Feel horrible today. I walked out on my job, because I couldn’t stand the bullying anymore, and I know I shouldn’t have to. Doesn’t change the fact that my friend had to pay my rent this month, and I need a job to pay bills. Makes me feel guilty as hell… I’ve never taken money from anyone. Now I’m just sick. I have no idea how I will face my boss, or how I will get the motivation and the courage to go out and look for another job.. this one was bad enough. Can’t even keep a shit job. What’s the point, I think… […]
Tag:
Money
many people need a loving partner, to be told they matter and accepted as they are
some may see this need as a drawback, but it in my opinion is a good thing: they still have some hope left, hope in the fact life will give them that special person
sometimes, hope can be enough to keep you going
I’m not sure that I care if I matter to someone .. all I know is I need some money to escape my current situation
plus, money equals freedom these days
This post probably will have little to none importance and I shouldn’t go through with what I will but I am coward and a loser. There’s hasn’t been much failures in my life until now and when I usually set my mind to do something I do it. You know, like a challenge you assign yourself and you are determined to accomplish i by whatever means.
24 of age currently. I’ve lived a normal life I like to think but in reality it’s not. Honestly comparing to some other posts I’ve read in the past few days mine doesn’t come as close for a reason to […]
If he lives I hope you all die painful, torturous deaths. If he doesn’t make it, I hope you live extremely long lives. And I hope that everyone you ever love is taken from you. If he dies I hope your lives are hell. I want you to wish that you could have been afforded the courtesy of being beaten to death. I hope someone bashes your fucking kneecaps in. I want you to wish you were dead. I hope you fucking rot. You deserve less than nothing.
Getting drunk or wanting money is not an excuse. You’re fucking pigs. Worthless pieces of shit. You don’t […]
Well I’ve become friends again with a girl i went to high school with, not sure if I’ve mentioned it before… But anyway every weekend for the past 2 months we go out clubbing and everything but she doesn’t invite me out on Wednesdays or Thursdays which are the most social days of the week here… I don’t want to ask to go because like that’s just asking to be around people who don’t or might not want you around you know?
Uhhh I don’t know what to do at all, I over think things to much and create problems that don’t need to be […]
This is the question I ask myself everyday and honestly I don’t ever expect the answer. All my life people have had little faith in me. Telling me I will go to jail when I get older, saying I beat down a girl when I did not, and so much more. In fact I was accused of rapeing my  niece when I LOVE that girl and have told everyone that I always want to be there to protect her. If I raped her that would go against my word AND my morals.  People have told me numerous times I look like a pedophile and that I have […]
I am not one for showing my true feelings to the general public. I consider myself to have gone completely numb on the inside but nobody could ever tell thanks to my happy personality which I fake just so I do not have to answer questions regarding my true life. I thought once I got out of high school my life would be a bit different, it is in some ways but not everything is peachy. I have been physically and mentally abused by my mom since I was born and I am 21 now and it still continues. According to her I am worthless, […]
My grandparents were gonna let me see my dad in California before I go back to VA but he can’t afford to get me back in time for court, so again, not gonna see him. This game that’s been going on between them my whole life. So I have a choice. Go back to VA early with my sister or stay the rest of the summer here and go back when we were planning to-at the end of the summer. If I leave early, I know it will break my mom’s heart again and I’ll have to be with my grandparents longer. But if I […]
I’ve always wanted to die, ever since I was a child, I have no idea why. When I was a child and I believed in god, I prayed not to wake up the next day. And yet, I had a normal childhood. It seems that I have a tendency towards depression. Well, the years have passed and I imagined killing myself in so many ways that I can’t even remember them all. Now I’m all alone but I’m fine with loneliness, in fact, I think I want to be alone. I’m sick and tired of this crazy world and all the people, I want a […]
Hi. I’m marissa and I’m a drug addict and an achoolic and “suicidal”
I havent always been like this. It started in 6th grade. I had no friends cause my best friend/ only left me for another person. I was all alone. Then 7th grade rolled around and I made a couple new friends and started to drink my worries away. I would rarely talk in school to anyone. When I got home I would alway go home and cry. I cut every night. When 8th grade came I was majorly popular. But it wasn’t my true self that was popular, it was my fake. My […]
Today is the day to enroll in that shitty tafe course I mentioned before enrollments have to be done by 3… And it is now 11:51am
Im still in bed thinking about how I’m not going to waste 1600 on something I’m going to fail, besides I don’t ever have that money! I will never have that money with the amount of shifts I get.
I got onE shift this week for 5 hours oh that’s helpful. Not.
Hm I’ve applied for nightclub work but like usuall no ones bothered to contact me, I suppose it’s only been 2 days but hm.
I’m also dying […]
I pop on most days to work on a project, or to write a reply. Some days I’ll just read quietly. I speak up when I have something to share but I realize my voice just like before doesn’t mean much.
When I was younger I was a listener and I was forced to be a talker. To be a talker to make myself clear and to stop assumptions about me.
A phrase rings through my head “You can’t be a hero” at 12 years old my father did everything to crush my hopes. I did little things, I donated a little money, I held open […]
I’ve been taking antidepressants for years and they work for a while but then the black moods always come back. I switched my meds again but I just don’t feel right. I wish I had the money to see a psychotherapist on a weekly basis but I don’t. I just really need some one to talk to. If I thought that shooting heroin into my veins would help me I would try it. I feel so desperate and alone. I love my daughter so much and I know that if I killed myself it would really mess up […]
A couple of months ago I was telling: “I’ll wait two years, so I can at least exploit a life insurance and give some money to the people I love”.
A month ago I was telling: “I’ll wait at least my birthday (in august), it will be at least a message”
Now I’m telling: “Why should I wait a month? Who cares? Ten days to close all the things I have open”
Well its finally official, I’m doing nothing with my life, I can’t even get up outbid my bed to get myself a Heath care card. I need it for when I go to tafe, which is like a college it’s just really shit, and cheap..
Anyway it’s going to cost 1606.00 If I don’t have a health care card, it’ll only be 303 less with one but yeah.
Well anyway, I’ve decided im not going to do this corse because I fail everything I try, and I don’t have the money or motivation at all.
I would rather work until next year and do something […]
I come from a decent family and did not suffer a tramatic childhood. However it was not perfect. There was poverty. There was social services and cops. There was divorce and suicidal thoughts. What are we here for? To keep working, smile at eachother. If you don’t desire possessions then you don’t desire money. If you don’t care about money then you don’t care about a house,car,family ect. So why try? 40,60,80,100 years on this earth to make and work for what you leave behind? Why wait? I care too much about my family to make them look for my body. I care to much […]
I’m 18, and some days I do not know why I am alive. I have considered death when I’ve been at my weakest. I’ve wanted to go to the beach drunk & walk out into the water as far as I could go and just let go of everything. Let the waves take me away. I’ve wanted to overdose on my Zoloft. And when I really can’t handle anything I take a lighter to my left arm and burn myself. my arm is scarred up now. I HAD a boyfriend from April to this Sunday. We’ve been on and off for the last three months. […]
stupid broken life.
almost every night, awful dreams about hiding, being emotionally stripped by what they do to me.
i don’t need to worry about money. i don’t need to worry about what career i should take. i don’t need to worry about how i look. pretty good huh?
every day i wake up and for a second i forget who i am. then the pain comes. it hurts inside, everywhere. all the time. it tints my vision. i am numb usually. i don’t feel real. nothing feels real. it’s my mind’s way of protecting me. so every minute, one minute at a time, i am alive.
always anxious. […]
I just wanted to let you guys know that my ex-husband killed himself and the investigators found this website on his hard drive. He did it the exact same way he said he would on here too. He lit himself on fire on our front lawn and then shot himself after about 5 minutes. How am I supposed to pay for myself and the kids now? He withdrew all the money and spent it on god knows what and his life insurance policy was cancelled. Now the 5k a month I was getting in child support and alimony is gone. […]
I withdrew all my money from the Bank.
I have spent the last few days giving it away.
Trying to achieve the mindset that the time has come.
I tell myself be brave you will be missed by none. The banality of my existence tells me I am making the only decision I can.
That life can be so painful. I wish for a life I was never given. So I say I no longer want this one. I have had enough. Some of the stories I have read here
resonate so loudly.
How is it some can fly so high, whilst others suffer and […]