Had another one of those bizarre dreams; that kind where you imagine someone is laying down right next to you. It was my ex lover, that person I had so much to say to before our relationship crumbled but never did and will never get the chance to do so. Maybe that’s why I dream about her so much, I think we both felt there was something left we could’ve held onto. So now here I am dreaming about the good times we had.. holding her, kissing he passionately, so many memories of our souls connecting as one.. also it’s funny, how much I hate […]
well were to start well having to get up for college at 6 am today and tomorrow and mayb Friday Which really dose suck because I hate college now but I’m one of them people that have to finish something They start OCD maybe who knows
but the worst part is no not having to get up and go to college which u hate or get up at 6 am
The problem is waking up at all I really didn’t plan on living this long I really didn’t I should really have died at 18 or 19 so I’m like a decade over due and still don’t […]
Idk why i titled this post after a fairly odd parents character. My sister mentioned him earlier so there you have it. I’ve been in worse places than now. That said ive overeaten like a pig today, i was treated like a cop when i asked someone for weed, someone from my past contacted me out the blue but things are still fairly cold. The whole convo was less than 20 words between the both of us. The weed thing sucks. Ive been completely sober for 5 months since i moved here […]
This is my first time being on this site. A friend of mine that I just met, told me about it. He gave me his stories and I gave him mine. We are both happy that we met each other to remind ourselves that all of us still have a reason to live.
I have been a big fan of music. It has been my inspiration and helped me throughout my life. For my future, I would like to save people’s lives through making music for anyone that feels the same way as everyone.
I am glad to say I will […]
I know I have made seriously idiotic choices while ‘living’ in a zombie-like fog for a very, very long time; I’ve been so lost and absent for what seems like an eternity and I feel horrible for it. I am frozen. And it’s not fair to those around me, who watch as I walk around numb and oblivious. For so long. And I wonder what it all means. And I ruminate endlessly, stuck within my own self-imposed prison. I try to stay positive. I know I have been stronger, that I’m smarter than this, that this isn’t who I really am…or are those lies? So […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Does love really exist? I’ve wondered this many times. When I’ve dated guys and felt nice around them. When I’m with my grandma. When I think of dad. But then this feeling of emptiness comes along, and i hated it. Is that what love’s supposed to be? Emptiness? Why? Does mom feel like that when she thinks of me -if she ever does-? I hope not. I want her to only see the small good things I’ve done. they’re not so many but they’re something. Right? giving up my freedom wasn’t nothing, Right? God! If I had a dying wish it would be to hear […]
I’m packing up my life. Tying up loose ends. Cleaning it out. It’s making me really sad actually. Almost like this person has died already and I’m packing up her life.
I know it’s my choice. I can stay if I really want to. I just don’t think it’s an option anymore. But this girl, she seems like she had potential. Seems like she left a big hole it the lives of so many people.
This is hard.
Mom has lost her keys again,
dad keeps seaching for his cell phone,
sis is busy in her laptop,
bro is listening to music.
And I know where the keys are,
and I know where the phone is.
And I know what she is searching
and I know what he found there.
So I know what is comming,
but don’t know whats going on.
—
I feel worthless, empty and alone.
I will no kill myself anytime soon but I am destroying my life… doing nothing on the sofa
that is the day i decide it is over or i decide to move on with my life and hope its better. that is either my last day or the continuation of my life. i dont know which yet. some times im like “hell yeah, ill keep living” then most others are like “can it just all be over now?” i think i might try to keep a journal or something with a list. a list of all the reasons i should kill myself and a list of all the reasons i should stay alive. maybe thatll help me come to a decision at the […]
This is my first post. And I’m terrified. Terrified that I have to resort to something like this. Terrified that I’m finding myself sinking back into a hole I thought I had successfully climbed out of years ago.
I’ve had depression of varying degrees on and off since the age of 11. I remember clearly the burning desire to end my own life at age 12; a struggle that took me years to overcome. Don’t ask me how; I don’t remember. Most of that time period in my life has become hazy.
But now, here I am. 17 years old, a loving boyfriend, a promising future. And […]
I had a pretty good day today. I felt somewhat happy all day. It was a nice cloudy day and I’ve been happily enjoying my body and the lack of anxiety and depression that it feels today. However, I ran into an old friend at a restaurant and we chatted for a few minutes. I really hate talking to old friends because we have to summarize the last amount of years in a few sentences. I felt unaccomplished and having to tell him that I have basically done nothing with my life in the past years makes me feel annoyed and my anxiety crept back […]
I really haven’t got the strength to carry on my life has fell apart I’m depressed and so anxious I don’t really leave the house and to make things even worst I’m puting on weight because I’m comfort eating I really don’t know what to do I should have just killed myself last year iv just pro longed my pain and suffering
I jumped into the deep end,
(first my head and then my feet)
I’m drowning in the water;
I’ve fallen in too deep.
I’m drowning in this bed,
and I’m drowning in these sheets,
my hope was once my life vest,
now I’m sinking in my sleep.
They say “Seek Salvation”
but I haven’t found it yet,
I inhale and I exhale-
I’m still struggling for breath.
I’m running out of oxygen,
I’m running out of air
I’m at war with the world,
but the world’s not fighting fair
I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe so that I can just get it out of my system now and have something for other people to read after I’m dead. Maybe for some other reason. I don’t know.
My history with suicide is filled with twists and turns. Ever since I was ten years old, I could tell that I wasn’t normal and that no matter what I tried, I would never be able to fit in with other people due to my inconsistent and abnormal disposition. This idea stemmed from the fact that throughout my life as a child, I never really had any friends. There […]
I’ve been on this site for 4-5 years. When i was more active in the community, these are the people who meant the most to me. Please let me know if you reconize or know any of these members. It would make my day.
No one remember Klaurens I’m sure. But exhausted24 was the coolest person ever. I still have the emails from kallie’s family after she died. Dawg and AtTheEnd, and Duke were everywhere. Every single post, they would comment on. There’s this annie girl that showed me this site. She’s always meant the world to me. I know pasceltrees is never going to see this, […]
I’ve been here for a few years now, but on and off. My life’s been a rollercoaster really and I’ve been through all sorts of good and bad things. Eventually I would hit a low point, where I really would feel like there’s nothing left for me. The triggers would be different every time. Things always change and that’s so stressful.
But throughout the years, every time I’ve returned here to share my feelings or read others’ stories; this site has always been here. And it looks the same now as it did on my very first day. And there’s something special to me about that. […]
I am crazy in love with this guy, but we havent talked in a while.i have been in love with him since i was like 12 and ive never stopped loving him, i am 19 btw. he is in my mind all day and all night i dont know how to tell him, im afraid that im not good enough for him. im terrified that i might get hurt. but i dont think i could live without him. i dont think ill even stop loving him. no matter what other guys are in my life i cant seem to forget about him. what do i […]
Hi, I used to post here as Second_Winter before I got locked out for incorrect password stuff. I constantly read this site and relate to so many of you. I don’t post often, mostly out of apathy from my own situation and because I was locked out for so long.
My situation has gotten dire. I am in so much debt that I feel like I’m drowning. I recently returned from working a nonprofit job with students in another state and it was great, but my contract ended and now I’m back home. All of the reminders of my past are here, so much that I […]
I don’t know..
Are all my problems enough?
Is it enough to die?
Perhaps I’m just a young naive girl, in her depressed years, before she’s a woman. Think she’s the only person and her problems would change the world.
I don’t know.
There a so many people, with so many problems. I don’t know them all. Perhaps their life is much harder, than my life it is and they still alive.
What is a real reason, to kill yourself?
Are my problems enough to die?
I don’t know.