its just the fact that I can tell that my parents don’t want to accept me. They just don’t want to lose me if they stand with their true beliefs. Ashlyns parents are the ones that don’t like me at all. They feel as if I corrupted Ashlyn and that she still likes boys when she obviously does not. The whole friend issue happened when me and Ashlyn came public. Everyone stopped talking to me as a whole just because of my sexual preference. Only a few people still tried to talk to me but Ashlyn and I get extrememly jealous about everything. With that being said, im “not allowed” if you will to talk to anyone else. Thats why I believe this isn’t healthy. I’m not sure what to do.
Ok. I didn’t read a key sentence which was why I am confused. I see now. I honestly didn’t know that the kids today were growing up to be like that. Meaning, your friends completely abandoning you.
Be careful with obsessions. They trick the mind into believing into believing what is. I would take maybe a half or full step back and see what is really going on in the big picture. Obsessions also make a human mind make terrible decisions. Kind of like being drunk. Keep love at love and it will turn out for the better. If you had friends that abandoned you based on your sexual preference then…..well I think you know my response to that.
That actually makes sense. A lot of times people give advice that i never really can wrap my head around but I will try and be more opened minded. A big step back will help alot! Thank you for this advice.
Great story telling, really captures the reader, It can be very hard for gay people, we live in a very closed minded world. Did you know back in the time of jesus gay people were perfectly accepted in society, my find who is a history major tells me that when every people are crowded into small area’s some turn gay to quell the population, its a natural course of things, it happens in the animal kingdom all the time.
Anyway, i made a friend in college, another guy he was just another one of my socal circle, one night when we were on the lash he kissed me, i pushed him off and said what the fuck, he then started babling and crying and saying how he liked me and was trying to find a way to tell me, i told him to shut up, and that i dont care if he was gay, but i am not, and i told him i still want to hang out because he is a good laugh but he is gona have to get his man love somewhere else, That is how a friend treats a friend, A REAL FRIEND DOES NOT ABANDON YOU, if they do then there not real friends or there just narrow minded fucks and your better off.
By the way, here is the advice bit, when ever you next feel jelious because your girlfriend is doing something thats making you jelious, just think well she must feel this way aswell when you do the same thing, you can prob do that for alot of things its not like dating a guy, its venus and venus, you think alike.
in short, if it would make you jelious it will make her jelious, i hope this helps.
Peace 🙂
Thank you! Yes, it is extremely hard for people like me. Your exactly right about the ones that abandoned me. I’m very shy so it’s quite hard to make new friends. At the school Im attending there are a lot of stuck up people. Everyone believes there better than everyone else. There was a suicide last week to tell you how bad it is. I’m not sure if the poeple there provoked that or not but its not good place to be. I will definantly take your advice when dealing with ashlyn! Thank you for helping. It really makes you think when you think about this religiously. Gay people didn’t just randomly come up within generations. I believe I was born this way. I’m glad your still friends with the man lover! haha. It says alot about you to still be friends with someone that kissed you like that. I wish there were more people like you honestly. Again, thanks for the advice!(:
Your choices are your choices just as much as Ashlynn’s moms choices are her own..you can’t have any control over the actions or responses of other people but you can and are in control of the actions and responses that you have. Be confident in who you are and what you want. Sometimes you have to make your own family also. Just because someone is blood related doesn’t make them family and doesn’t mean you have to be close. And as far as your friends go…once again…you can’t control the actions of others…only yourself. If you give up, the world wins!! No way…you are better than that!! Be an example to others like you…not a statistic…