It was roughly about this time last year that that darkness swooped in and took over.
It’s happened before, but in time would usually pass, this time, it’s remained.
Every day is a struggle, I’ve tried so many things to shake it..
Girls, drinking, exercise, working, everything just a temporary distraction, just clicking off the seconds, trying to make it through another day.
Finding this site has helped, a place to vent, to read other peoples experiences and feel a certain kinship, to know am not alone, dealing with a life that once promised so much potential, now, just a daily chore to remain,hoping for […]
I don’t think there’s much need to go into detail. I’ve tried to get on with my situation but unfortunately it’s just not going to work out. I’ve made my decision, I’ve given life a fair shot and am not acting on a spur of the moment emotion.
So I’ve been giving it some serious thought and one of my main problems is as the title says. I’m not sure whether I should just start cutting people off and getting them out of my life or not. I’m a patient person and can easily wait up to a couple of years before doing the deed, which […]
I feel so much sadness I dont now if Im just feel bad for myslef and cowardice about my life that what my sister told me Or if just crazy liky what my mother law says I feel so worthless and useless.
So it’s been a while since I’ve commented or posted on here. Before I found SP I felt worthless, purposeless and like a failure. I’ve failed at everything I’ve attempted in my life, but when it came to being there for you guys I felt like I meant something. Like I could actually help people like me. However, when those thoughts start to whirl around in my mind every negative, demonic energy creeps up and tells me why I’ll never be worth it and while I’ll never make a difference. I’ve always felt as if I was in search of something, something fulfilling. I’m not […]
Do you ever just stay up late til like 5am and just struggle to find a reason to not kill yourself? I have done this for the past 2 weeks.
The worst feeling in the world, is being treated like a second option, and feeling unwanted. Being with someone who constantly makes up excuses for not seeing you and then wonders why I get upset so often.
My family disowned me. I have 0 hobbies. 0 friends. I do nothing with my life except go to work and be bored as fuck in my house alone.
I tried to kill myself once, obviously failed. At first I thought, […]
Im so lost so broken Im trying with every fiber in my body to keep it together. but when I get myself in room alone I can’t function. I want to die soooo bad , I want it l to end . my husband seen me in ball of mess in the closet. He said “don”t worried I’ll take to get makeup later , so stop crying ” I said I dont care About the make up it sucks but whatever . I want to die i thought. Then he asked wich killed me to hear but felt numb inside. Are you unhappy with […]
He did it this past Christmas. I found out about it about a month later. I reacted by being intensely jealous. It was his first attempt and he succeeded. I’ve made three attempts already and am still here.
Right now, I’m fine with that. I’m not particularly suicidal at this moment. But I believe that I’ll ultimately take my own life, whether it’s this year, next year or twenty years from now. I’m just so tired and life (my life, anyway) is meaningless. It makes me so sad that I have people who care about me who I will totally fuck up when I finally do […]
Im done I cant take it no more or just might slit my wrist tonight i will die i cant live in this life no more i cant i wanna die so im going to take my life and if go to hell im a theif and horrible person I take advantage of the stupid and bleed them dryvim go there anyway so I just go quicker
I haven’t really believed in anything for a number of years now. I’ve heard people say that faith is the antidote to fear. One or two friends have suggested that maybe if I had some spirituality in my life, I wouldn’t feel so hopeless and afraid of life all the time. But faith has been kind of anathema to me. Belief in something just seems to set me up for bitter disappointment when I realize it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
I certainly don’t believe in myself, at least not when I’m in society. Some people can believe in the goodness of humanity, which I don’t […]
I’m jobless again. Idk how to feel about that. I have a shit ton of projects that can make me more profitable than another job or the scam that modern school can be. Take out thousands in student loans so you to can maybe make 45000 a year and be a higher class of broke than you are. I’ll pass. Im going to look for jobs mind you. Im just going to focus on the things i want to do as well. I’m actually more obsessed with my weight. I’ve been obese my entire life and i “only” have another 40 to 50 lbs left […]
Thanks for having me here chaps. Thanks you for commenting on my posts and apologies (to the non-cat people) for the fact that most of them included my cats!
In the UK, 2am this morning marked the start of British Summer Time. Naturally, it’s pissing down with rain, but at least the increased hours of daylight means I’ll be able to see it for longer!
Here’s my final set of lyrics to share with you. Frank Turner’s song ‘The Next Storm (it’s not all them, just the ones resonating with me at the current time) –
I don’t want spend the whole of my life […]
It’s Easter Sunday and all I can think is that my life could not possibly be more hopeless. I am 40 yrs old and I have accepted the fact that I will never have a husband, never have children. I haven’t been able to find a job. I’m stressing out about the 2 job interviews I have tomorrow. Everyone else I know is celebrating today with their families and I am laying in bed all alone unable to move. All I want is peace. If I fail to find a job again this week I think I will finally try to end my […]
I’be technically been on this site for 2 or 3 years now just looking around, but this is really the first time I’ve ever made a post. I’ve seen how everyone here connects and empathizes with each other, and I guess now I’ve decided that finally posting and visiting the sight without private browsing on could be the best thing to help for right now. I’m in a bad spot; potentially the worst I’ve ever been in. To be honest I’m pretty sure I won’t be alive for much longer than a year if that, barring a miracle. And if I do die soon I […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
The only thind that make lookk forward to lake tahoe is there nothing tieing my in-laws there they “Say there leaveing it in August” so whats keeping me from taking my life there? …. Nothing .
Theysay money is coming easy there so If I make enough. I gooe the resorts have a comfey bed and food feathered down blanket there. so I can take something to sleep and not wake up .
Or a nice bath to take box cutter to my arm and drift away I like water. My family will give up onme the second I get the plane so there no worrie about […]
its the first time in months I drew something it’s a bit rusty but thought I would share it with u guys try put some colour in my life though all the darkness 
You are wrong, fucked, and overrated!
I think I’m gonna be sick and it’s your fault!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything.
I haven’t slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, ************!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything!
AAAHHH…
Shallow skin, I can paint with pain.
I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain.
Everyday it’s the same – I LOVE, YOU HATE.
But I guess I don’t care any more.
AAAHHH…
Fix my problems with the blade.
While my eyes turn from blue to gray.
God, the […]
I’ve been reading this site for a few weeks but this is my first post. In a lot of ways, I wish I could go back to when I was little, when I spent most of my time alone in my room reading or solving number puzzles or making up stories. Before there was any pressure to socialize or compromise endlessly or impress others in general.
I spent most of my childhood blocking out my emotions. Criticism and rejection have always been very, very painful. It often feels like I’m walking around in a shooting video game except everyone else has armor or shields and I don’t. […]
A lot of people are really having a tough time right now and I’m one of them
i can’t seems to get my head around why people get depressed? have I always been depressed subconsciously at one point my life was ok I guess then depression kicked in and it’s just escalated from there really I mean I self harmed since a kid not cutting scratching my self hitting then as I got older cutting came about
why do people get depressed some people can have everything live nice have money etc and still get depressed isit something in the water government trying to depopulate the earth […]
Hey all, I’ve known and read through SP for a little while now and have now joined.
Where do I begin. “I hate my life”, I guess would be it. I think and say this most days now and my general demeanor is usually unhappy and frustrated at the state of my life. I know my life isn’t particularly a bad one, I mean its comfortable and easy (im 20 still looking for a job (that aint likely)) I get to do lots of nothing and play games most of the time so mostly I shouldnt really complain but screw mostly, I will if I want […]