When the world is a monster
Bad to swallow you whole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCvmS9Cb42w
Kick the clay that holds the teeth in
Throw your trolls out the door
Tag:
Monster
Hey guys, my name is Fabienne, I’m 17 and from New Zealand and I have been at war with myself since I was born. Literally. Mum said ‘you came into this world not really wanting to live’ so I guess life-long depression is my diagnosis. I’ve been bullied for having eczema since I was 5, being called names like “Scabby” and things like that, then was ostracized from age 6 through till age 14 at school. I moved schools in Spetember 2009 and started to get boys attention for the first time and ended up giving my body to them so I could feel ‘normal’ […]
Last friday my oxy script ran out so I had to go 3 days without it, those three days were hell all I could think about was getting high again. I just dosed up on about 9o milligrams of oxy. I dont wanna go through this again ive relapsed hard and I dont wanna go threw this again. I met the girl of my dreams and I know if she finds out im screwed. I live a double life my friends hate drug users yet im high as a kite everytime im around them and I dont wanna lose anymore friends. At this point these […]
Set your gazes to the sky,
Look your sadness in the eye.
I don’t believe you want to die,
Silly, crying child.
Brace yourself against the ill.
Stand strong and ignore the chill.
Placate the monster with a pill.
And you with life will reconcile.
Warm yourself in rays of sun
Set tasks that can be done
And then you’ve normalcy won
If you go that extra mile
Bring yourself to places new
Take great care with what you do
Beget another friend or two
It will be easy after while
Build it up, build it high
Your life should now reach the sky
Live now not as a […]
I don’t understand why I feel this way. It’s like no matter what I do I am still a pathetic worthless piece of trash who deserves to be beaten and raped. I am 22 now and my life should be better I haven’t talked to my step dad in 7 years. I thought I was better now. Last spring I was raped by two strangers and ever since I have been lashing out at people. I want them to hurt me because if I star it then the only person I have to blame is me… The down side is that now I just want […]
First part is mainly to regulars and administration and such..
My name is Mike.. I am opinionated, loud-mouthed, and I am (in my correct opinion) always right…
I am crude at times, use bad language all the time (much much worse in real life) and speak my mind, stand up for myself, and for what I believe is true, and I will stand up for someone who may not be able to stand up for themselves.. I am funny, I am crazy, I am defiantly somebody ya may hate when I’m around but ya will miss when i am gone..
What I wanna say is, if I […]
Abusive, emotional, roller coaster relationship ends after 4 years.
Wonder how it lasted so long? When we weren’t cussing each other out, we were great.
Reason why it ended was because I cheated. Nothing can describe how much guilt, regret, and sorrow i feel on a daily basis. (November)
Since then, I’ve been there for her in every way, I’ve showed her a complete change in every aspect of my personality.
Most people might question her still dealing with me, but its more than luck, I’ve earned it.
We’ve planned a suicide together and aimed for this year but now it seems to be put on a halt.
She’s told me she doesn’t want a relationship […]
the only thing keeping me from a 23 storey free fall is guilt towards my family.
their love for me keeps me in this pain. I endure it to save them pain.
this is my thought process.
crying, bleeding monster is all I know how to be.
i wish I wasn’t afraid of hurting them.
i wish I could have that free fall peace.
I’m dead. I don’t seem dead, I can breathe and taste food and smell flowers, and I don’t look dead but I AM DEAD. My mind has turned into decay, bit by bit it’s crumbling to dust. A lunatic lives inside here, a scavenger that feeds upon my decaying soul.
I look in the mirror and I don’t see my silhouette anymore, all I see is this thing that’s consuming me and my shadow behind it like a forgotten whisper of who I was once upon a time. I’ve shredded everything that has made me once me, my faith and my imagination are gone and […]
I let myself do this. Maybe one day things will get better. Right now I feel really sad over the stupidest thing. I guess it hurts to love and to get attached to someone. The only good thing that’s happened in a while. I miss him already. I need to grow up.. I feel like a danger to myself right now. I’m suppose to tell my parents when I don’t feel safe from myself but I’m hoping today will be the day I finally go through with it. I’m a monster I guess I can be heartless a lot. I don’t want to live this […]
The worst fear to have is a fear of ones self, you can’t run or hide from yourself, when scared you cannot stop yourself. I am terrified of myself everyday..i can hurt me more then anyone else. I have lived with this fear for a long time, but yet again the fear has grown. The fear grows when my emotions get stronger and sadder, when i feel empty and comatose’d. I cannot run or hide or stop myself anymore. I have no one or nothing to hold back the frightful me from hurting the scared me. I am a monster….just not of my own making.. […]
Here is the place where I will let myself be terrified
I’m sick of telling you that I’m okay, that I’m fine
It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to hate lying
This time I won’t turn off the panic, I wanna cry
Release, I need to free the monster, free the fear
Even if I have to cut apart the cage
I will destroy this with my rage
I don’t wanna prevent myself from being this way
I don’t wanna tell you that I wanna live today
Because if I were to be honest, I don’t
And I’m scared of what I’ll do to […]
Here is the place where I will let myself be terrified
I’m sick of telling you that I’m okay, that I’m fine
It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to hate lying
This time I won’t turn off the panic, I wanna cry
Release, I need to free the monster, free the fear
Even if I have to cut apart the cage
I will destroy this with my rage
I don’t wanna prevent myself from being this way
I don’t wanna tell you that I wanna live today
Because if I were to be honest, I don’t
And I’m scared of what I’ll do to […]
The pain is overwhelming
It has taken up my soul
All I ever think about is “will I lose controlâ€
The feeling of being lonely
The thoughts of pure despair
I think I am broken far beyond repair
The beast inside my head has grown considerably
Feeding me all these thoughts
Giving me false dreams
I don’t understand why this happens
I’m nearly ready to just give in
I want to give my soul to the and commit that final sin
I’m asked if everything’s alright
Of course I smile and lie
But whenever I’m alone I feel ready to die
I cover up my […]
I know I already did, but this time, I’ll do it in songs! How fun! Hahaha. Anyways, we’ll start from when my grandpa died, and my dad almost died: Hello by Evanescence. I can’t explain how it relates, but that’s what I always listen to. Next up, when my dog died. My Last Breath by Evanescence. Again, the events of her death really go along with the song. After she died, I found a song that I would sing when I missed her. It’s: Goodbye My Friend by Linda Ronstadt. Then, my grandma went insane and hates me. For this, I kinda think of Imaginary […]
I don’t want to go out just a number in history. I don’t want to be nameless in the history books. I go on this site, and I see people with a lot of potential to go down in history- if they could make it through the hard times. If they could find something worth fighting for. Because really, when it’s all said and done, you will be a number. Part of the “estimated (number) that died in the year 2013…). But while we live we can be a hero. Heroes come from the most unlikely of places. Heroes are only heroes because they took […]
My life is a big piece of wrongful humor.
I wish I could dig my regrets deep down, break my sorrows, and let go of my sins.
Who’s that uncredited monster that dwells behind the scenes of my life? I will find you and kill you.
There is no such thing as routine. There is regular disorder.
Everything is possible… Until a choice has been made.
It won’t be what can’t be.
Forgive the truth for its cruelty.
Are you frightened? I’ve got a cup of pleasure for you.
Things, which make you cry, should reverse.
They are laughing, again. May they choke on their laugh.
Destroy all, destroy all or nothing.
So strange to be alone,
I don’t know how to do this
I’ve been alone before, but never like this
When do I stop hurting?
Can’t seem to forget her face
The love of my life… Now sees me as a monster!
Is all heartbreak alike?
I can feel my strength fading,
But is it from the starvation,
Or is it from the knife?
Empty.Empty. This void that consumes me but wait shouldn’t I be happy and cloaked with this overwhelming love you’re giving me. But my EMPTINESS, loneliness take over me and these dark clouds hang over me…as I gasp for air…it’s no use. This monster inside me clutches at my lungs and slows my heart rate as the light dims…. Â I feel Cold. DEAD. No I am very much awake, although these hollow faded brown lifeless eyes stare back at you. I am not there to be aware or share in the laughter that seems to be laughing at me. Â I am alone.
from reverse
Are people that want to commit suicide mentally ill? Yes; at least that is what almost all doctors, psychiatrists, law enforcement personnel and people that claim to have moral superiority and responsibility for monitoring the world population and assuring that everyone have their (questionable) values (and judgments) will tell you. Since these very same people have never seriously considered ending it all and their mind has been clouded (over the years) by religious dogma that has been crammed down their throat. Now they think they have the right to steer their touted morals into controlling the actions of everyone on the planet. With the threat […]