I’ve never been one for expressing my feelings. But in the past two years i have seen two of my closest friends pass one from an o.d and the other from a gang beating. No one was arrested for the beating and were all free. I haven’t been able to let a day go by without wishing i was them. I have thoughts of my finally moments in my head everyday now. I am bullied at schhool teased and not aloud to make my own choices. My life is run by other people and when ever i try to talk about my problems all my […]
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Money
I’m tired. My body detests me. I’ve put it through hell. The scars can attest to that. I can’t fall asleep without a drink in me. I close my eyes at two in the morning and wake up to non existing screaming a couple hours later. The men in my life have all disappointed me. I’ve been bought off with money and sex. And yet, whose to say that it’s not my fault as well? I can’t find worth in myself. I don’t know if I’m pretty or pretty stupid. I don’t know. At the time I sure as hell didn’t care. I just want to have that […]
It’s funny how you can feel like your suffocating even on this web site… I migth as well save up my money for a gun.. Maybe I can have some fun after I walk acrosse the stage….Class of 2014!!!!!!…… Do any one know the requirements to buying a gun?
I have always been a lost child in the wonders of how this world work, felt different, alone, unwanted. My perception of life was so different from others to the point I was unsure what the definition of life was… to me life was what we based it on what we create of it, not repetition and constant drills to form us into all similar beings. I never understood peoples fascination with money when I was younger, it was paper… why did people fight over it. As I grew I started becoming more frustrated with the world in lack of understanding the point of it […]
Hello everyone ! I’m doing this project i call ‘Tell me your story’. I did a facebook page & a blogspot. But I need YOUR help to make this work.I want to provide a way for everyone to interact with each other. This is how it works. You tell me your story, I tell everyone else. You could be known or stay on anon. It’s all up to you. What matters is that your story will be heard. People will know that you exist. You will leave a trace that you once existed. You will help other not do the same mistakes you did or […]
I’ve been feeling depressed for a while now, basically for the last 10 years or so. Really the one person who has kept me from thinking about suicide, and who got me to stop cutting has been my girlfriend for the last four years. A couple days ago she tried to tell me that things weren’t really working out, and basically she thought it would be best if we took a break from being in a relationship. At the time she made a convincing argument, basically saying neither of us has time, effort, or financial stability to deal with a relationship. I’m under the impression […]
I have a good life friends that care about me my dad has money and we are doing fine but my mom died when i was six from breast cancer she got it from pregnancy i’m always missing her even though i don’t remember her i sometimes feel its my fault she died, and on top of that i get okay grades but never good enough for my dad i stopped trying which made it worse but im no longer motivated i just don’t care anymore. He yells at me all the time saying words don’t matter but today was the worst i feel broken […]
I just dont feel like being anywhere. It seems as though i dont share the same values as those who inhabit this patch of earth alongside me. I feel like im in a constant state of purgatory, neither here nor there. The only reason im on this site is i can express myself to those who might possibly relate, although im not so sure about that either. Im a blessed individual with a loving family and a lot of opportunities laid before me. Im mentally and physically blessed and i feel selfish for cursing my existence but i havent met anyone who gets me. Everyone […]
I have missed three psychiatry appointments because I don’t want someone to tell me I’m depressed nor do I want to believe in the existence of depression. (Which is a damn contradiction cause I’m a psych major and I know it does). I don’t want pills. I don’t want to talk about how I feel. The furthest I ever got to getting help was to the door of my psychiatrist’s office. I freaked out and left. I’m doing a half-ass job in everything. My GPA went down wayyy low. Money, my biggest motivator doesn’t even wake me up in the morning for work anymore. Guess […]
My life is good. I don’t have to worry about much, my parents give me food, shelter, money etc. I’m in college doing a degree I love, but have no motivation to do any of the assignments. I feel like killing myself all the time because it would just be easier than feeling pain all the time. I just don’t want to live. I struggle to do things now. I only do them because I don’t want my parents to be disappointed. All the money they wasted on me for a failed son.  I’ve made plans to kill myself before my birthday, but I don’t know if I’ll go through with […]
I feel numb right now, Â maybe of the anti depressants im taking, they make me feel weird. I cant sleep even though ive taken enough sleeping tablets to knock me out 3 times. I dont have anyone to talk to. I dont have the energy to write details, but here is my basic story.
My life for as long as I can remember has been unhappy, Ive been physically & mentally abused all my life. It made me insecure, I developed an eating disorder, self harmed and was suicidal a long time, I told myself when i’m older I wont feel like this and it will […]
I don’t quite understand why it feels so much easier to write about my problems then to say them out loud I suppose it’s like my thoughts are my own little secret I mean that’s what your mind is for right? A space where you can detach yourself from reality if only for a few moments and go somewhere.. be it a memory or completely make up.. But no amount of day dreaming will save me from myself, Let me start off by saying I am now 19 years old to be 20 in August and have suffered from clinical depression for 4 years, I […]
I won’t share my personal drama, since I’m sure most of you have enough with your own shit and I find it pointless to vomit a self-indulgent wall of text which screams “my life is shittier than yours”. I simply want to share this suicide-related issue and see if any of you are going through similar stuff and how you’ve dealt with it. Please refrain from posting “at least you have friends”-style crap.
I’ve already planned my suicide, even saved money for all the stuff that is required when someone dies (funeral and that stuff), and I’m always writting suicide notes telling everyone that this is […]
Let us take a walk, follow me to the edge of this building. The climb up here
was very tough wasn’t it? Did you say a hundred flights to the top? I guess the
elevator is still out of order than? I have been up here for a long time. I’ve
been looking down at this city. Don’t worry we can’t fall off from this ledge.
I’ve fallen enough times in my life, once more wouldn’t be so bad anyway. I
didn’t mean to trouble you my friend. Are you cold? It can be chilly out here
exposed to the world. Here take my coat. […]
well a lively chat today. i was surprised that you had already read last nights post. and surprised that you would be offended by that surprise. seriously my cynicism has everything to do with my self loathing and not your personal or professional capabilities. my previous therapist never called me at the hut . and i know that i am just one of many that you see. i did notice by the way that you zinged me pretty good. yes i know that killing myself would leave a mess for others to clean up. both literally and figuratively. i also know that my family and […]
Everyday is getting tougher. I’ve not only lost the family I created with my wife but I can’t seem to find anyone who cares for me. I’m a fat ugly slob who sleeps with prostitutes so he can feel the tiniest shred if intamacy. I am trying to belong to a world that I don’t fit into. Not that I am trying to fit into any particular category that people try to identify themself with. I just don’t fit in anywhere. I am truly a misfit.I can make friends , laugh and pretend to have fun but its ultimately lacking truth and substance. I feel […]
Sometimes I just sit in class and wish so many things. I hate going to school. I wish there was no such thing. I wish I was born when school seemed so much easier. I wish I had a tree that grew money. I wish my hair would stop falling and thinning. I wish I was skinny. I wish I was pretty. I wish I wasn’t dumb. I wish I had nothing to regret. I wish I had all my pets. I wish all the worthless and horrible people would die. I wish I had a walk-in closet filled with clothes. I wish I had […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. Everything that could possibly go wrong in my life has to this point. In high school I never had a problem with friends or anything else. I was pretty popular and good at sports. It has done nothing but go down hill since then. I got arrested for a DUI last fall. That was extremely embarrassing and living in a town with 300 people in it only made it worse. I feel like I brought shame to my family. After that I dropped out of school because I kept failing classes. Now I have no money and no […]
My name is drew, i am 20 years old, and currently residing in a “suck you under” little town in texas. I grew up a happy child, played sports and had lots of friends. But were did it all go wrong? why do i have no friends? no family? no life? why is waking up a day to day challenge? i guess you could say im to chicken shit to kill myself. but the thought has passed my mind alot more than it should. i wish i could just leave this world behind….and no one would remember me. i see my life and friends […]
I came from a unforunate upbringing. Suffice to say, there was lots of weird stuff that is crimminal and will follow me until the day that I die. I put up a shell that protected me. When I moved out of the house at 18 I lived alone. I worked alone. At this time I was morbidly obese. I overcame that addition. Got in shape. Enlisted in the reserves. Finished my B.Sc. and now find my self in Law School. It took me 12 years of my life to get to be a freshman law school student. 4 years ago I met a girl. Despite […]