I wasn’t like this at first. I was so happy. I had strong religious faith. I was a good kid overall, so much that being depressed was out of the question. I guess the world is evil. The world changed my more mature self. I became more aware of problems. More family problems, friend issues, doubts in my faith, everything that was enough to tip my world over. My parents hate each other, but they stay together because of me. My friends don’t really care about personal things, and if they do they aren’t very supportive. I’m not the smartest person. I’m not pretty. I […]
is being alive but wishing to die. To be in so much mental and emotional pain that life loses meaning. It’s sad to constantly expect the worst from people and feeling guilty when you’re wrong and realize that people can surprise you. We live in our own hells that we’ve created for ourselves so lost in our own pain that we can’t focus long enough to figure a way out. I am free of many pains that I thought I would never stop feeling. I care for myself in ways I couldn’t even dream of, this time I’m not just saying it. I have sadness […]
She had come home from Chicago the night before. She, our roommate and I were drinking and watching Archer. I passed out. I came to with a raw cough in my throat like nothing I’d ever experienced. Turns out I threw up in my sleep and Roommate had to roll me over. He pointed to the soiled pillowcase in the laundry basket.
I heard my girlfriend whimpering low. I was the one in her life who knew her for the shortest amount of time, and yet I was the only one who could discern the barely-perceptible difference between her regular whimpers and the ones that indicated […]
Where do I begin with the shit excuse of a life I have to live? Where do I not begin? Well, my problems aren’t temporary…at least not all of them. It’s not something that some simple exercise can get rid of or basic makeup. It’s…hard to explain but it makes me wish my problems could just consist of being “fat” or having been molested, being poor, or whatever temporary pain someone is going through. Because in my opinion those are things you can overcome. They are permanent and you can make a change. What I go through everyday has been going on for years.
I’m 20 […]
Do you ever hear people say, “It’s okay. It’ll all get better.” Or “It’s only temporary.” And “Stay Strong.”
I’ve heard those phrases so many times in my life, it never really motivates me at all to keep going. Honestly, I feel like people only say that, just because they don’t have anything else to say that’ll actually make a difference. I’m glad I’ve found this website because, writing how I feel is far better than telling a “friend” how I feel. I’m about to be a Junior in high school and sometime during my Sophmore year, I texted a friend that I’ve known for 4 […]
….would be better if I wasn’t alive. I know suicide has been called selfish. I know that I think of it usually weekly for over 20years. Some weeks or months are worse than others. There have only been a couple months that I felt well enough that suicide didn’t cross my mind.
I am not a perfect mother, nor wife. I try but I am not a great cook or Suzy homemaker. I work full time and school full time and so the home suffers. I wish I could do it all. My mind and body are worn out. I have thought of the ways […]
So I have no idea how I ended up on this site, from the point of browsing to signing up to typing this. But I know that, this’ll do as a distraction even for a little while until I can actually find a way to die.
I suppose people reading this are thinking ‘well, what’s her reason for wanting to die?’ and the thing with me is, is I’m just very very shit at trying to ‘adult’ my way through life. I’m gonna start from the beginning to the point where I either feel like I’ll post this or just delete it because my life might […]
I’m pissed because I saw this thing yesterday that makes it sound like some huge opportunity but it’s not. You need a bachelor’s degree and to pay for everything. So, not as desperate as they make themselves out to be for candidates. What it was, was an ad on the back of a card saying anyone with any experience can go be a school teacher in Vegas because they’re so desperate for teachers. Now I hate people so it wouldn’t be my first choice but I hate everything in my life and I want a change of scene. Then when I looked into it they’ll […]
I feel I can’t take this anymore. I failed exams, relationship, health, social life and bla bla bla. I feel miserable. I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m hopeless,pointless. 🙁 These days I’m at my lowest point. Helpless. Maybe suicide is the only answer. Thanks for reading.
I think its time I plan my demise.
I have a lot of work ahead of me. I have told many people that I am in fact planning to apply to grad school but in actuality I can’t imagine living another year. I think I would like to take my life on the day I told people that I would be applying. It wouldn’t look like I was planning anything but a happy fruitful impossible life and helps me keep up the illusion that I am able to function on a day to day basis as a typical human.
Enough hoping for my demise to come to […]
Ya all must be sick of me. I have no one in my life to talk to. No one. I’ve since lost the one friend I did talk to because she ultimately didn’t approve of the guy I fell for being so much as alive and breathing. Yeah that pissed me off, of course. But I’m alone. And stuck with being homeless. I’d have to quit my job just to have the time to look for a place, but then I couldn’t pay for it. It’s just never going to happen. I can’t make any sense of this life, working so hard just to be […]
Heres my story i just need to talk to someone.
I will be 24 years old in a few weeks. I have lost everything. The love of my life left me 5 months ago. Im in so much pain but thats not even the start! It was all my fault she left. I have been hurt by 2 girls in the past i didnt open up my heart to this one soon enough! I was scared to get hurt again! I took her for granted and put my freinds first. Because i felt the would be the ones here for me in the end. I have […]
Ive found some media coverage around the world on a method that is near full proof and not much pain if taken with alcohol and sleep meds. If read papers and papers and stacks on this shit. Unfortunately this site is about no methods. Its been glamorized in hong kong and korea through media outlets. So ive chosen this as a way out if i do go. Pretty sure i will as i cant comprehend hearing voices till im 90 or so. Also male schizos are 60% likely to attempt suicide once. Its my life lesson i have to learn.
Also people have accidentally killed […]
nothing
It takes 3 days for this to take effect. Heh, fooled them into thinking I actually ate today.
I’m done with what they’re saying. They never wished they had me? Well good, I never wanted them as pathetic emotionally abusive parents either.
So I’m doing both of us a huge favor.
Funny thing, both of them were attacking me today. They wanted to push me into action so I can finally take the exam? Even if I do pass (with my critically low ‘danger of failing’ score on the exit hesi) and get a job as a nurse, I don’t truly care about people, since why the hell […]
I do not know what i am doing with my life. I find life pointless and irrelevant. People are bitchy and I find no reason to live anymore.
No matter how soon or how much more of this year I’ll see, I really want to do one more thing. I’ll have to buy another cheap tattoo kit like the one I had before and take the risk of attempting it with the hand I don’t normally write with. But I want “I’m not human” written on my arm. I at least want it known when I die what my main problem was and that sums it up. I took a chance earlier and put my soul crushing experience on a very public forum just to vent it out that yes I am hurt, […]
I have a lot of things that run through my mind. Things I can not explain. My dreams haunt me. My goals are just false hopes. My life is a mess. I hate my life even though, I know others have it worse. This makes me feel guilty. The guilt I have always lived with. The hate as well. I find no point in life. I want to die. I say I’m not scared but I’m scared shitless. I don’t want to go but I do. I’m scared cause after death there is nothing. […]
Something big hit me today when I was lying down on my bed. I have came to the realization there is nothing I actually want to do with my life. And when I say nothing I mean absolutely nothing. Everybody I have ever known has their own set of goals or things they want to do with their life. Whether that be in a loving relationship with kids, travel the world, go to concerts and parties,do any activities and so on. Everybody wants to do something.
Me? I want to do absolutely nothing. I don’t look at anything and be like I want to do this […]
Fuck I feel stuck. It’s a shit feeling after escaping this town for a little while. I’m pretty confused after the NAET treatment. I’m confused in general. trying to keep my spirits up but it’s tough when you’re grieving and processing so many emotions simultaneously. Losing my twin was tough. Part of me hates her because she really fucked with my life hard. Adding tons of gender dysphoria and a sense of never being able to be me. I’m still as confused as ever about that but she did a number on me. I try to keep my head up. I know certain emotions pass […]